Pakistan’s New Media Dictionary (Hilarious)

[AnGrz_Z_K_Jailer]

Taliban:
Very hairy people who, in spite of being extremely obvious and ubiquitous, are still treated as ghosts by many TV hosts and their guests. They’d rather believe Elvis is alive than agree that it is the Taliban who are blowing themselves up in markets and mosques every now and then.
Example:
News Item: Taliban take responsibility for Pindi mosque blast.
Host: Who are these men?
News Item: Taliban take responsibility for Pindi mosque blast.
Host: Who can these terrorists be?
News Item: TALIBAN TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR PINDI MOSQUE BLAST!!!
Host: Who can do such a thing? Is it the Indians? Israel? CIA? Elvis?

Zaid Hamid:
A fast-talking rap artiste who stole Ali Azmat’s soul (and guitar), and turned Aag TV into the official Ghazwa-ul-Hind music channel. His biggest hits are ‘Let’s march on Delhi, y’all!’ ‘Hindus are insects, y’all,’ ‘I love wars, y’all,’ ‘M. B. Qasim is ma man, y’all,’ ‘So is Maria B, y’all,’ ‘Even though she’s a woman, y’all.’ Recently, Zaid also claimed that Ali Azmat’s tind is a UFO landing site. Ali was thrilled.


These are my Favorite ... Wallah this man make me laugh too much ...

 

[Developereo]

please support your argument with some thing practical, your personal views are not important here ,what will make more sense if you can please find one of his article and quote what part you disagree with.

That is my personal observation after reading his trash. I don't need to quote any one article, you can read any article by this two-bit, repetitious hack. He panders to Indian egos because he figures that's where the big bucks are.

He writes a lot of crap about the Pakistan/India relationship or the Hindu/Muslim conflicts. I dare you to show me even one article where he acknowledges Indian wrongdoing and defends Pakistan. Ditto Hindus v/s Muslims. Show me one article like that. Go ahead.

I dont see may against him why dont any one writes against him, like he does .. ?? simply because they lack gutts it takes a lot of courage to write against estabilisment!

Are you kidding? There's a whole host of Pakistani Orientalists who love to parrot Western/Indian propaganda against Pakistan. That article I linked above mentions a few, including Ahmed Rashid, Pervez Hoodbhoy, Aisha Siddiqa, etc. etc. These are all sycophantic sellouts who will trash Pakistan at every opportunity.

most of the pakistanis are against western or any foriegn influence

Most English-educated Pakistanis are pro-West and are fond of Western culture. There is nothing wrong with that, and I would put myself in that category also. But the difference is that many Pakistanis confuse admiration for Western culture with appeasement to Western agenda. The Western culture is admirable; the Western governments' agenda for Pakistan is not.

NFP is atleast honest and upfront to his readers.

How can he be honest when he doesn't have a single original thought of his own? All his articles are recycled Indian/Western propaganda.

some one not liked or not in favour of pakistan can be communicated to 200million pps in a minutes time , and news organisation are in the business of selling bad news so if he makes a mistake he knows what he has to deal with.

Pakistan, like many countries, has a subtle cultural divide. We have an educated, urban middle class which considers itself superior to the unwashed masses. This is similar to the US where the 'urban elite' along the coasts consider themselves superior to the hillbillies in the flyover states.

In any case, I am not trying to change your mind about NFP. If you like his articles, enjoy them. I find them boring, predictable and pedantic.

 

[pak-marine]

=Developereo;590629]That is my personal observation after reading his trash. I don't need to quote any one article, you can read any article by this two-bit, repetitious hack. He panders to Indian egos because he figures that's where the big bucks are.

you see this is what he is saying i will quote him below how he defines himself in his dictionary:
Nadeem F. Paracha:
An abomination brought to life by the Elders of Zion and the illuminati to misguide innocent young Pakistani patriots and mohib-e-watan-Ghazwa-ul-Hind warriors with the help of CIA money, NASA spacesuits, and KFC Zinger Burgers. Most probably has ancient Dravidian Hindu blood running in his veins and is certainly out to destroy the super-duper Muslim master-race.

He writes a lot of crap about the Pakistan/India relationship or the Hindu/Muslim conflicts. I dare you to show me even one article where he acknowledges Indian wrongdoing and defends Pakistan. Ditto Hindus v/s Muslims. Show me one article like that. Go ahead.

he is a cultural critique !additionally we have enough war/ hate mongers, try reading jang news or anyother paper some day "its full of murders , robberies , looting , war etc etc ... and seems like you have in my opinion wrong a set of criteria for Pakistani renowed personlities of whateva field that they must critisize india in order to qualify!

