No country for single women

[Hermione]

They are not that smart, but materialistic.They are urged to get married before they reach 28 otherwise they risk being branded as "Leftover,or the other woman".Whom nobody wants to marry and they in most cases remain as such for the rest of their life or end up being Lesbian or worse being someones mistress.
House is important as you cannot own land, all land belongs to government and you buy villa or condo, you have permission to do whatever you want till 100 years after 100 years.It is demolished and you have to rebuy your property in the same place or somewhere else.
so, having a home is important.

I read here they there were hiring boyfriends to show to their parents.
When asked around they too had arranged marriage thing but that was gone due to cultural revolution only the top /business families follow that tradition of arranged marriage.

Being materialists is termed as being smart. It is the same in all societies where "love marriage" is the norm. People soon find out love is something that is not going to happen and settle for being smart.

 

[wolfschanzze]

Not a good strategy at all.

Things can go from good to bad in a flash.
You need somebody who will stick with you if you lose your job or things go bad.

Arguments about money lead to divorce. You need a friend who doesn't care about your money.

That is not how it works out in china.It's as materialistic as one can gets,those concepts you say, can go for a toss once you don't have money or job chances are that person would leave you.The japanese women on the other hand,still believe in the things you say,from what i seen.Lot of difference between both asian countries.

 

[Hermione]

That is not how it works out in china.It's as materialistic as one can gets,those concepts you say, can go for a toss once you don't have money or job chances are that person would leave you.The japanese women on the other hand,still believe in the things you say,from what i seen.Lot of difference between both asian countries.

India is still an idealist society for the most part.

 

[wolfschanzze]

Being materialists is termed as being smart. It is the same in all societies where "love marriage" is the norm. People soon find out love is something that is not going to happen and settle for being smart.

Agreed.But i seen ideal women here,who will stick with their family to the end come what may, and even after death of the husband, they still carry the burden of raising the family without getting remarried. its changing nowadays though.
I know a friend of mine who had arranged marriage later to find out that girl had a boyfriend and she was still in touch with him after marriage.The reason she married him was by that time her boyfriend was not settled in life and looking at how my friend has a good life with a fat paycheck she agreed.They moved to australia.The boyfriend got in touch with her with emails telling her now that he got a job they should get back.When the husband found out about this fiasco she fake attempted suicide and lodged domestic violence cases against him in australia and India.He was acquitted in australian courts as they didnt have gender bias laws like 498a we have in india.Back in india his whole family and some brothers who stay in other part of india and had no connection to family were put in jail along with small kids and a compensation of 1 crore was asked by the girl.
They had been hardly married for 1 month and all these broke out.It was found on medical examination she was 4-5 months pregnant, so in order to cover that she did that fake suicide attempt and fake cases.He lost his job in australia and India.But now he is feeling good as he got rid of her.She and her family still want reconcilliation but the damage is already done.

 

[Hermione]

Agreed.But i seen ideal women here,who will stick with their family to the end come what may, and even after death of the husband, they still carry the burden of raising the family without getting remarried. its changing nowadays though.
I know a friend of mine who had arranged marriage later to find out that girl had a boyfriend and she was still in touch with him after marriage.The reason she married him was by that time her boyfriend was not settled in life and looking at how my friend has a good life with a fat paycheck she agreed.They moved to australia.The boyfriend got in touch with her with emails telling her now that he got a job they should get back.When the husband found out about this fiasco she fake attempted suicide and lodged domestic violence cases against him in australia and India.He was acquitted in australian courts as they didnt have gender bias laws like 498a we have in india.Back in india his whole family and some brothers who stay in other part of india and had no connection to family were put in jail along with small kids and a compensation of 1 crore was asked by the girl.
They had been hardly married for 1 month and all these broke out.It was found on medical examination she was 4-5 months pregnant, so in order to cover that she did that fake suicide attempt and fake cases.He lost his job in australia and India.But now he is feeling good as he got rid of her.She and her family still want reconcilliation but the damage is already done.

Yeah there are quite a few such cases, but still the overwhelming majority are the loyal idealist kind. Even men, for all their talks majority men are sort of loyal kind too in India.

 

[wolfschanzze]

Funny part was the girls brother who lodged those cases himself was a victim of 498a as he and his wife were seeking divorce and the other party(the wife''s family) got in touch with my friend and made a strategy to get out of this mess.
I am not saying this happens to all, but yeah things like these happen too

 

[Hermione]

Funny part was the girls brother who lodged those cases himself was a victim of 498a as he and his wife were seeking divorce and the other party(the wife''s family) got in touch with my friend and made a strategy to get out of this mess.
I am not saying this happens to all, but yeah things like these happen too

Karma is a bitch What goes around comes around, in unexpected ways though.

 

[Dillinger]

@Hermione As I said, it depends, despite my countless forays I am yet to be jaded. It is about an individual's way of perceiving, experiencing and coping.

@Oscar While we're on the topic, when is the almighty player and debonair extraordinaire Oscar sahib going to get hitched?

 

[SQ8]

re on the topic, when is the almighty player and debonair extraordinaire Oscar sahib going to get hitched?

Once he gets a Jaguar XFR.. no hitching before that. thankfully, things are going that way..

 

[Dillinger]

Once he gets a Jaguar XFR.. no hitching before that. thankfully, things are going that way..

If I were in the vicinity would I get a ride in the Jag..perhaps with some new lady friends?

 

[cyphercide]

Society has a jaundiced view on unmarried guys as well. I'm 27 and all conversations with relatives invariably drifts towards my plans for "settling down."

It applies in even informal settings, for example, a single guy entering a club is more likely to be stopped than a chick wanting to get in. I don't see men crying tears about it.

 

[Gandhi G in da house]

Single men face issues too man. If you are an Indian man and not married till 30 , everybody will look at you like you are an alien and some will think you are gay.

 

[SQ8]

If I were in the vicinity would I get a ride in the Jag..perhaps with some new lady friends?

Dont worry, its a four seater.. plenty of room in the back for lady friends to share.

 

[livingdead]

This is completely unfair to a developing country, but leave it to BBC to make this claim. But it's articles like this that really shows the unprofessional and biased behavior. Control media, or stupid media, one or the other.


Women in China and India face this problem because these women do want to marry, eventually. Then there will be kids, maybe multiple. If just two kids with marriage, vacations, and the responsibility of a small children, that's a decade of not so productive work. There's always exception, but in nations of this fierce competition it's bound to happen.

A lot of women marry young, so that by the time they graduate university, with either bachelor or masters, they are more or less married maybe even have a child. Then they can go full force into the work place.

This is a discrimination, yes, but we must see it for what it is, it's not a bad person that would do this, it's a person with limited funding and options.

It's not fair, but neither is the world, it's affordable in developed countries more or less, though now days less so, in our countries, it's a huge burden, especially other qualified unemployed candidates are available.

bbc is not making any claim that is untrue, I dont think many Indians will find the article untrue. BBC is very rarely critical of developing country like India, at the same time it has to show what is true.
The main crux of the report is lack of individual space for modern Indian women who think they are in charge of their own destiny but even if they live in big cities, somehow they feel chained.
It applies to certain degree to male too. Generally Indian society lothes individualism and gives more importance to collective(say family) than Individual (a bit too much I think)

Even in UK, there are many social norms and people will judge you if you dont follow them, but you are given quite a bit of leeway in how much you adhere to social norms.

 

[shuttler]

What are Indian mother in law's requirements for a man? lol

indian grooms get dowries
search into that subject
it will take you a walk through this indian culture which ended up with many tragedies