Chill Bangladesh Thread

[Bilal9]

This guy has a lot of promise as a comedian...

 

[PoondolotoPandalum]

Bhai, mon onik kharap

Met this girl few days ago. Same age as me (32), doctor, studied in Dhaka medical college, moved to the UK recently to work as a doctor. That level of brain and dedication are things i find super attractive in a women.

Sadly, she was too much of a damaged case. She had a 9 year relationship with a Hindu, including pre-marital sex (because she was one of those cinema romantic maya back then, so she said), and the Hindu ended up dumping her 3 years ago anyway. She said she’s not sure whether she can love anyone the same way again, but really wants to settle down and have children, because she can’t wait to be a mother.

Screwed up female logic

I had to end it. I was willing to accept her past if she acknowledged she committed major sin by Zina . But she wouldn’t. As far as she’s concerned, her only mistake was to fall in love with the wrong guy, and not the Zina itself. So screw her. I was also, of course, not prepared to go into a relationship with someone who can’t move on from the past. Which she clearly can’t

This is the fruit of Zina. Love, intimacy cease to have any meaning when you casualise the most intimate form of human relations.

But won’t lie. For some reason she still lives in my mind. I loved the way she talked in sweet Bangla. Honestly, I never felt I would’ve fallen that much for a Bengali girl before (i made a post about that here a while back). But she filled this void I never knew i had. We had, despite my limited bangla vocabulary, a linguistic bond.

I’ve sacrificed a lot in life to get to where I’m, so I can have a happy, stable marriage and raise children. Yet these are the sort of dysfunctional walking wrecks i end up attracting

Upsos bhai, upsos

 

[Avicenna]

Bhai, mon onik kharap

Met this girl few days ago. Same age as me (32), doctor, studied in Dhaka medical college, moved to the UK recently to work as a doctor. That level of brain and dedication are things i find super attractive in a women.

Sadly, she was too much of a damaged case. She had a 9 year relationship with a Hindu, including pre-marital sex (because she was one of those cinema romantic maya back then, so she said), and the Hindu ended up dumping her 3 years ago anyway. She said she’s not sure whether she can love anyone the same way again, but really wants to settle down and have children, because she can’t wait to be a mother.

Screwed up female logic

I had to end it. I was willing to accept her past if she acknowledged she committed major sin by Zina . But she wouldn’t. As far as she’s concerned, her only mistake was to fall in love with the wrong guy, and not the Zina itself. So screw her. I was also, of course, not prepared to go into a relationship with someone who can’t move on from the past. Which she clearly can’t

This is the fruit of Zina. Love, intimacy cease to have any meaning when you casualise the most intimate form of human relations.

But won’t lie. For some reason she still lives in my mind. I loved the way she talked in sweet Bangla. Honestly, I never felt I would’ve fallen that much for a Bengali girl before (i made a post about that here a while back). But she filled this void I never knew i had. We had, despite my limited bangla vocabulary, a linguistic bond.

I’ve sacrificed a lot in life to get to where I’m, so I can have a happy, stable marriage and raise children. Yet these are the sort of dysfunctional walking wrecks i end up attracting

Upsos bhai, upsos

Choose carefully my friend.

 

[UKBengali]

Bhai, mon onik kharap

Met this girl few days ago. Same age as me (32), doctor, studied in Dhaka medical college, moved to the UK recently to work as a doctor. That level of brain and dedication are things i find super attractive in a women.

Sadly, she was too much of a damaged case. She had a 9 year relationship with a Hindu, including pre-marital sex (because she was one of those cinema romantic maya back then, so she said), and the Hindu ended up dumping her 3 years ago anyway. She said she’s not sure whether she can love anyone the same way again, but really wants to settle down and have children, because she can’t wait to be a mother.

Screwed up female logic

I had to end it. I was willing to accept her past if she acknowledged she committed major sin by Zina . But she wouldn’t. As far as she’s concerned, her only mistake was to fall in love with the wrong guy, and not the Zina itself. So screw her. I was also, of course, not prepared to go into a relationship with someone who can’t move on from the past. Which she clearly can’t

This is the fruit of Zina. Love, intimacy cease to have any meaning when you casualise the most intimate form of human relations.

But won’t lie. For some reason she still lives in my mind. I loved the way she talked in sweet Bangla. Honestly, I never felt I would’ve fallen that much for a Bengali girl before (i made a post about that here a while back). But she filled this void I never knew i had. We had, despite my limited bangla vocabulary, a linguistic bond.

