Frankenstein
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This is a debut novel by the fifteen year old Pakistani author Shehreyar Khan.
And please do not hold back any comments you may have since we are looking for criticisms which will let us know what people do not enjoy particularly in the book. Thanks!
The series contains of total 6 books, out of which 3 have been completed by Shehreyar Khan. He began writing when he was thirteen, and is currently working on the rest of the three books.
Here is the prologue of the book to give you a preview of how the book is like:
PROLOGUE
It all came down to this moment. My life. My struggles. The deaths of my loved ones and the dreams of countless shattered across bloodstained rocks. Having to see the torment of the innocent, the ones who just happened to come in the way. The gory wars and the suffering from of having to see men fall in my name. The feel of conquest beneath my sword, the corrupting guilt that followed soon after and the times when the darkness caught up, the oblivion enveloping me until I lost all hope and could see defeat on the horizon. The years of futile wandering to find an answer to the question that plagued me the sweltering deserts, immense mountains, chaotic seas and dark skies that I have braved to find the answer it all came down to this day the day I shall die.
An answer so simple.
These were the thoughts that passed through the mind of Isen the Silent, a man who had seen everything that destiny could throw upon him, as he stood impassively in the vastness of the Alkai Desert. He was a tall man, shoulders broad and short-cropped hair riffling in the blistering desert air that swept in from the west. His face was as lifeless as that of a statue, all emotion veiled behind a pale curtain, unemotional, as if he had seen the fires of hell and lived to tell the tale. This man, though great, was an insignificant entity before the vast panorama that surrounded him. Rising steeply on all sides, were grey cliffs, forming a natural barrier, in the likeness of a cage. Poised above him in the blue firmament was the sun, a blazing ball of fire, which was the source of suffering for the scattered nomads who roamed the deserts. It beat down mercilessly on the sea of sand, heating it to the point that if uncovered flesh were to touch it blisters would soon follow. The heat was so great that the air above the pan of the desert shimmered; warm air flowing rapidly upwards to and cooler air flowing in to replace it.
The breeze across his face was irritating. It stung his face and the sand that it threw into his eyes even more annoying, as it hampered his vision; however, it was his last day so he ignored it. His eyes, two black dots, surveyed the surrounding ridges searching for the people that he knew were hiding close by, waiting for some sign perhaps. Isen knew these people; they were his enemies and today they would kill him.
Patience.
He remembered this desert well. It was where he had found the meaning of life in the midst of death. Thirsty and fatigued and the knowledge that death was near had taught him what he loved about life. It was from that experience, from which he had discovered that the reason one lived could only be realized when the life he cherished was being dragged out of him.
Isen sighed. That was a time long past. When he was young and seeking glory, or perhaps he was seeking a way to feed his young mind with knowledge.
Isen lifted his head to the sky. Every ounce of life that existed in the desert spoke to him. From small beetles crawling over the sand to a distant falcon, circling in the sky as it searched for its prey.
Akash, what do you hide from? You know what Im here for so why wait? Isens eyes stopped moving, locking onto a man who had appeared swiftly on top of a far dune. He was what one would call a devil.
The being was lean, rock hard muscles visible on his bare arms with a slight mocking smile on his face. His entire body was poised like a drawn bow, ready to unleash its fury at the first thing, which moved. His hair, which was a straight reddish brown sheet, fell to his shoulders. It had an unnatural sheen to it. Similarly, everything about him was unnatural and his eyes were two yellow pits that only helped to enhance his animalistic looks. Isen felt as if he stared into the eyes of a cat about to pounce on its prey. A black scabbard was bound across his back, the hilt of his sword sticking out over his left shoulder where it could be drawn at the tiniest indication of danger. Even though the mans stance showed caution and readiness, he had the demeanor about him of being extremely calm.
So Isen this is it? The man named Akash vanished and instead stood a few meters away from Isen. To the average eye it would have seemed as if he had disappeared and reappeared in that place, however Isen and seen every tiny movement.
Isen showed some emotion for the first time, his lips stretching into a thin smile. It seems youre still prone to theatrics, you havent changed the slightest since the last time we met.
The statement was thrown calmly and in a way which made it seem that the two had known each other well before, maybe even good friends. Akash replied in almost exactly the same tone.
