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Stupid & Funny from Around the World :Continued

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An old guy was working out at the gym when he spotted a young hot girl walking in. He asked the trainer standing next to him, "What machine should I use to impress that girl over there?" The trainer looked him up and down and said; "I would recommend the ATM in the lobby."
 
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Story of every programming forum:

NewJavaFanBoy
: Java is the best language because of its community. Moreover, it has really cool features like lambdas. Why so many people hate Java?

FormerJavaFanBoy: Oracle killed Java.

DotNetFanBoy: The evolution of Java is too slow, C# had lambdas a while ago. Moreover, some critical features like optional and named parameters are not in Java. Now that dotnet is more open sourced and can be run on Linux with Mono, Java is going to die.

TrollRoxxoR: BecauseJavaDevelopersDontKnowHowToWriteCode

RealG33k: Both your languages are for kids, C++ is way better but it’s for real developers only. Do you even know what SOLID means?

HipsterGeek: So old and lame … you should try Node.js, it’s based on asynchronous calls and it’s very fast.

LinusTorvalds: Pussies, a real developer uses C or assembly. You can’t have performances with those high level shits.
 
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