I’ve sacrificed a lot in life to get to where I’m, so I can have a happy, stable marriage and raise children. Yet these are the sort of dysfunctional walking wrecks i end up attracting

Upsos bhai, upsos

Let me give you some advice.

Try to marry a woman 5-10 years younger than you. If you are both the same age then she is too old for you.

In your case, as you are 32, you need to be looking at around 5 years younger as that would give you the perfect balance of maturity and youth.

 

[VikingRaider]

I was also, of course, not prepared to go into a relationship with someone

IMHO , I've no problem if anyone has past relationship , but I also wouldn't go into a relationship if she isn't ready to move on from past.

Life isn't melodrama , we can't stand on 2 boats!

So I appreciate your position!

But won’t lie. For some reason she still lives in my mind.

Try to move on , it's not that hard .You deserve more than this!

If I were you , simply I would stop all communication with her for few months . It always helpful if you want to move on, because the reality is , "Out of sight , out of mind" !

Best of luck! @PoondolotoPandalum

 

[Avicenna]

Bhai, mon onik kharap

Met this girl few days ago. Same age as me (32), doctor, studied in Dhaka medical college, moved to the UK recently to work as a doctor. That level of brain and dedication are things i find super attractive in a women.

Sadly, she was too much of a damaged case. She had a 9 year relationship with a Hindu, including pre-marital sex (because she was one of those cinema romantic maya back then, so she said), and the Hindu ended up dumping her 3 years ago anyway. She said she’s not sure whether she can love anyone the same way again, but really wants to settle down and have children, because she can’t wait to be a mother.

Screwed up female logic

I had to end it. I was willing to accept her past if she acknowledged she committed major sin by Zina . But she wouldn’t. As far as she’s concerned, her only mistake was to fall in love with the wrong guy, and not the Zina itself. So screw her. I was also, of course, not prepared to go into a relationship with someone who can’t move on from the past. Which she clearly can’t

This is the fruit of Zina. Love, intimacy cease to have any meaning when you casualise the most intimate form of human relations.

But won’t lie. For some reason she still lives in my mind. I loved the way she talked in sweet Bangla. Honestly, I never felt I would’ve fallen that much for a Bengali girl before (i made a post about that here a while back). But she filled this void I never knew i had. We had, despite my limited bangla vocabulary, a linguistic bond.

I’ve sacrificed a lot in life to get to where I’m, so I can have a happy, stable marriage and raise children. Yet these are the sort of dysfunctional walking wrecks i end up attracting

Upsos bhai, upsos

A couple of points to think about:

Whatever you are feeling now will pass. As down as you may be. It will get better.

You will at times think about this person even when you are married. It's just part of being human.

In this situation you described you absolulely dodged a bullet by sticking to your priniciples which I applaud.

You are a stronger man than most.

Whoever you end up with is (for better or worse from your limited persepctive) is part of the divine plan.

It is NOT easy out there. Women are a mess, And guys are no better.

Compromises will likely have to be made so its up to you to decide what you can or can not accept.

At the end of the day, long term day to day life and long term goals compatiblilty outweigh the short term "initial shine" factors.

Specifically, religous matters and finances are key.

As are how you treat each others familys and respect for things that matter to one another.

Intellectual compatibility is another overlooked thing.

Anyways, it seems you have a good head on your shoulders and the correct intentions.

Do your best to vet and choose and the rest is up to Allah.

In the interim, if you feel really emotionally down, I'm gonna suggest two pretty shallow things but they work.

Go to the gym and browse matrimonial websites.

Endorphins from the physical activity and the dopamine from the candy store will take your mind off of this girl.

 

[Bilal9]

Let me give you some advice.

Try to marry a woman 5-10 years younger than you. If you are both the same age then she is too old for you.

In your case, as you are 32, you need to be looking at around 5 years younger as that would give you the perfect balance of maturity and youth.

Exactly. 8-10 years difference is perfect. Women mature much quicker and they also age quicker physically than men. Please remember that.

At 32 you have at least 4~5 more years to find the perfect woman, but don't wait too long. 36~37 is the max I'd wait for the woman I'd spend the rest of my life with. When you have a kid - he/she will be 20 and you will be near 60. Then you can retire at 62 and enjoy your grandkids in a few years.