My theatrics as you call them are simply a show of superiority. I have always believed one must demonstrate ones powers from time to time to remind those beneath him who the leader is.Akash turned, looking out over the dunes. However, you of all should know that we transform our personalities only up to a certain extent, after which the mold becomes fixed. I have lived for so long that if I were to change every winter that came and every spring that graced us, I would forget who I originally was, loose all ties to my motives and ideals even my humanity. What use is there of change if all that you live for is forgotten and becomes nothing but the past, a victim of the ravages of time. Dont you agree?
Silence reigned, save for the howling of the wind.
Isen turned towards his adversary, his tone contemptuous. Be serious for once Akash, humanity? Ideals? Try not to think of me as a fool after all the years youve fought me. I, better than anyone, know you have no ideals or humanity. It is the humanity and the ideals of a person that brings about a change in personality. The change happens because you view the suffering and joys of the world with compassion, learning from them your own flaws and positive traits. Change is when your principles are shattered and you build them anew out of the broken pieces of your defeat. What do you know of change? Of humanity? Of Ideals?Asked Isen. If you had any ideals you would have left your three pets where they belong and come alone to face me.
Akash laughed over the wind, his voice filled with power. Nothing escapes those damned eyes of yours, Isen. Quite frankly, Ive grown sick of them too. I cant even get a spy near to you. Well theres no more reason to hide. Show yourself Saneen!
There was slight shift in the air, almost as if a wave was spreading over it and immediately three beings materialized beside Akash, a woman and two men. The woman was an epitome of beauty as was the man who stood directly to Akashs left. It was as if they were two faces of the same coin. The third was a short, stocky person whose simple face and beady eyes made him seem like a tiny flame before an inferno in comparison to the others. They all looked the lone man up and down who so confidentially faced them.
Finally we all get together, Isen, continued Akash. After almost six decades the five of us stand in a single place. This is remarkable that we, the most powerful beings to walk the world, should come here. It is even more remarkable of you, to come out so boldly into the open.
Isen seemed not to hear the words spoken, looking at each of them in turn.
Do you think of yourself greater then us now? Have you gained some untold powers or maybe a piece of knowledge that will aid you in your quest to defeat us? Or have you come here to die?
Isen shook his head slowly as one would when he is amazed. You seem to read my mind. To all your questions, I have one answer. Yes. All of them showed some sort of emotion except for Akash who waited patiently for him to continue. I always believed myself greater than you Akash-
There was a loud roar and the man who stood to Akashs right charged at Isen. The woman screamed. No Thanatos! However, it was already too late.
His sword arced at Isens unprotected neck and it seemed this was the end for him. Isen swayed back gracefully, like a willow in the wind, sweeping his cloak aside to reveal a sword and in a single movement unsheathing and striking at his assailant with it. A long silver blur stretched in front of him and the handsome man threw himself onto the desert sand, clutching at his face as blood sputtered out from between his fingers, painting the sand red.
The man named Thanatos rolled to his feet, staggering back and through bared teeth growled. Damn you Isen! I swear Ill see you dead by sunset!
Akash spoke softly from behind and his voice was filled with malice, all his previous coolness had disappeared. If he had chosen to do so Thanatos, your head would now be lying at his feet. Youre no use to me dead and even less use if youre too stupid to think straight!
Thanatoss face became a mask of panic. Im sorry Akash, he insulted you and I couldnt stand for it.
The anger in Akashs voice and features disappeared as he replied. I applaud your devotion Thanatos, now stand behind me and make no move. This man is far beyond your powers.
Isen watched them without a word and spoke only when calm had settled. Thatll mar youre beauty Thanatos. A cut from Avestas can never be healed you must have heard that before. After all, it was the man who destroyed all of you who forged this sword from his magic. You knew him well did you not? This time Thanatos managed to control his emotions. Isens eyes drifted over the others. Anath you are more beautiful than ever. I always considered you the essence of sin. A visage of beauty with a heart of corruption. Have you heard that one before?
Even in this situation, Anath smiled slightly. No one could resist Isens charm.
He laughed softly, unnerving his four enemies. Had he lost his mind, they thought? How could he be so calm when facing them?
And you Dunamis? I see you are still the rational one. The one who is always quite, watching and waiting for the right moment. Men like you are the ones to watch out for.
Isen looked once more at Akash. Now let me give you my answer. I always believed myself greater than you. The answer to our second question is that yes, I have gained untold power as well as a piece of knowledge that will help me achieve my goals and the answer to your third question is yes. I have come here to die because my meaning to live came to an end two nights before.
The tension in the air was almost tangible and when Akash spoke, his voice had the hint of disbelief. It would be foolish not to believe you since I know you would not walk into such an obvious dead end, without a guarantee that you would leave here alive or maybe even victorious. What is it? Have you achieved the final threshold of the Krateros Blood Magic?
