Arranged Marriages vs. Girlfriend/Boyfriend western culture

[MultaniGuy]

Personally I think Arranged Marriage is better than Girlfriend/Boyfriend bullshyt.

Your views?

 

[313ghazi]

As long as you remains in the boundary of halal - there is no single perfect way for everyone. Each has benefits and drawbacks.

Consent is key.

 

[MultaniGuy]

As long as you remains in the boundary of halal - there is no single perfect way for everyone. Each has benefits and drawbacks.

Consent is key.

My Shaadi will be arranged by my Ammi.

 

[AUz]

Anything halal is by default superior to Haraam. There is no discussion about it.

Arrange marriage is halal but not forced marriage. Many people confuse the two (many a times, on purpose lol). Gf-bf culture is just male exploitation of women without taking any responsibility. In US, I know so many of my college mates who were f*cked by multiple guys and were left randomly after they were done with them Feminists in Pakistan (aurat march lot) want the same for our girls because they have been ran through men and are insanely jealous of girls who get the respect and love of marriage from men.

Sorry for being crass....but all of us men know that if a girl is down to suck our D rather easily, she is not someone we'd ever marry or even respect. It is what it is.

But at the same time, I do think there is a slight double standard here because guys who engaged in Haraam are not insulted/bullied/called out enough compared to girls. We should change that

 

[EasyNow]

My Shaadi will be arranged by my Ammi.

Oh buddy, we all thought life would be so simple. Finish studies by 21, good job by 23, married by 25.

Out of my close friends, nearly half got married at 30 plus (having rejected several proposals), 2 got divorced, 2 got married at 22 and had several children by the time others got married.

And all of them moan about their married life one way or other

 

[Pak-Canuck]

I've seen it all, marriages by love or by arranged, and mid-20's, 30's, and even teens, different countries, education levels, yada yada yada. You know what was the most striking thing, there were very SUCCESSFUL marriages and terrible FAILED marriages in EACH one of those categories. Biggest thing in all this that most people don't realize when deciding, nothing is a guarantee for anyone, and for every person a different type of case will apply and be suitable. Whatever the case or situation is, go with it having properly thought about everything and most important of all, full communication of expectations of future life between both parties should be conveyed.

 

[NAVDEEP DHALIWAL]

Love marriages are very common now this side.
3 of my friends had affairs so they found relatives willing to help and those relatives brought Rishta , so in parents eyes ie was an arranged marriage as they saw good qualities tb grey were looking for. Others had mixed arranged and love marriages.

But after looking at their lives all of us had very similar disputes , fights problems etc.
So it doesn't matter if u marry in gurdwara masjid or temple. Love or arranged,
If u can't balance wife side and parents side , ur f#kd anyway.

 

[Titanium100]

Never experienced arranged so can't comment on that..

I have been active in the dating scene some have been beneficial and others not but mann do we lose our values when we live overseas or born overseas etc etc or grow up overseas from young age. I now stopped drinking but it was normal in my environment to drink etc etc. We tend to lose our values quick when we are overseas but either way one should always try to comeback and better himself and try to become the best version of himself and the best man he can become for the community and his family

 

[jamesisi]

Buddy I went to Pakistan and met this innocent girl when my sister attended the clinic while we were on holiday.I loved her caramel skin and her shyness following that encounter I told my sis to get more info about the girl and that I wanted her to be my wife.My sister gave green light after speaking with her , I got her mobile number from my sis and I came back to the uk.Six months later I went back with my parents and got married with her ,, Everything was fine and got her immigrated to uk with me .
She began to show her real self slowly coming out of her shyness, innocence and her immaturity.She would ask for expensive clothes and food in the restaurants ,travelling and expensive jewellery eg gold bengals .Expensive mobile phones.
She would argue with me and wanted me to spend more time with her away from my own family..we have had children during this time ,I know for sure I always respected women folks never ever had a argument with them.
Well this is the first time a woman was arguing with me most of the time as she had bad attitude (nakera) .
I am still married as I didn’t want my children to feel that it was my fault she has calmed down a bit but still gets me under pressure now and than..
I believe I was destined for this type of woman so just to continue my life for the sake of my children .

