A woman who was rejected 40 times

[SQ8]

Not to forget Marrying Cousins because Larka Green Card holder hai Bhaiya becomes Saeeyan overnight. Thank God I didn't fall for that

Yes - unfortunately cousin marriages have a lot of old school pagan cultural customs involved in it regarding wealth protection and racism.

 

[Ahmet Pasha]

Jis ki shadi jaisy ho, kerly. Specially ager aapki job hai or aap 30 k aas pass hojain, tu aagay berh ker khud larky ya larki se poch lain, koi bat nai. Ham sb insan hain.
The line should be : main aap main interested hon, or shadi ki kerna chahta/chahti hon. Ager aapko koi aitraz na hoto ammi/abbu/bhai/behen/dost/parosi/masjid k imam/boss ya kisi bhi zimmadar ko bhejon aapky ghar?
Aisi teesi dunya ki.

I love you brother. We need more desi uncles with your mindset in masjids and fathers of daughters. PLEASE!!!!

 

[Goritoes]

Yes - unfortunately cousin marriages have a lot of old school pagan cultural customs involved in it regarding wealth protection and racism.

some families are genuinely afraid to bring to the " wrong " women in-home, that is where Chahe Mammy and Tayya ki beti comes in, little did they know that in most of the cases, its ghar ka bhedi lanka daye kinda situation. Within my family 2 of my cousins were about to get married, they were in a secret relationship for over 2 years, when times comes and both parties declare things went smooth until the Guys mom start putting strict rules over her soon to be daughter in law even before she comes to their home. The result in the marriage was called off some 10-12 days before the ceremony over the stupidest argument ever, boy's family wants a marriage where men and women sit separately but girls mom doesn't want that, that was the final nail in the coffin.

 

[fitpOsitive]

I love you brother. We need more desi uncles with your mindset in masjids and fathers of daughters. PLEASE!!!!

Jab abbu ammi ko khayal na aaraha hoto khud se unko yad kerwain... In Sha Allah afaqa hoga pehli hi khuraq main.

 

[waz]

In arrange marriage ofcourse ones who haven't seen you before will be looking at your face, talking style, walking ,manners etc
So basically this lady is saying we all should reject arrange marriage and opt for a love marriage instead?

Love marriages are the norm here now bro with the UK Pakistani community. I can't recall going to an "arranged" one in many, many years. Every marriage I hear of is boy met girl at uni, work etc.

 

[Great Janjua]

Who gives a flip be it arrange marriage or love marriage.Marriage should be done with the both parties consent.... it's not a bloody math equation.

Yes however in an arrange marriage its essential to take the opinion of the boy and the girl also both the genders should be given some time for a private conversation between the two for an better outcome of a yes or an no answer

 

[SQ8]

some families are genuinely afraid to bring to the " wrong " women in-home, that is where Chahe Mammy and Tayya ki beti comes in, little did they know that in most of the cases, its ghar ka bhedi lanka daye kinda situation. Within my family 2 of my cousins were about to get married, they were in a secret relationship for over 2 years, when times comes and both parties declare things went smooth until the Guys mom start putting strict rules over her soon to be daughter in law even before she comes to their home. The result in the marriage was called off some 10-12 days before the ceremony over the stupidest argument ever, boy's family wants a marriage where men and women sit separately but girls mom doesn't want that, that was the final nail in the coffin.

Again, old archaic rules and strict control of parents over kids lives. The result is a constant immortality cycle where the focus of Pakistanis is to only make babies so that family lives on.

Children and Parents are part of the animal cycle - but the idea that a kid is the parents only reason for existence or that the parents raise it due to expectations later in life is what all these play it safe Khandani concepts come from.

Lets be clear, family backgrounds and values are extremely important; but racism or bigotry based upon caste or creed without considering good and bad seeds being everywhere is archaic mentality.

A lot of early Islam also involved inter-marriages between tribes,races and so on. The result of which was that Islamic values where inculcated, amalgamated into the culture they came un contact with.

Now look at Pakistani society - ethnicities dont intermarry because they are so inflexible in cultural trade that they isolate down to caste. At the end, unless its a very urban elite setting ;ethnicities always look for their own extended families or castes.
The result , Pakistanis have no idea of the other ethnicities and generally hate each other’s guts to the point of economic genocide. PDF has thousands of threads to demonstrate that.

 

[Goritoes]

Again, old archaic rules and strict control of parents over kids lives. The result is a constant immortality cycle where the focus of Pakistanis is to only make babies so that family lives on.

Children and Parents are part of the animal cycle - but the idea that a kid is the parents only reason for existence or that the parents raise it due to expectations later in life is what all these play it safe Khandani concepts come from.