Developereo Are you kidding? There's a whole host of Pakistani Orientalists who love to parrot Western/Indian propaganda against Pakistan. That article I linked above mentions a few, including Ahmed Rashid, Pervez Hoodbhoy, Aisha Siddiqa, etc. etc. These are all sycophantic sellouts who will trash Pakistan at every opportunity.

Except NFP ,most of the ones you have mentioned are based abroad they are writing from a safe distance ,also what i meant was i dont see many pakistani media channels opposing him or writing against him. What could the reason be>?

DevelopereoMost English-educated Pakistanis are pro-West and are fond of Western culture.

thats where a lot a of confusion is what do we like about the west , the culture? or is it the life style ? them whole as a personality ? etc its a separate debate ,however my point was not just the western culture but also any other foriegn influence. I.e Saudi ,Iran etc etc...

contd ::Developereo There is nothing wrong with that, and I would put myself in that category also. But the difference is that many Pakistanis confuse admiration for Western culture with appeasement to Western agenda. The Western culture is admirable; the Western governments' agenda for Pakistan is not.

you are saying here if i say in simpler terms "you would like to enjoy infact you admire the western culture as a whole but its wrong to influence pakistani masses with western culture. Thats pretty self centred dude if you think about it!! what those poor souls have done why cant they enjoy what you and many others are enjoying
!?

Developereo How can he be honest when he doesn't have a single original thought of his own? All his articles are recycled Indian/Western propaganda.

he has said him self "wrote in bold ,he is funded by raw and KFC

Pakistan, like many countries, has a subtle cultural divide. We have an educated, urban middle class which considers itself superior to the unwashed masses. This is similar to the US where the 'urban elite' along the coasts consider themselves superior to the hillbillies in the flyover states.

you are right as far as the cultural divide but let me add this for u middle clas is realy smal minority.. Pak is agricultular country where due to medevil time landlaws and reforms the poor masses of farmers owe their life to the waderas , choudhris ,sardars or warlords in some cases. Therefore one shoudnt compare this tyrany with US.

Developereo In any case, I am not trying to change your mind about NFP. If you like his articles, enjoy them. I find them boring, predictable and pedantic.

[/QUOTE]

i have more admiration for NFP now.

 

[BlackenTheSky]

GEO TV:
ISKI MAA NE ISKO KASAM DI HA KE HAR GOVERNMENT KE KHILAF BoLNA HAI...AND HAVE TO SUPPORT YOU NEIGHBOURS..
GEO TV(but un-officialy being called JEW TV)

 

[Developereo]

you see this is what he is saying i will quote him below how he defines himself in his dictionary:
Nadeem F. Paracha:
An abomination brought to life by the Elders of Zion and the illuminati to misguide innocent young Pakistani patriots and mohib-e-watan-Ghazwa-ul-Hind warriors with the help of CIA money, NASA spacesuits, and KFC Zinger Burgers. Most probably has ancient Dravidian Hindu blood running in his veins and is certainly out to destroy the super-duper Muslim master-race.

He is being sarcastic; I guess you missed it.

In classic NFP style, however, he doesn't even have the creativity to come up with something original. It's standard NFP cut-and-paste from numerous Western/Indian parody articles.

he is a cultural critique !additionally we have enough war/ hate mongers,

He is a self-obsessed pompous twit. NFP is as myopic as the others and preaches as much hate as the other side. It's just that his hate is targetted at Pakistan and Muslims, which is considered acceptable in certain circles.

seems like you have in my opinion wrong a set of criteria for Pakistani renowed personlities of whateva field that they must critisize india in order to qualify!

I expect opinion writers to be fair and balanced: point out the flaws of all sides, including both Pakistan and India, Muslims and non-Muslims. NFP is an obsequious sycophant who panders to Indian egos and does not dare offend them by pointing out Indian wrongdoing. According to him, all the fault always lies with the uneducated, overly emotional Pakistani masses.

It doesn't occur to him that India has its own Bharat Verma, Bal Thackeray and Modi. That Indian media is obsessed with blaming Pakistan for every ill within India and a significant portion of the Indian populace is uneducated enough and gullible enough to fall for the Indian media propaganda.

If NFP had the guts and integrity to be honest, he would point these things out, but then he would lose his coveted Indian audience, so he sells out by pandering to their egos and writing only what they want to read.

i dont see many pakistani media channels opposing him or writing against him. What could the reason be>?