The western womenfolk never have any issues as long as you both work and play on the same level.They don’t desire expensive jewels they only need respect and sharing of everything.
In the end every one is different where I grew up in uk I had my education here and never was materialistic , always being down to earth person type..

Warnings guys if you gonna merry a Pakistani girl think twice ..you may not live to tell the story!!!
on the lighter note I love my kids they superb Alhamdillallah .

 

[ARMalik]

Personally I think Arranged Marriage is better than Girlfriend/Boyfriend bullshyt.

Your views?
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Obviously, your Religion and your culture was far away from your mind when you were opening a garbage thread like this??? I would be absolutely shocked if you even know a dime about your religion because if you knew anything, you would get your answer in 1-second.

 

[tower9]

Everyone should have the choice and free will to determine who they want to marry. They may make mistakes, but that's part of life. Usually in cultures that practice arranged marriage, people are forced to stay in an unhappy or abusive relationship and that is living hell.

 

[MultaniGuy]

Haha I enjoyed reading about these social issues.

Personally my marriage will be arranged by my mother. She already has plans.

Obviously, your Religion and your culture was far away from your mind when you were opening a garbage thread like this??? I would be absolutely shocked if you even know a dime about your religion because if you knew anything, you would get your answer in 1-second.

Oh, I know quite a bit about Islam.

 

[MultaniGuy]

Anything halal is by default superior to Haraam. There is no discussion about it.

Arrange marriage is halal but not forced marriage. Many people confuse the two (many a times, on purpose lol). Gf-bf culture is just male exploitation of women without taking any responsibility. In US, I know so many of my college mates who were f*cked by multiple guys and were left randomly after they were done with them Feminists in Pakistan (aurat march lot) want the same for our girls because they have been ran through men and are insanely jealous of girls who get the respect and love of marriage from men.

Sorry for being crass....but all of us men know that if a girl is down to suck our D rather easily, she is not someone we'd ever marry or even respect. It is what it is.

But at the same time, I do think there is a slight double standard here because guys who engaged in Haraam are not insulted/bullied/called out enough compared to girls. We should change that

Haha, I agree with you!

Oh buddy, we all thought life would be so simple. Finish studies by 21, good job by 23, married by 25.

Out of my close friends, nearly half got married at 30 plus (having rejected several proposals), 2 got divorced, 2 got married at 22 and had several children by the time others got married.

And all of them moan about their married life one way or other

Yeah that is how our families think in our part of the world.

But in the West it is completely different.

People work part-time and study part-time.

 

[MultaniGuy]

Everyone should have the choice and free will to determine who they want to marry. They may make mistakes, but that's part of life. Usually in cultures that practice arranged marriage, people are forced to stay in an unhappy or abusive relationship and that is living hell.

Ofcourse, everyone is against "Forced marriage."

It is just that in Muslim societies, having a girlfriend is frowned upon.
So we have arranged marriages instead where parents are involved in making the marriage. They look for the girl, then they ask the boy if they agree with marriage to the girl. the boy has the right to say no to it, if he doesn't like it.

But stupid people in the west confuse "arranged marriages" and "forced marriages" on purpose.

If your parents think the girl is good for your son, she is "religious", "well-educated", "beautiful", then obviously you should agree with it. Since your parents have the life experience and the wisdom. A good child should obey their parents.

But in the West people have girlfriends, then they have illegitimate children and inappropriate behavior that the daughter's father may not approve of.

 

[tower9]

Ofcourse, everyone is against "Forced marriage."

It is just that in Muslim societies, having a girlfriend is frowned upon.
So we have arranged marriages instead where parents are involved in making the marriage. They look for the girl, then they ask the boy if they agree with marriage to the girl. the boy has the right to say no to it, if he doesn't like it.

But stupid people in the west confuse "arranged marriages" and "forced marriages" on purpose.

If your parents think the girl is good for your son, she is "religious", "well-educated", "beautiful", then obviously you should agree with it. Since your parents have the life experience and the wisdom. A good child should obey their parents.

But in the West people have girlfriends, then they have illegitimate children and inappropriate behavior that the daughter's father may not approve of.

I still think it's a lot healthier to be able to date independently. Of course every society has its own standards. An arranged marriage would feel very strange to me, I'd definitely want to be able to make my own way.