And as for Shadi please do dua for me. Seriously in no mood to live alone and the fear is growing in my mind and resulting in some not so good thoughts
Loneliness can indeed be daunting. It feels like you are incomplete and makes one yearn for companionship.
Depressive episode can make all the thoughts and scenarios one think in their mind pretty negative and worse.
There are few things to always keep in mind. The way one thinks at night beofre sleeping is different than the morning with a fresh mind. So always try to think after sleeping, not before. The pre-sleep thinking mostly doesn't even happen.
Zarvan bro, you already know in today's world, marriage has become way difficult and society is degrading... So struggling to become a better person and only seeking correct and righteous path is also Jihad in a way...
Despair is not an option. We have trials in our life and Allah also tests us in different ways.
I experience depressive episodes despite being on anti-depressants. But for me, I clung to Islam to keep me sailing. I think otherwise, I might have simply suicided by now. It doesn't mean everyone does that, for many it might not even work, but in my opinion, I think you will also find it useful and effective and thus, I am suggesting it to you. Grasp anything that helps you keep going.
Remember, every cloud has a silver lining. We just have to endure whatever negatively we face and remain steadfast.
Believe in yourself and belief in Allah. IA, things will become better!
P.S: (I am saying these things and sharing the video not just for yourself, but for myself too. I need all this advice as much as you)