Because he is a predictable, one-trick pony without an ounce of creativity or integrity. Why should anyone bother paying attention to such a hack?

you are saying here if i say in simpler terms "you would like to enjoy infact you admire the western culture as a whole but its wrong to influence pakistani masses with western culture. Thats pretty self centred dude if you think about it!! what those poor souls have done why cant they enjoy what you and many others are enjoying
!?

Interesting! How on earth did you manage to glean that from my post? Please read it again. We can learn a lot from Western culture, but the political agenda of Western governments is against Pakistan's national interests. They want to prop up India as a counter to China, and Pakistan needs to be neutralized so India can focus on China.

you are right as far as the cultural divide but let me add this for u middle clas is realy smal minority.. Pak is agricultular country where due to medevil time landlaws and reforms the poor masses of farmers owe their life to the waderas , choudhris ,sardars or warlords in some cases. Therefore one shoudnt compare this tyrany with US.

I mentioned the urban middle class because we were discussing NFP's audience within Pakistan. He is popular with a certain segment of Pakistani society which looks down upon the rest of their countrymen. As I said, such segments are present in every country, including India and the US. Some people can only feel good about themselves by looking down on others.

 

[pak-marine]

He is being sarcastic; I guess you missed it.In classic NFP style, however, he doesn't even have the creativity to come up with something original. It's standard NFP cut-and-paste from numerous Western/Indian parody articles.

well one has to use sarcasm to do this sort of criticism, i dont know how more upfront some one can be ..... in other words he is calling pakistanis predictable! The creativity you are expecting is far to come one needs a healthy and safe environment to think of this all ,you are expecting a bit too much. On the other hand its the first time in history of Pakistan since last few years NFP or few others have had the oppourtunity to describe in open words the state of society we live in.

He is a self-obsessed pompous twit. NFP is as myopic as the others and preaches as much hate as the other side. It's just that his hate is targetted at Pakistan and Muslims, which is considered acceptable in certain circles
I expect opinion writers to be fair and balanced: point out the flaws of all sides, including both Pakistan and India, Muslims and non-Muslims. NFP is an obsequious sycophant who panders to Indian egos and does not dare offend them by pointing out Indian wrongdoing. According to him, all the fault always lies with the uneducated, overly emotional Pakistani masses.
It doesn't occur to him that India has its own Bharat Verma, Bal Thackeray and Modi. That Indian media is obsessed with blaming Pakistan for every ill within India and a significant portion of the Indian populace is uneducated enough and gullible enough to fall for the Indian media propaganda.
If NFP had the guts and integrity to be honest, he would point these things out, but then he would lose his coveted Indian audience, so he sells out by pandering to their egos and writing only what they want to read.Because he is a predictable, one-trick pony without an ounce of creativity or integrity.

He is a cutural critique whose prime focus is his country to start up with not the world. I am sure at a later stage this guy will give good bashing to not only India but the entire region.



Why should anyone bother paying attention to such a hack?
cuz no one dares too try and ask those "creative ones" wht are they so quiet about , lol.. or may be they are busy producing new ,insane , foriegn funded silly conspiracy theories, after all the idea is too worry the poor man to the max and keep those super a$$h011es in the establishment in power forever.

Interesting! How on earth did you manage to glean that from my post?

this is what you said :: the difference is that many Pakistanis confuse admiration for Western culture with appeasement to Western agenda. The Western culture is admirable; the Western governments' agenda for Pakistan is not.


FYI in a nut shell spreading western culture is the western agenda i think you are confused here

I mentioned the urban middle class because we were discussing NFP's audience within Pakistan. He is popular with a certain segment of Pakistani society which looks down upon the rest of their countrymen.
As I said, such segments are present in every country, including India and the US. Some people can only feel good about themselves by looking down on others.

this is lack of communication but we have a wide spread media who can now approach the masses , to educate the masses he is addressing a selective crowd to start up with or may be he is using a non BS media source ..! i dont know ! you are unhappy with him but an equal number of muslim names are there in comments post i guess 95% of them are Pakistanis.

 

[Gin ka Pakistan]

It doesn't occur to him that India has its own Bharat Verma, Bal Thackeray and Modi. That Indian media is obsessed with blaming Pakistan for every ill within India and a significant portion of the Indian populace is uneducated enough and gullible enough to fall for the Indian media propaganda.If NFP had the guts and integrity to be honest, he would point these things out, but then he would lose his coveted Indian audience, so he sells out by pandering to their egos and writing only what they want to read.Because he is a predictable, one-trick pony without an ounce of creativity or integrity
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Smokers’ Corner: It is us
By Nadeem F. Paracha
Sunday, 20 Dec, 2009

Across Pakistan’s history a number of politicians, lawyers, journalists, student leaders and party workers have bravely wrestled with the establishment’s civil, military and economic arms.

