One liners :)

[Marxist]

I take the greatest pride in my complete lack of ego

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one"

 

[Wounded Healer]

If God wanted most of us to see the sunrise, He would have scheduled it later in the day.




"I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter."
Sir Winston Churchill

 

[SpArK]

Women should not have children after 35. Really... 35 children are enough.

 

[Durrak]

no one ever attains success by simply doing what is required of him.

 

[SpArK]

On my first day of school my parents dropped me off at the wrong nursery. There I was... surrounded by trees and bushes.

 

[Marxist]

" He slept beneath the moon,
He basked under the sun,
He lived a life of going to do and died with
Nothing Done."

---------- Post added at 12:31 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:30 AM ----------

Arranged Marriage is like jumping into the well with eyes closed, Love Marriage is doing the same with eyes open

 

[SpArK]

How To Identify Cities In India

Scenario 1
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along, then a fourth and they start arguing about who's right.
- You are in Kolkata

Scenario 2
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along, sees them and walks on.
-That's Mumbai


Scenario 3
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along & tries to make peace. The first two get together & beat him up.
- That's Delhi

Scenario 4
Two guys are fighting. A crowd gathers to watch. A guy comes along and quietly opens a chai-stall.
- That's Ahmedabad.

Scenario 5
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes he writes a software program to stop the fight. But the fight doesn't stop b'cos of a bug in the program.
- That's Bangalore

Scenario 6
Two guys are fighting. A crowd gathers to watch. A guy comes along and quietly says that Rajnikanth doesn't like all this nonsense. Peace comes in.
- That's Chennai.

Scenario 7
Two guys are fighting. Both of them take time out and call their friends on mobile. Now 50 guys are fighting.
- You are DEFINITELY IN A CITY IN PUNJAB - AMRITSAR

 

[Wounded Healer]

Actual Court Quotes

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.



Q: This myasthenia gravis - does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?



Q: All your responses must be oral, okay? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.



Q: How old is your son - the one living with you.
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.



Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.



Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.



Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the voodoo occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.

 

[Marxist]

"There is no WRONG Time to do a RIGHT Thing"

 

[Marxist]

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something

 

[Marxist]

The only man I know who behaves sensibly is my tailor; he takes my measurements anew each time he sees me. The rest go on with their old measurements and expect me to fit them-G.B. Shaw

 

[DaRk WaVe]

 

[Hyde]

 

[Marxist]

"if you are ploughing a field, which would you rather use? Two Oxen or 1024 chickens?"

 

[Marxist]

If you cant hit the Target,Hit something and call it Target.