I'm sure we've all read a headlines of 'Important Economists' predicting everything from growth to gloom, boom to bust. This prediction always comes with a clear 'recommendation' that would be compulsory to ensure the best result says the economist.
And we all know that bastard is going to get things wrong. Except when he's right.
As a son of an economist, let me tell you that economists are well aware of this. Here are the jokes they tell each other!
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During the Cold War, the dictator of a country visited the president of another.
"My friend," He says to the President "You are lucky, you do not have to fear for your life. I have one hundred bodyguards and yet one is a traitor and I cannot find out who!"
The President tries to cheer him up. "I think I know how you feel. I have a council of one hundred economists, and only one ever gives good advice while others try to drive the country into ruin!"
The Dictator is horrified, "Merciful God! Why don't you just fire everyone except the smart one? Surely it is better than having to listen to their lies everyday!"
The President huffs in disgust, "That's the problem, the one who gives good advice is never the same!"
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The First Law of Economists: "For every Economist, there exists and opposed Economist of equal eloquence."
The Second Law of Economists: "They are both wrong."
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Communist Economist: Force the Electrician to accept the same payment as the guy who screws on the lightbulb, and then force both of them to pay half of their salary to the poor to insure 'equality', then wonder why nothing gets done.
Conservative Economist: Assume that if the room is dark long enough, a new light bulb will naturally screw itself in. Wonder why nothing gets done.
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The company needed someone good with numbers, and so they posted an ad on the newspaper.
The 3 short-listed candidates to be interviewed were a Mathematician, Accountant, and Economist.
When the Mathematician interviewed, the boss asked him "What is 2+2?"
"4" He answers.
The Boss asked him if he is sure. He looks at the boss as if the boss is crazy. "Yes, it is always 4, that is basic addition that is set in stone!" He declares with confidence.
Next came the Accountant. He is asked the same question.
"4" Came the reply.
The Boss asked him if he is sure. The Accountant looks thoughtful.
"Well, it depends on depreciation, tax renumeration, and interest rates. But 2 + 2 is such a small sum that so long as you round to nearest round number, the answer will almost always be four."
Finally came the Economist. The boss asked him "What is 2 + 2?"
The Economist hesitates, before doubtfully answering " 4 ?"
"Are you sure?"
The Economist stands up, storming around the office while closing the door and pulling the curtains.
He sits back down and stares at the boss right in the eyes and says:
"I need this job, what do you want it to equal?"
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