If she is 22-24 years of age and at least somewhat educated, then she is damn near perfect candidate for marriage and having offspring. If she had some light flirting mamato bhai/bon flings, a couple of dates, that is fine. But nothing as serious as what you describe, I mean this woman was in deep.

Why volunteer as a "goody two shoes" and take on her crap? She essentially consummated the physical relationship with some other guy - not knowing the extent to how he'd manipulate and take advantage of her. Her (bad) call and her deal.

I don't believe in all this fancy "accept my faults and I will accept yours" BS.

But like @Avicenna bhai said, avoid the damaged goods, she will find another damaged goods person and be happy.

Emotional Baggage are sometime unavoidable to bring into a relationship, but avoiding them (if you can, that is) is the best policy, fresh start for both people in a marriage is the best.

 

[VikingRaider]

don't mean to barge in guys
but I disagree with this assessment (somewhat) - I think women your age are the best women to live a married life with but only if you went to university with them or know them for a long time
I am newly married not as experienced as most yall but that's just what I feel, I don't think women your age should be dismissed outright and if you know them for a long time than that's the best "candidate" for marriage

My sister followed this channel but I started watching when they went to Pakistan- and it felt so much like me when you visit back home as a diaspora kid, weird sense of both belonging and not belonging at the same time- so started following her too (one of those guilty pleasures )
She married a couple of months ago and this seems to be the best couple I have seen in a long time, their chemistry is off the charts, they look gorgeous together, and one of those couples you feel the genuine positive energy just by watching them despite so many cultural differences and its all because they are the same age and knew each other since school days - you rarely see that when you are married to women much younger

maybe its internet filters- but I have a good thing with judging people, (especially if you see more candid moments) and this seems genuine ah - makes me feel so happy for em
and I dont think their chemistry would have been as good if they were marrying younger woman or older man for her

Very nicely explained man. Just the problem is such couples are hard to find.

Same aged woman later want to dominate husband, as a result husband is screwed up.

However few are exceptions though. Not sure about the reality of Pakistan, but lot of Bangladeshi women are becoming like this.

Maybe the side effect of Indian TV series where they teach nothing but dirty family politics and extra marital affairs.

 

[Maula Jatt]

Very nicely explained man. Just the problem is such couples are hard to find.

Same aged woman later want to dominate husband, as a result husband is screwed up.

However few are exceptions though. Not sure about the reality of Pakistan, but lot of Bangladeshi women are becoming like this.

Maybe the side effect of Indian TV series where they teach nothing but dirty family politics and extra marital affairs.

Women after minimum 10 years of marriage always dominate - doesn't matter the age difference
Unless man is particularly macho/a-hole

 

[Bilal9]

Look at how cow dung ingredients for ghee is being hidden.

Don't buy Indian groceries...unless you want to consume cow-dung !!

Communist Govt in Kerala removes ingredients list and benefits of 'panchagavya gritham' from Oushadhi website - The Commune

Oushadhi, the ayurvedic medicine company run by the government of Kerala, has taken down the ingredients list and the benefits of Panchagavya Gritham that was present on their website. This…

thecommunemag.com

Kerala govt selling ayurvedic medicine made from cow urine, cow dung

This move of the Kerala government has caught the attention of social media

www.deccanherald.com

 

[Bilal9]

 

[VikingRaider]

Look at how cow dung ingredients for ghee is being hidden.

Don't buy Indian groceries...unless you want to consume cow-dung !!

Communist Govt in Kerala removes ingredients list and benefits of 'panchagavya gritham' from Oushadhi website - The Commune

Oushadhi, the ayurvedic medicine company run by the government of Kerala, has taken down the ingredients list and the benefits of Panchagavya Gritham that was present on their website. This…

thecommunemag.com

Kerala govt selling ayurvedic medicine made from cow urine, cow dung

This move of the Kerala government has caught the attention of social media

www.deccanherald.com

শালারা খবিশের বাচ্চা খবিশ!

