Joke

[asad71]

May be a repeat -----


Wow, She's Had Her Fair Share of Bad Luck...

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What??" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but why?"

"Oh, you're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"

 

[asad71]

This Is One Party He'll Be Glad Not to Have Attended...
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One Monday morning, a postman was walking through a neighborhood on his usual route delivering the mail. As he approached one of the homes, he noticed that both cars were still in the driveway.

His curiosity was cut short by Craig, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer, wine and spirit bottles for the recycling bin.

“Wow Craig, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night,” the postman commented.

Craig, in obvious pain, replied: “Actually we had it Saturday night. This is the first time I have felt like moving since 4 am Sunday morning. We had about 15 couples from around the neighborhood over for some weekend fun and it got a bit wild. We all got so drunk around midnight that we started playing WHO AM I?”

The postman thought for a moment and said: “How do you play WHO AM I?”

‘Well, all the guys go in the bedroom and come out one at a time covered with a sheet with only the 'family jewels' showing through a hole in the sheet. Then the women try to guess who it is.”

The postman laughed and said, “Sounds like fun. I'm sorry I missed it.”

“Probably a good thing you did,” Craig responded. “Your name came up seven times.”

 

[SipahSalar]

The Indian army has ordered all its troops along the LOC to be circumcised -- so that the casualties can be shown as Pakistani casualties. The operation is code named "Surgical Strike".

 

[Chauvinist]

@Zibago @Narendra Trump @The Sandman @I S I @django @PaklovesTurkiye
Ishaq Dar bribed them..

 

[Reichsmarschall]

@Zibago @Narendra Trump @The Sandman @I S I @django @PaklovesTurkiye
Ishaq Dar bribed them..

Who nominated him??

 

[Chauvinist]

Who nominated him??

Don't know..but must be someone Aqal ka andhaa.. Jisay kakh b nai pta finance k about..

 

[Reichsmarschall]

Don't know..but must be someone Aqal ka andhaa.. Jisay kakh b nai pta finance k about..

Wese ishaq Dar b itna burra tou nhe hai or us k ilawa Pakistan mai koi oor b nhe hai

 

[Chauvinist]

Wese ishaq Dar b itna burra tou nhe hai or us k ilawa Pakistan mai koi oor b nhe hai

Han he is better... but I hate his tax implications.. moreover budget making strategy... hmari fair N lovely January main 120 ropay ki thi ab 185 ki hai..

 

[Reichsmarschall]

hmari fair N lovely January main 120 ropay ki thi ab 185 ki hai.

Faiza Beauty Cream lgana shru kr dain 223190

 

[Chauvinist]

Faiza Beauty Cream lgana shru kr dain 223190

Hahah na wae.. Acni ho jati hai try ki thi.. Or muh aalo ki tarha cheela hua lgta hai. Toba kar li nahi lgani.

 

[Reichsmarschall]

Hahah na wae.. Acni ho jati hai try ki thi.. Or muh aalo ki tarha cheela hua lgta hai. Toba kar li nahi lgani.

tou face fresh lagain 10 dno mai Gorri Rangaat

 

[ghazi52]

 

[Divergent]

Oh wow some of these jokes go back to 2006 - a decade ago lol

 

[Arsalan]

Once an Auditor was travelling by train in AC class!

He was traveling alone!

Some time later, a Beautiful lady came and sat on the berth opposite the Auditor's.

The Auditor was pleasantly Happy!

The lady kept smiling at him! This made him even more Happy!

Then she went and sat next to him!

He was bubbling with Joy!

She then leaned towards him and whispered in his ear " Hand over all your valuables, cash, cards, mobile phone to me
else I will shout and tell everybody that you are harassing and misbehaving with me"

He stared blankly at her!

He took out a paper and a pen from his bag and wrote " I can not hear or speak. You write on this paper whatever you want to say"

The lady wrote everything that she had said earlier and gave the paper to him!

Auditor took the paper and kept it in his pocket!

Then He got up and said to her " Now shout and scream"

Moral of the story:
DOCUMENTATION IS CRITICAL.

 

[war&peace]

Hilarious....

@GreenFalcon @Doordie @SherDil007 @Arsalan