Im sorry to say that youre delusional now Akash. That is not possible. I have come here to die and trust me when I say you will walk away from here more than alive and you, not I, will be the victorious one.
Akash laughed again, that powerful laugh. I understand now! You have realized the futility of your mission. You have discovered that all you have fought for was for nothing and that I am in fact unbeatable. Is it not? That is what you meant when you said the meaning of your life had come to and end! Akash paused, his face become serious as he stared into the mans eyes. Well Isen I will show you my humanity here and now. I will show you my generosity and mercy. Join me! I forgive you. Join my ranks and I will reward you instead of giving you the punishment you so rightly deserve.
There was total silence as if the world balanced on the edge of destruction.
Isen swung his sword up, pointing it at Akash. Do not insult me Akash! I have lost everything in this lifetime of mine, everything! Everything I cherished, respected and believed in and still I have not stooped to your lowly level! Do not believe us to be of the same cloth! Isens voice was bitter. Your arrogance has revealed itself Akash! To believe I, one of the Krateros, shall bow my head to you! His words seemed to shake the air and the power of his rage was like a solid entity whipping through it. I stand here as a man! I will not be tempted by your void offers of glory because I have long since achieved a state of being beyond anything your powers can lay before me! Fear me Akash! Fear my wrath! It is the blood in my veins which will drag you to the earth and mix you with the soil where you belong!
Akash stepped forward. Krateros? You believe because of your linage you can speak to me like this. I destroyed the Krateros! I ripped them apart; it was my mistake then to overlook you! I will correct that here and now Isen. He drew the sword behind his back, a zing filling the air. This is the end Isen the Silent. I will respect you one last time and allow you to tell me why you lost your mind and came here openly. I want to know what has driven you to the edge of sanity.
Isen held the hilt of his sword in both hands. I am saner than ever. I have seen what the future holds for you and that is enough. I have seen great men die because of you. I have seen men following you blindly, worshipping and respecting you while you spit on their devotion. The death of untold millions and the pain you have caused cannot be forgiven! Well the end is near, Akash. Farewell.
I am very happy to post this thread cuz the Guy is my Friend
*thumbs up* for you Shehreyar
And please do not hold back any comments you may have since we are looking for criticisms which will let us know what people do not enjoy particularly in the book. Thanks!
The series contains of total 6 books, out of which 3 have been completed by Shehreyar Khan. He began writing when he was thirteen, and is currently working on the rest of the three books.
Here is the prologue of the book to give you a preview of how the book is like:
PROLOGUE
It all came down to this moment. My life. My struggles. The deaths of my loved ones and the dreams of countless shattered across bloodstained rocks. Having to see the torment of the innocent, the ones who just happened to come in the way. The gory wars and the suffering from of having to see men fall in my name. The feel of conquest beneath my sword, the corrupting guilt that followed soon after and the times when the darkness caught up, the oblivion enveloping me until I lost all hope and could see defeat on the horizon. The years of futile wandering to find an answer to the question that plagued me the sweltering deserts, immense mountains, chaotic seas and dark skies that I have braved to find the answer it all came down to this day the day I shall die.
An answer so simple.
These were the thoughts that passed through the mind of Isen the Silent, a man who had seen everything that destiny could throw upon him, as he stood impassively in the vastness of the Alkai Desert. He was a tall man, shoulders broad and short-cropped hair riffling in the blistering desert air that swept in from the west. His face was as lifeless as that of a statue, all emotion veiled behind a pale curtain, unemotional, as if he had seen the fires of hell and lived to tell the tale. This man, though great, was an insignificant entity before the vast panorama that surrounded him. Rising steeply on all sides, were grey cliffs, forming a natural barrier, in the likeness of a cage. Poised above him in the blue firmament was the sun, a blazing ball of fire, which was the source of suffering for the scattered nomads who roamed the deserts. It beat down mercilessly on the sea of sand, heating it to the point that if uncovered flesh were to touch it blisters would soon follow. The heat was so great that the air above the pan of the desert shimmered; warm air flowing rapidly upwards to and cooler air flowing in to replace it.
The breeze across his face was irritating. It stung his face and the sand that it threw into his eyes even more annoying, as it hampered his vision; however, it was his last day so he ignored it. His eyes, two black dots, surveyed the surrounding ridges searching for the people that he knew were hiding close by, waiting for some sign perhaps. Isen knew these people; they were his enemies and today they would kill him.
