As a soldier, carrying out the orders of GoP in line with its policy at the time -- one can not fault him. In fact one must appreciate, and salute his achievements. Salute his prowess as a soldier and an SSG, one must.
But then comes the awkward question of his conduct after retirement --- There have been numerous cases where US Vietnam Vets who did numerous tours of duty could not fully assimilate back into their civil lives and remained out casts from their friends and family.
Stint in armed forces is not just a job but a way of life. spending twenty plus years in an environment which dictates what you do and don't do, for the next ten years, day in day out, changes ones life, forever. It is not a typical nine to five job where you leave your work at the office. Practically you and your families live in your greater office, cantonments. where all and everything is military. It effects the thinking, mindset and the way one goes about living ones life.
IMHO for "Col Imam," and people like him, this became a problem -- how do you wind down from a life that you knew and nothing else for the last twenty or so years? How one undo that has been done?
I can only imagine the headiness of the Afghan Jihad -- and the feel of the win!!! The thrill of kicking a super powers' ***. The thought of the whole world behind you. The morality of a just cause. Being the "Imam" of thousands of young men --the power and authority over them, and to see the awe in their eyes -- the hope of being led to win...... One can only imagine -- stuff of legends, and dreams of many young aspiring men and officers in uniform.
Being there, was alone a big achievement but then rubbing shoulders with Who is Who of the Afghan war must have been..... a world of its own and it took its toll.
The challenge of winding down and a sense of loyalty to those who he trained, advised and in some cases led must have become a challenge for him. The adrenaline pump of the Jihad, the high of bringing the Great Bear down and the low of retirement must have been roller coaster ride. Commitment and zeal with which some of those who participated in the Jihad went beyond the call of duty or that of a job -- many of those who participated in it lost focus and sight of what is right and what is wrong -- and then a mix of a heavy dose of religion ...... things quickly became more confused. Borders of Nations became blurred, world politics seen from the eyes of greater Pan Islamism became more confused. And then the call for ever ongoing Jihad became too much.
I some times feel and imagine what it must have felt like for him when he came to know that this was the end --- the people he felt for, could die for, who he trained, and indoctrinated, and advised, turned upon him.........
"Col. Imam" soldier, SSG par excellence, stuff of legends, my salute to you - thank you! But alas in the end a misguided soul! And for this I can never forgive the instigators of this misguided "Jihad."