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For the apple of my eye, who I lost to Pakistan’s incompetence

third eye

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A sad incident, should not happen to anyone.

I have read posts by Pak posters who grudge patients getting treated in India, this is one reason why they should come to India.

For the apple of my eye, who I lost to Pakistan’s incompetence – The Express Tribune Blog


On August 22, 2013, I was blessed with a healthy baby boy, Yahya Waqas. He was perfect in every sense of the word. The apple of my eye, the joy of my life, everything I could ever dream of. He was a beautiful baby, my little miracle when I least expected it. He made our family complete.

The three of us, he, my husband and I, were totally inseparable. We laughed with him, played with him, even danced with him. He was a feisty young boy and it was during my pregnancythat I fell unconditionally in love with him and I knew that from that day forward, I would be a completely different person.

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Yahya Waqas. Photo: Amel Abid

But he passed away on March 19, 2014.

Yahya was diagnosed with Total Anomalous Pulmonary Venous Return (TAPVR), a rare complex heart disease that affects one in a thousand babies. I was shocked, hurt and disoriented to say the least. He was a normal child with unbelievable reflexes. He knew what he wanted and when he wanted it. He knew how to demand things. He knew that he was loved and cared for.

We took him to the best hospital in Rawalpindi and what we believed to be the best cardiac facility in Pakistan. Little did we know that we were putting our baby in hands of the most incompetent doctors and staff. The doctor refused to perform surgery until he was at least six months old. They believed he weighed less and needed to gain more weight to be fit for the surgery. But the doctors at Fortis Escorts Heart Institute in India advised otherwise and deemed the procedure necessary before three months of age.

The sad part is that we were too late. He was already in the ICU when we found out about Dr Rajesh Sharma, and moving Yahya in his prevailing predicament was impossible.

During those six months my family went through hell. From heart medicines to vomiting to choking, we saw what I would not even wish upon the worst of my enemies. We saw our Yahya in pain. He caught pneumonia twice during those six months. He was hospitalised twice. His pneumonia wasn’t the cause of his death though. He caught another virus during our stay at the hospital while he was in the ICU and on a ventilator. He underwent Laparotomy, a surgical procedure for the abdomen, and was diagnosed with intestinal ischemia, which caused gangrene in his intestines.

We were told that he probably won’t even survive the procedure because of his continuing pneumonia and his heart condition, but my son did survive. The procedure was successful but he just couldn’t take it anymore and died of multiple organ failure after 12 days of surgery.

We saw him struggling for his breath. We saw him when he was being poked with needles again and again. I was there when he couldn’t recognise me anymore, when he passed bloody stools. I was there all along. I couldn’t hold him in my arms and I couldn’t stop his pain. I could see my husband falling apart, I saw the pain my family was going through but I knew one thing at the end, my son was a fighter.

Born in an army family, he was tough as a rock. He would have made an excellent soldier one day but Allah had other plans. He is among angels now. I miss him every second of every day. I miss his face, his eyes, his laughter, his cries, I miss it all.

I don’t have regrets but I wish I had known better at the time. I wish I had taken him abroad for his surgery. I wish I had researched a bit more and instead of putting him in an unhygienic paediatrics ward here in Pakistan, I wish I had taken him to the best doctors abroad. Either we don’t have the technology to perform such procedures on infants or the doctors here just do not have the confidence or competence it requires.

The heartless barbarians we call doctors here in Pakistan do not care if your child is sick or even if he dies at their hands. Except for maybe one or two humble doctors I met during my stay at the hospital, every other individual, be it a doctor or a nurse, is cruel, heartless and ignorant. This for me at least is a lesson well learnt and one that I can never erase from my memory.

This should be a lesson for every mother and every father struggling with the health of their children. Every infant with a congenital heart disease here in Pakistan is at risk. I’ve seen how a small disease can spread and turn into something entirely different just because of lack of proper hygiene and negligence. Save your children while you still can and while there is still a chance.
 
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its sad to see a loss of human life, esp if its an infant child. They are angels sent by god, we should put them above hate politics
i don't know about others, but i would recommend Indo-Pak doctors exchange to improve diagnoses
Both have alot to learn from each other
 
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Rest in Peace , Yahya.

OP - the story is about a grief stricken mother. This should NOT have had a "flag" written on it. Thousands of babies die in Indian hospitals too because some mothers / families are too poor to be even admitted through. Let's not politicise this tragic blog.
 
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its sad to see a loss of human life, esp if its an infant child. They are angels sent by god, we should put them above hate politics
i don't know about others, but i would recommend Indo-Pak doctors exchange to improve diagnoses
Both have alot to learn from each other
What exactly is it that Indian doctors have to learn from Pakistanis when thousands of Pakistanis come to India for medical treatment?
 
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no matter for knowledgeable you are, there is always something more that can be learned ... different terrain of Pakistan would bring different challenges
In any case, I am not a votary of people to people contacts between India and Pakistan.
I think they must be kept away from our population as much as possible.