Patience.
He remembered this desert well. It was where he had found the meaning of life in the midst of death. Thirsty and fatigued and the knowledge that death was near had taught him what he loved about life. It was from that experience, from which he had discovered that the reason one lived could only be realized when the life he cherished was being dragged out of him.
Isen sighed. That was a time long past. When he was young and seeking glory, or perhaps he was seeking a way to feed his young mind with knowledge.
Isen lifted his head to the sky. Every ounce of life that existed in the desert spoke to him. From small beetles crawling over the sand to a distant falcon, circling in the sky as it searched for its prey.
Akash, what do you hide from? You know what Im here for so why wait? Isens eyes stopped moving, locking onto a man who had appeared swiftly on top of a far dune. He was what one would call a devil.
The being was lean, rock hard muscles visible on his bare arms with a slight mocking smile on his face. His entire body was poised like a drawn bow, ready to unleash its fury at the first thing, which moved. His hair, which was a straight reddish brown sheet, fell to his shoulders. It had an unnatural sheen to it. Similarly, everything about him was unnatural and his eyes were two yellow pits that only helped to enhance his animalistic looks. Isen felt as if he stared into the eyes of a cat about to pounce on its prey. A black scabbard was bound across his back, the hilt of his sword sticking out over his left shoulder where it could be drawn at the tiniest indication of danger. Even though the mans stance showed caution and readiness, he had the demeanor about him of being extremely calm.
So Isen this is it? The man named Akash vanished and instead stood a few meters away from Isen. To the average eye it would have seemed as if he had disappeared and reappeared in that place, however Isen and seen every tiny movement.
Isen showed some emotion for the first time, his lips stretching into a thin smile. It seems youre still prone to theatrics, you havent changed the slightest since the last time we met.
The statement was thrown calmly and in a way which made it seem that the two had known each other well before, maybe even good friends. Akash replied in almost exactly the same tone.
My theatrics as you call them are simply a show of superiority. I have always believed one must demonstrate ones powers from time to time to remind those beneath him who the leader is.Akash turned, looking out over the dunes. However, you of all should know that we transform our personalities only up to a certain extent, after which the mold becomes fixed. I have lived for so long that if I were to change every winter that came and every spring that graced us, I would forget who I originally was, loose all ties to my motives and ideals even my humanity. What use is there of change if all that you live for is forgotten and becomes nothing but the past, a victim of the ravages of time. Dont you agree?
Silence reigned, save for the howling of the wind.
Isen turned towards his adversary, his tone contemptuous. Be serious for once Akash, humanity? Ideals? Try not to think of me as a fool after all the years youve fought me. I, better than anyone, know you have no ideals or humanity. It is the humanity and the ideals of a person that brings about a change in personality. The change happens because you view the suffering and joys of the world with compassion, learning from them your own flaws and positive traits. Change is when your principles are shattered and you build them anew out of the broken pieces of your defeat. What do you know of change? Of humanity? Of Ideals?Asked Isen. If you had any ideals you would have left your three pets where they belong and come alone to face me.
Akash laughed over the wind, his voice filled with power. Nothing escapes those damned eyes of yours, Isen. Quite frankly, Ive grown sick of them too. I cant even get a spy near to you. Well theres no more reason to hide. Show yourself Saneen!
There was slight shift in the air, almost as if a wave was spreading over it and immediately three beings materialized beside Akash, a woman and two men. The woman was an epitome of beauty as was the man who stood directly to Akashs left. It was as if they were two faces of the same coin. The third was a short, stocky person whose simple face and beady eyes made him seem like a tiny flame before an inferno in comparison to the others. They all looked the lone man up and down who so confidentially faced them.
Finally we all get together, Isen, continued Akash. After almost six decades the five of us stand in a single place. This is remarkable that we, the most powerful beings to walk the world, should come here. It is even more remarkable of you, to come out so boldly into the open.
Isen seemed not to hear the words spoken, looking at each of them in turn.
Do you think of yourself greater then us now? Have you gained some untold powers or maybe a piece of knowledge that will aid you in your quest to defeat us? Or have you come here to die?
Isen shook his head slowly as one would when he is amazed. You seem to read my mind. To all your questions, I have one answer. Yes. All of them showed some sort of emotion except for Akash who waited patiently for him to continue. I always believed myself greater than you Akash-
There was a loud roar and the man who stood to Akashs right charged at Isen. The woman screamed. No Thanatos! However, it was already too late.