These arms have played every dirty trick in the book of destructive Machiavellian politics set into motion against democrats so the ‘establishment’ can retain a stagnant and largely reactionary political and economic status-quo; a status-quo that fears the pluralistic and levelling qualities of democracy.

Many from the higher echelons of society have prospered from this status-quo. They are always ready to ward off democracy through a synthetic brand of ‘patriotism’ concocted from overt displays of nationalistic chauvinism and politicised Islam.

Though they are quick to blame the masses for falling so easily for democratic parties’ ‘empty’ promises, the truth is, the same masses have been more susceptible to whatever hate-spewing gibberish and mythical brew these magicians have been feeding the people for decades in the name of history, Islam and patriotism.

This brew, present in the history books our children are taught, has been gradually turning the average Pakistani into a paranoid and pessimistic android who, as if instinctively, lets out his frustrations by pounding the democrats with cynical blows, also swinging wildly at Pakistan’s many enemies he is told are lurking within and outside its borders.

In this mangled discourse, the documented horrors of the long military dictatorships that this republic has suffered are conveniently forgotten; sometimes even by those in the political and journalistic circles who had struggled hard for a democratic setup; they suddenly seem to lose all their painfully cultivated tolerance and patience, once that democratic setup is revived.

No wonder, in this day and age, we are still debating whether democracy is right for Pakistan, and/or is it compatible with Islam. It is not surprising that such debates crop up in a nation constantly injected with a heavy dose of dubious history which begins not five thousand years ago with the Indus Valley Civilisation, but many centuries later with Muhammad Bin Qasim’s conquest of Sindh. In fact, some textbooks have had no qualms of completely bypassing logic by claiming that Qasim was actually the first Pakistani!

This history then cleverly ignores the many terrible intrigues and murders that were committed by a series of Muslim rulers against their own comrades and kin, sometimes in a fit of jealously and sometimes owing to pure power play. This historical narrative goes to work right away when we are quick to present ourselves as noble people who are incapable of murder, genocide and intrigue, and assert that it is actually other races and religions who have been targeting us.

We forget West Pakistan’s controversial role and the bloodbath that followed in the former East Pakistan. We forget how the founder of Pakistan was treated while on his death bed, as he lay lamenting how some of his closest colleagues couldn’t wait to see him die. We forget how a wily general calling himself a pious Muslim sent a popularly elected prime minister to the gallows on the feeblest of evidences.

We forget how an Islamic party being led by a renowned Islamic scholar was behind two of the most shameful acts of mass rioting against the Ahmadiya community. We forget how, long before Hindu fanatics tore down the Barbri Masjid in India, varied Islamic sects and sub-sects were busy going to war against one another in the streets of Lucknow (Muharram processions are banned in that city for over a decade now owing to Sunni-Shia and not Hindu-Muslim rivalry).

We forget the terrible sounds of the army’s tanks rolling into Balochistan (1962, 1973); and then in Sindh (1983), slaughtering a number of young Baloch and Sindhis, accusing them of treason, when all they wanted were their democratic rights. We forget the terrible decade-long armed action by the state against ‘Muhajirs’ in Karachi, in which whole families were wiped out.
We forget how our intelligence agencies schemed the downfall of one democratic government after another in the 1990s, all the while fattening scores of holy monsters many of whom are now blowing up our markets and mosques. There are many more of these horrid episodes in which Pakistanis killed Pakistanis and Muslims slaughtered Muslims.

Why is it so difficult then for us to understand that the mayhem rained on us today is by monsters like the home-grown Taliban? ‘It can’t be us. It can’t be Muslims,’ we say.

Back in 1971, very few Pakistanis were willing to advise Yahya Khan to get into a dialogue with rebelling Bengalis. But today, after years of unprecedented violence perpetrated by the Taliban, we have many politicians, TV hosts, and journalists suggesting a dialogue with men who one can’t even be described as human. These people’s minds and those of their followers have been influenced by all the concocted and mythical moments of glory, and of justified hatred in the name of religion and patriotism present in our historical discourse and the false memories that it has created in us.

Unfortunately such demagogic claptrap still manages to pass as being Pakistan and Muslim history in the textbooks and on popular TV.

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I wish he was born Indian Gujrat and was living there