Clearly, it would help to have someone bridge this cultural disconnection: Americans generally believe people are responsible for their actions and accountable to those whom they ask for support.
The belief here is that it is the Pakistani policy, pushed by self-interested PA and ISI officers, of encouraging terrorism against India and the Taliban in Afghanistan that is the root of Pakistan's troubles, and the reason why so many Pakistanis have died.
I think the U.S. is more concerned with Pakistan than Afghanistan. And Pakistan is not yet willing to give up on terrorism ("non-state actors", as Zardari calls them) as a tool.
In my judgment, you are indeed natives but you have not educated yourselves properly. 1) Thanks to helicopters, airplanes, and improved communications the PA can win against robber bands holed up in the mountains. 2) As I see it, if the GoP had listened to U.S. warnings the PA would never have had to fight a war this year.
I'll drop my "holier-than-thou" attitude when I'm proved wrong, not before - and then I'll change my mind. What about you, sir?