His sword arced at Isens unprotected neck and it seemed this was the end for him. Isen swayed back gracefully, like a willow in the wind, sweeping his cloak aside to reveal a sword and in a single movement unsheathing and striking at his assailant with it. A long silver blur stretched in front of him and the handsome man threw himself onto the desert sand, clutching at his face as blood sputtered out from between his fingers, painting the sand red.
The man named Thanatos rolled to his feet, staggering back and through bared teeth growled. Damn you Isen! I swear Ill see you dead by sunset!
Akash spoke softly from behind and his voice was filled with malice, all his previous coolness had disappeared. If he had chosen to do so Thanatos, your head would now be lying at his feet. Youre no use to me dead and even less use if youre too stupid to think straight!
Thanatoss face became a mask of panic. Im sorry Akash, he insulted you and I couldnt stand for it.
The anger in Akashs voice and features disappeared as he replied. I applaud your devotion Thanatos, now stand behind me and make no move. This man is far beyond your powers.
Isen watched them without a word and spoke only when calm had settled. Thatll mar youre beauty Thanatos. A cut from Avestas can never be healed you must have heard that before. After all, it was the man who destroyed all of you who forged this sword from his magic. You knew him well did you not? This time Thanatos managed to control his emotions. Isens eyes drifted over the others. Anath you are more beautiful than ever. I always considered you the essence of sin. A visage of beauty with a heart of corruption. Have you heard that one before?
Even in this situation, Anath smiled slightly. No one could resist Isens charm.
He laughed softly, unnerving his four enemies. Had he lost his mind, they thought? How could he be so calm when facing them?
And you Dunamis? I see you are still the rational one. The one who is always quite, watching and waiting for the right moment. Men like you are the ones to watch out for.
Isen looked once more at Akash. Now let me give you my answer. I always believed myself greater than you. The answer to our second question is that yes, I have gained untold power as well as a piece of knowledge that will help me achieve my goals and the answer to your third question is yes. I have come here to die because my meaning to live came to an end two nights before.
The tension in the air was almost tangible and when Akash spoke, his voice had the hint of disbelief. It would be foolish not to believe you since I know you would not walk into such an obvious dead end, without a guarantee that you would leave here alive or maybe even victorious. What is it? Have you achieved the final threshold of the Krateros Blood Magic?
Im sorry to say that youre delusional now Akash. That is not possible. I have come here to die and trust me when I say you will walk away from here more than alive and you, not I, will be the victorious one.
Akash laughed again, that powerful laugh. I understand now! You have realized the futility of your mission. You have discovered that all you have fought for was for nothing and that I am in fact unbeatable. Is it not? That is what you meant when you said the meaning of your life had come to and end! Akash paused, his face become serious as he stared into the mans eyes. Well Isen I will show you my humanity here and now. I will show you my generosity and mercy. Join me! I forgive you. Join my ranks and I will reward you instead of giving you the punishment you so rightly deserve.
There was total silence as if the world balanced on the edge of destruction.
Isen swung his sword up, pointing it at Akash. Do not insult me Akash! I have lost everything in this lifetime of mine, everything! Everything I cherished, respected and believed in and still I have not stooped to your lowly level! Do not believe us to be of the same cloth! Isens voice was bitter. Your arrogance has revealed itself Akash! To believe I, one of the Krateros, shall bow my head to you! His words seemed to shake the air and the power of his rage was like a solid entity whipping through it. I stand here as a man! I will not be tempted by your void offers of glory because I have long since achieved a state of being beyond anything your powers can lay before me! Fear me Akash! Fear my wrath! It is the blood in my veins which will drag you to the earth and mix you with the soil where you belong!
Akash stepped forward. Krateros? You believe because of your linage you can speak to me like this. I destroyed the Krateros! I ripped them apart; it was my mistake then to overlook you! I will correct that here and now Isen. He drew the sword behind his back, a zing filling the air. This is the end Isen the Silent. I will respect you one last time and allow you to tell me why you lost your mind and came here openly. I want to know what has driven you to the edge of sanity.
Isen held the hilt of his sword in both hands. I am saner than ever. I have seen what the future holds for you and that is enough. I have seen great men die because of you. I have seen men following you blindly, worshipping and respecting you while you spit on their devotion. The death of untold millions and the pain you have caused cannot be forgiven! Well the end is near, Akash. Farewell.
I am very happy to post this thread cuz the Guy is my Friend
*thumbs up* for you Shehreyar