Visas should only be granted to the elites of Pakistan - cultural elites, business elites, political elites and military elites, so that we can keep negotiating with those who matter in Pakistan.

No one else. It is a mistake that the Government is liberalizing visas for Pakistani's.
 
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In any case, I am not a votary of people to people contacts between India and Pakistan.
I think they must be kept away from our population as much as possible.

Visas should only be granted to the elites of Pakistan - cultural elites, business elites, political elites and military elites, so that we can keep negotiating with those who matter in Pakistan.

No one else. It is a mistake that the Government is liberalizing visas for Pakistani's.
medical and humanitarian visa are more important than visa or elite, remember these people are the once which will bridge people to people contact elite won't
 
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medical and humanitarian visa are more important than visa or elite, remember these people are the once which will bridge people to people contact elite won't
And do we really need to 'bridge gaps' ?
You bridge gaps with people who are better, you dont bridge gaps with a population that has been radicalized over decades, that has not been living in a pluralistic society and is a violent society.

If they are given visas, they will come here and transport their ideas of shariah and non Muslims on to people living here.

We need to have a transactional relationship with Pakistan - one in which they dont trouble us in Kashmir and we donot trouble them in other places. Where we can have mutual trade and use their territory for trade with Afghanistan.

Other than that, we dont require anything else. And this can be accomplished by giving visas to just the various elites of Pakistan. They are the ones who actually make decisions in Pakistan.

For medical and humanitarian needs, Pakistanis are free to go to the rest of the world, we are not the only country in the world with good medical facilities - China, Dubai, Singapore, Malaysia, KSA(?).
 
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Felt very Sad,touched & moved.Being a father of one daughter,I can understand his pain,trauma,agony & the Heruclean efforts he took to rescue his child. May the Lord give him & his family the strength to bear the Grievousness loss of their only child.

Well I pray that this doesn't happen with anybody.
 
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And do we really need to 'bridge gaps' ?
You bridge gaps with people who are better, you dont bridge gaps with a population that has been radicalized over decades, that has not been living in a pluralistic society and is a violent society.

If they are given visas, they will come here and transport their ideas of shariah and non Muslims on to people living here.

We need to have a transactional relationship with Pakistan - one in which they dont trouble us in Kashmir and we donot trouble them in other places. Where we can have mutual trade and use their territory for trade with Afghanistan.

Other than that, we dont require anything else. And this can be accomplished by giving visas to just the various elites of Pakistan. They are the ones who actually make decisions in Pakistan.

For medical and humanitarian needs, Pakistanis are free to go to the rest of the world, we are not the only country in the world with good medical facilities - China, Dubai, Singapore, Malaysia, KSA(?).

180 million Pakistanis aren't our problem, a handful of few are. Elite are the one which have't done anything to build this relationship, past 67 years are testimony to that.

The other countries you mention are far more expensive, remember these are poor people
 
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And do we really need to 'bridge gaps' ?
You bridge gaps with people who are better, you dont bridge gaps with a population that has been radicalized over decades, that has not been living in a pluralistic society and is a violent society.

If they are given visas, they will come here and transport their ideas of shariah and non Muslims on to people living here.

We need to have a transactional relationship with Pakistan - one in which they dont trouble us in Kashmir and we donot trouble them in other places. Where we can have mutual trade and use their territory for trade with Afghanistan.

Other than that, we dont require anything else. And this can be accomplished by giving visas to just the various elites of Pakistan. They are the ones who actually make decisions in Pakistan.

For medical and humanitarian needs, Pakistanis are free to go to the rest of the world, we are not the only country in the world with good medical facilities - China, Dubai, Singapore, Malaysia, KSA(?).
A bigot pointing fingers at others.
 
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180 million Pakistanis aren't our problem, a handful of few are. Elite are the one which have't done anything to build this relationship, past 67 years are testimony to that.
I question the need for a relationship.
Why do we need one? What we really want from them is to stop talking on Kashmir and start trade. You would be hard pressed to find a third demand from Pakistan by India.

Even there, our most pressing need is trade. As you can see from the last two years, it can be achieved and delivered by the Elites. Nawaz Sharif and Zardari both massively liberalized the trade regime between India and Pakistan without any accompanying 'relationship'. The NDMA is still not granted, but we are well on the way there.

See how we managed that? - By influencing the elites - the political elites, the business elites and cultural elites.

What we donot need to do is build bridges with the Pakistani society to accomplish our goal.
The other countries you mention are far more expensive, remember these are poor people
Is it our concern? They are Pakistani's, and Pakistan must deal or help them.

There are millions of Africans who are poor people and yet we are strict with giving them visas are we not. Why should we bother about any one other than Indians. You realize that we have hundreds of millions of poor and distraught Indians who need help and who should be our priority.

A bigot pointing fingers at others.
Thankyou for the most enlightening post.
 
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