 

[Joe Shearer]

আজি হতে শতবর্ষ পরে
কে তুমি পড়িছ বসি আমার কবিতাখানি
কৌতূহলভরে
আজি হতে শতবর্ষ পরে।
আজি নববসন্তের প্রভাতের আনন্দের
লেশমাত্র ভাগ
আজিকার কোনো ফুল, বিহঙ্গের কোনো গান,
আজিকার কোনো রক্তরাগ
অনুরাগে সিক্ত করি পারিব না পাঠাইতে
তোমাদের করে
আজি হতে শতবর্ষ পরে।

তবু তুমি একবার খুলিয়া দক্ষিণদ্বার
বসি বাতায়নে
সুদূর দিগন্তে চাহি কল্পনায় অবগাহি
ভেবে দেখো মনে
একদিন শতবর্ষ আগে
চঞ্চল পুলকরাশি কোন্ স্বর্গ হতে ভাসি
নিখিলের মর্মে আসি লাগে
নবীন ফাল্গুনদিন সকল বন্ধনহীন
উন্মত্ত অধীর
উড়ায়ে চঞ্চল পাখা পুষ্পরেণুগন্ধমাখা
দক্ষিণসমীর
সহসা আসিয়া ত্বরা রাঙায়ে দিয়েছে ধরা
যৌবনের রাগে
তোমাদের শতবর্ষ আগে।
সেদিন উতলা প্রাণে, হৃদয় মগন গানে,
কবি এক জাগে
কত কথা পুষ্পপ্রায় বিকশি তুলিতে চায়
কত অনুরাগে
একদিন শতবর্ষ আগে।
আজি হতে শতবর্ষ পরে
এখন করিছে গান সে কোন্ নূতন কবি
তোমাদের ঘরে?
আজিকার বসন্তের আনন্দ-অভিবাদন

 

[VikingRaider]

আজি হতে শতবর্ষ পরে
কে তুমি পড়িছ বসি আমার কবিতাখানি
কৌতূহলভরে
আজি হতে শতবর্ষ পরে।
আজি নববসন্তের প্রভাতের আনন্দের
লেশমাত্র ভাগ
আজিকার কোনো ফুল, বিহঙ্গের কোনো গান,
আজিকার কোনো রক্তরাগ
অনুরাগে সিক্ত করি পারিব না পাঠাইতে
তোমাদের করে
আজি হতে শতবর্ষ পরে।

তবু তুমি একবার খুলিয়া দক্ষিণদ্বার
বসি বাতায়নে
সুদূর দিগন্তে চাহি কল্পনায় অবগাহি
ভেবে দেখো মনে
একদিন শতবর্ষ আগে
চঞ্চল পুলকরাশি কোন্ স্বর্গ হতে ভাসি
নিখিলের মর্মে আসি লাগে
নবীন ফাল্গুনদিন সকল বন্ধনহীন
উন্মত্ত অধীর
উড়ায়ে চঞ্চল পাখা পুষ্পরেণুগন্ধমাখা
দক্ষিণসমীর
সহসা আসিয়া ত্বরা রাঙায়ে দিয়েছে ধরা
যৌবনের রাগে
তোমাদের শতবর্ষ আগে।
সেদিন উতলা প্রাণে, হৃদয় মগন গানে,
কবি এক জাগে
কত কথা পুষ্পপ্রায় বিকশি তুলিতে চায়
কত অনুরাগে
একদিন শতবর্ষ আগে।
আজি হতে শতবর্ষ পরে
এখন করিছে গান সে কোন্ নূতন কবি
তোমাদের ঘরে?
আজিকার বসন্তের আনন্দ-অভিবাদন

আমার অসম্ভব প্রিয় কিছু কবিতার একটা এটা @Joe Shearer দাদা। আসলে রবী ঠাকুরের কোন জুড়ি নেই। তিনি অতুলনীয়! ধন্যবাদ পোষ্ট করার জন্য!

বি.দ্র. সেঁজুতি কাব্যগ্রন্থের পরিচয় কবিতাটি আপনার কেমন লাগে দাদা?

 

[Joe Shearer]

আমার অসম্ভব প্রিয় কিছু কবিতার একটা এটা @Joe Shearer দাদা। আসলে রবী ঠাকুরের কোন জুড়ি নেই। তিনি অতুলনীয়! ধন্যবাদ পোষ্ট করার জন্য!

তাতে কোনো সন্দেহ নেই। আমি নিজে নজরুলের ভক্ত, কিন্তু মাঝে মধ্যে বুড়ো এমন ভাবে মন মেজাজটা আঁকড়ে ধরেন যে মাথায় আর কিছু থাকে না।
গতকাল উনার বাংলা তারিখের জন্মদিন-তো।

বি.দ্র. সেঁজুতি কাব্যগ্রন্থের পরিচয় কবিতাটি আপনার কেমন লাগে দাদা?