Joke

[Hyde]

hahahahahahahahahah oh my god

what a joke this is kamal ho gaya

 

[S.U.R.B.]

well @ zaki.....This joke has been posted by mshoaib61 earlier on page 60 ....repetition.....
LET'S READ ANOTHER

Two fellas are fishing in a boat under a bridge.

One looks up and sees a funeral procession starting across the bridge.

He stands up, takes off his cap, and bows his head.

The procession crosses the bridge and the man puts on his cap, picks up his rod and reel, and continues fishing.

The other guy says, "That was touching. I didn't know you had it in you."

The first guy responds, "Well, I guess it was the thing to do - after all, I was married to her for 40 years."

 

[PurJosh]

Media: twisted news

Preacher wanted to raise money for his church and on being told that there was a fortune in horse racing, decided to purchase one and enter it in the races. However at the local auction, the going price for horses was so high that he ended up buying a donkey instead. He figured that since he had it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races.

To his surprise, the donkey came in third! The next day the local paper carried this headline: 'PREACHER'S @$$ SHOWS'

The preacher was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and this time it won. The paper read: 'PREACHER'S @$$* OUT IN FRONT' The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the preacher not to enter the donkey in another race. The paper headline read: 'BISHOP SCRATCHES PREACHER'S @$$'

This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the preacher to get rid of the donkey. The preacher decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The paper headline the next day read: 'NUN HAS BEST @$$ IN TOWN' The Bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.00. Next day the headline read:
'NUN SELLS @$$ FOR $10.00'

This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey, lead it to the plains where it could run wild and free. Next day, the headline in the paper read: 'NUN ANNOUNCES HER @$$ IS WILD AND FREE'

The Bishop was buried the next day.

 

[A.Muqeet khan]

a boy was sitting on the chair in a bar a girl c ame to him and said "sorry bro but u r sitting on my chair "the boy said "no problem but listen i am not ur bro my father never fucked ur mom""true but my father did "

 

[A.Muqeet khan]

a girl came running to her mother she soothed her and replied that whats the matter the girl said that she was comparing her body parts with her boy frnd and she has a part missing thr mother heaved a sigh and said as long as u have one of thers u will always be able to get one of those

 

[A.Muqeet khan]

Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle-aged couple and a young newlywed couple wanted to join a new church in their neighborhood. The pastor said "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks to show will-power." The couples all agreed and came back at the end of 2 weeks.

The pastor went to the elderly couple and asked, "Were you able to abstain from sex for 2 weeks?"

The old man replied.. "No problem at all, Pastor".

"Congratulations! Welcome to the church!" said the pastor.

Then he went to the middle-aged couple and asked, "Well, were you able to abstain from sex for 2 weeks?" The man replied, "The first week was not too bad, but the second week I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights..but, yes, we made it."

"Congratulations..Welcome to the church!" said the pastor.

The pastor then went to the newlywed couple and asked the same question,

"Were you able to abstain from sex for two weeks?"

"No, pastor, we weren't able to make it", the young man replied sadly.

"What happened, my son?" inquired the pastor.

"Well, my wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and took advantage of her right there!"

"You understand, of course, this means you will not be welcome in our church" said the pastor sadly.

"We know." said the young man, "We're not welcome at Safeway anymore either

 

[A.Muqeet khan]

A king travels through the desert, when he suddenly discovers a man captured under a big rock, he throws a rope around the rock and ties it to his horse and pulls the rock off the man. The man, gratefull as he is, tells the king that he's really a great sorcerer, and gives the king three wishes.

The king looks at the Sorcerer and says "OK, then I wish to be immortal", the sorcerer replies "Puff, it's done." The king takes a knife and stabs himself and nothing happens, then he says "OK, then I want my horse to be immortal." The sorcerer replies "Puff, it's done". The king, happy as can be, stabs his horse and nothing happens, then he says "OK, then I want my horses genitals." The sorcerer replies "Puff, it's done".

The king, still happy, jumps on his horse and rides back to his castle, in the doorway he meets his friend Peter, jumps off the horse and tells Peter that he's now immortal. Peter laughs, but the king gives Peter his knife and says "Here stab me with the knife." Peter stabs the king as ordered and nothing happens, then the king shows Peter that his horse also is immortal, and replies "That's not even the best part look at this" and the king drops his pants. Peter looks at the naked king and screams out loud "Damn that's the biggest pu__y I've ever seen..."

 

[A.Muqeet khan]

A man on a lonely weekend, decides to go to the nearby Whore house to get some late night action. So he drives to the shop, and walks up to the man behind the counter. He says to the man
"I'm lonely, and im looking for some action, what do you got?" the man behind the counter smiles and replies.
"Today is our special, we have three doors, and it's twenty bucks to get in one of the doors." so the man gives the clerk a twenty, and asks the clerk
"what's behind the doors?" the clerk shrugs and says
"I cant tell you, thats part of the fun." So the man decides to go into door A. He walks in, and sees an obese woman, in lacey garments, all spread eagle. The man closes the door, and comes out about three minutes later.
"That was Horrible!" he says, the clerk replies
"Well then perhaps youll like to try door B?" so the man gives the clerk another twenty, and goes into door B. This time there is a beutiful super model, laying there in plus size bed, just waiting for him. About two hours later, he comes out, his hair and cloths messed up.
"WOW! that was amazing, hey, if door B was that much better then door A, I wonder whats behind door C?!" He runs by the clerk, slams down twenty bucks, and runs into door C.
When he gets in the room, its pitch black, and he can't see anything. So he starts to feel around for someone. He finds something, warm and smooth, and theres hair! its a person, he finds a hole, and theres alot of hair around it! shes naked! so he wips his thing out, and sticks it in. Its warm and feels great, about four minutes after that, the lights turn on. And theres a little dwarf running around with a big beard spitting all over the place going "yuck, yuck, yuck!"

 

[Adios Amigo]

Hi,

Please refrain posting those kind of jokes. No doubt its a discussion forum,but decency should be maintained at all levels, even jokes below the bar are not acceptable.Thanks,










Adios

 

[xuxu1457]

in 25th March,this pic posted by BBC,several hours later,remamped by BBC as:

 

[A.R.]

can any one translate it in english or in hindi???

 

[Gin ka Pakistan]

^^^^ A guy cought a fish and asked his wife to cook it and wife said no electricity Gas or oil , so plz put the fish back into the water
The fish said with joy Geo Zardari

 

[xenia]

^^^^ A guy cought a fish and asked his wife to cook it and wife said no electricity Gas or oil , so plz put the fish back into the water
The fish said with joy Geo Zardari

its GEO ZORDARI...i think a "semi-pun"--zardari + zordari

 

[courageneverdies]

Once during a flight, the two pilots of the plane were discussing about an Air-Hostess, Tina.

One Said to other: "Pehlay Tina se Chae (Tea) mangwatay hain or phir uss sey Nain Matakka Karain gay."

Unfortunately, the Mic of the captain (Pilot) was On and all the passengers heard this conversation. The Air Hostess, Tina, was at the back of the plane and hearing this, quickly, almost ran towards the cockpit but got unbalanced and fell in the lap of an Elderly Man.

The Man simply said to Her, "Tumhain itni jaldi kya hay? Unhon ne pehlay Chae (Tea) peeni hay."

KIT Over

 

[mshoaib61]

A donkey kicked a Sardar & ran away
Sardar ran to catch the donkey.
He saw a zebra & started beating it & said 'SALA Tracksuit pahan ke dhoka
De raha hai'.