Stupid & Funny from Around the World :Continued

[Arsalan]

Laloo Prasad Yadav sent his resume to apply for a post in Microsoft USA. Few days later he got this reply:


Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad,

*You do not meet our requirements.


Please do not send any further correspondence.


No phone call shall be entertained.*



Thanks,


Bill Gates.


Laloo Prasad jumped with joy on receiving this reply. He arranged a press conference.

Laloo Prasad addressing the press -

"Bhaiyon aur Behno, Aap sabbo ko jaan kar bahute khusi hoga ki humko America me naukari mil gaya hai."

Everyone was delighted. Laloo continued -

Ab hum aap sabko apna appointment letter padhkar sunaunga. Par letterva angrejji me hai, isliye saathesaath Hindi may translason bhi karunga....



Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad –

*PYARE LALOO PRASAD BHAIYA*


You do not meet –

*AAP MILTE HI NAHI HO*


Our Requirement –

*HUMKO TO JAROORAT HAI*


Please do not send any further correspondence –

*AB LETTER VETTER BHEJNE KA KAUNO JAROORAT NAHI HAI*


No phone call –

*PHONWA KA BHI JAROORAT NAHI HAI*


Shall be entertained –

*BAHUT KHAATIR KI JAYEGI*


Thanks –

*BAHUT BAHUT DHANYAWAAD*


Bill Gates - *TOHAR BILWA...*



“Note this is how our PMLN and its supporters interpret the Panama Case Judgement"

 

[ghazi52]

Here are 5 kinds of people you're bound to spot at a Pakistani movie premiere.

1) The 'mufta'

Anyone who asks Iss film may hai kaun? at a movie premiere clearly just had some time to kill... and a free movie ticket. This person is often a more important person's plus one and tends to lose their partner who is busy schmoozing with other VIPs.

The mufta is spotted lounging about, phoro-ing on free popcorn and drinks, and expects to be entertained in the next few hours.

Let's hope they didn't get a premiere pass to Raasta...

Better yet, let's hope they did. #ThatWillTeachThem

2) The PR phupho

Now this person takes movie premieres far more seriously. She (or he, you'd be surprised) turns it into a family excursion.

The said phupho probably has an aisle booked in her name and gets offended when organisers didn't think to keep a seat for her sister's brother-in-law's best friend's son's possible fiancee. If she can't demonstrate her connections, how else will the poor lad impress the girl.

You'll immediately recognise this person as they'll be the one yelling at some staffer about not letting in their family. You can't miss them — they're loud and screechy, we're talking "Who gives you that right!?" screechy.

3) The celeb swarm

Lots of people are invited to movie premieres 'cos they're famous. Not the actors in the film but just the stars of the industry. Together, they are there to support their friends, but end up hogging the seats. This is a problem when cinemas are overbooked. #Scowl

It's easy to spot these guys, even if you're not good with faces. These celebs (who insist that they are 'just like us') show up in gowns and tuxes, blending in oh so well with the rest of us in a kurta and jeans (pick any outfit you guys, you know what we're saying).

But hey, we don't mind, selfie please!

4) The star-struck

Some people just show up to take a picture of Mahira Khan.

Those people have zero qualms about stepping on toes, elbowing people squarely in the chest and brushing against unmentionable areas to get to the right spot near the red carpet to accomplish said task.

These fellas don't care about the movie. In fact, most will leave after the first ten minutes because they've Snapchatted their proof of being there. They only want a couple of selfies with the stars and are so desperate for them they'll take pics with anyone and everyone in the movie just for connections.

Sometimes they're a lil' creepy. Distinguishable features include heavy breathing, a leering glare and a hoarse whisper saying "Selfie pliss." These people should be sent home without popcorn or movie.

5) The over dressed

These pretty folks are not in the movie, and probably not there to cover it. They are there because they got the last HSY direct from ramp ensemble and need to flaunt it. And no, they aren't models either, although they do look like they catwalked all the way here.

Usually socialites who have to be where the party's at, these people have enough couture on them to have a mobile exhibition right there on the red carpet. The media usually confuses them for some celebrity, not because of any resemblance but because their outfits make it difficult to look anywhere else.

We might be jealous, but when we see their painful shoes, we feel more pity.

 

[Mentee]

@Soumitra plz translate the stuff written in Hindi on the add below

no! I don't search for Bollywood masala videos

 

[Soumitra]

@Soumitra plz translate the stuff written in Hindi on the add below

View attachment 393574

It says
Kyaa hoti hai kabaab main haddi jaanane ke liye yahaan click karain

What is "Kabaab main Haddi"? To know this click here

"Kabaab main Haddi" is an expression to denote the 3rd person who tries to come between the relationship of a couple

 

[Mentee]

It says
Kyaa hoti hai kabaab main haddi jaanane ke liye yahaan click karain

What is "Kabaab main Haddi"? To know this click here

"Kabaab main Haddi" is an expression to denote the 3rd person who tries to come between the relationship of a couple

yeh saari add m kebab kaha'n tha

 

[Soumitra]

yeh saari add m kebab kaha'n tha

My understanding is Kabaab main haddi is the woman with the frowny face.

 

[ghazi52]

 

[Soumitra]

Pakistanis remix Raees trailer without seeing the actual film. In their bid to boost the image of their general they made a big mistake

They forgot trailer alag hota hai poorie movie alag hoti hai. In the film the charactor of Raees (being played by Raheel Sharif in this trailer) is killed like a dog in an encounter in the middle of a desert by Chatak Majumdar (being played by Modi in this trailer). Even the line of the trailer "Ek di naak main nakeel daal ke khich ke le ke jaaunga tujhe yahaan se" did not give them a clue about the film. In the context of this remix trailer Modi is saying to Raheel that he (Modi) will put a nail in Raheel's nose and drag him across the street.

Way to go in trying to boost your image.

Maybe the mesage they are giving is that whatever he may do in the end Raheel Sharif is will be defeated by Modi

The saddest part is that tey could not even use the trailer of their own movies. they used the trailer of a Bollywood film which they claim to hate so much.

As a saying in hindi goes "Nakal ke liye bhi aksal chahiye."

 

[El Sidd]

Jason is sleepy.
Tim and Donald are the twins.
Anna and Laura are the twin sisters.
Number 4 is a trick question.
And its a judo class so each is the teacher to the other.

and yes i got help from Alan, my Chinese go to guy.

 

[Secret Service]

 

[takeiteasy]

Assuming Bahubali movie is watched:

 

[Mentee]

@MastanKhan @Doordie @SherDil @The Sandman @RealNapster

 

[RealNapster]

@MastanKhan @Doordie @SherDil @The Sandman @RealNapster

Yar wese ye DP me banda, konse movie hay ye ?

 

[Safriz]

School bag army

 

[Mentee]

Yar wese ye DP me banda, konse movie hay ye ?

gujar di parvaaz