Lets be clear, family backgrounds and values are extremely important; but racism or bigotry based upon caste or creed without considering good and bad seeds being everywhere is archaic mentality.

A lot of early Islam also involved inter-marriages between tribes,races and so on. The result of which was that Islamic values where inculcated, amalgamated into the culture they came un contact with.

Now look at Pakistani society - ethnicities dont intermarry because they are so inflexible in cultural trade that they isolate down to caste. At the end, unless its a very urban elite setting ;ethnicities always look for their own extended families or castes.
The result , Pakistanis have no idea of the other ethnicities and generally hate each other’s guts to the point of economic genocide. PDF has thousands of threads to demonstrate that.

Nicely put and well said, And the sad thing is this culture is not going anywhere anytime soon, just a quick search on PDF itself shows the self-praise of one's culture or ethnicity like they are the grandson of Gengis Khan himself, this is worse in the so-called Syed's.

 

[Last starfighter]

So much false narratives in this video. Kisi phati hui jeans aur T-shirt wale larke ki bhi shadi nhi hoti unless k us ka baap karor-pati ho. Also I have seen parents don't allow the potential groom to meet their daughter then on what parameters a person will judge beside looks?

But coming from BBC what can you expect.

What do you define as "Love Marriage"?

Dates, spending night's ,love ,sex then pregnant and then maybe marriage

 

[Qmjd]

Again, old archaic rules and strict control of parents over kids lives. The result is a constant immortality cycle where the focus of Pakistanis is to only make babies so that family lives on.

Children and Parents are part of the animal cycle - but the idea that a kid is the parents only reason for existence or that the parents raise it due to expectations later in life is what all these play it safe Khandani concepts come from.

Lets be clear, family backgrounds and values are extremely important; but racism or bigotry based upon caste or creed without considering good and bad seeds being everywhere is archaic mentality.

A lot of early Islam also involved inter-marriages between tribes,races and so on. The result of which was that Islamic values where inculcated, amalgamated into the culture they came un contact with.

Now look at Pakistani society - ethnicities dont intermarry because they are so inflexible in cultural trade that they isolate down to caste. At the end, unless its a very urban elite setting ;ethnicities always look for their own extended families or castes.
The result , Pakistanis have no idea of the other ethnicities and generally hate each other’s guts to the point of economic genocide. PDF has thousands of threads to demonstrate that.

Merriage is about raising your children with you partner be it love merraige , arrange.
Even the gay or lesbian adopting the children.
Physoc,s are needed doctor not social platform

 

[khail007]

Such happening may be one in million and not specific to gender, it happened to both; though in this case the numbers are significantly higher. Many males are also rejected due to one reason or another, prime reasons are low income/low education/outlook is not handsome.
IMO we should not take such cases on gender basis but becoming norm in our whole society.

 

[fitpOsitive]

Such happening may be one in million and not specific to gender, it happened to both; though in this case the numbers are significantly higher. Many males are also rejected due to one reason or another, prime reasons are low income/low education/outlook is not handsome.
IMO we should not take such cases on gender basis but becoming norm in our whole society.

Indeed it was one sided story.

 

[Iltutmish]

Love marriage means skyrocket divorces and clueless children's

Things are not that easy brother.

I have seen married couples breaking up after 40 years of marriage having 5 kids because of the most trivial things. A turkish grandfather divorcing his wife because she didn't give him money for the car of his cousin back in Turkey and stuff like that (arranged marriage).

One of my colleagues was married to his school crush knowing each other since 6th grade or so. The marriage lasted 12 months and they filed for divorce 2 weeks after their daughter was born (love marriage).

On the ohter hand I know people who married after having an "accident" (i. e. baby on the way) in their late teens who are still togehter (late 40ies now).

And yes, my parents also had an arranged marriage (there is a big difference between arranged and forced!). 35 years and couting alhamdulillah .

The divorce stats in the West are crazy, literally everbody I know was either divorced or had multiple partners in his life time. The thing is maybe many couples are only together for "logh kya kahe ghe" or because one partner depends on the other, but in the West you have the state as sugar daddy. Relationships are just products of the throwaway society (I like that word, because it's so true). You have your first minor crisis (emphasis is on minor not domestic abuse and stuff like that)? Divorce and break-up it is! Alimony will be paid by my partner and if not the state will provide for me. No need to fix anything and create a stable society. Stable societies depend on stable families. That's a fact. You can check the stats to that. The state subsidizes such toxic immature behaviour with lots of tax payer money.

And nobody cares about the kids. In German we have word for those kids: "Scheidungswaise" ("Scheidung" meaning divorce and "Waise" meaning orphan).

Our Deen teaches us how to be good husbands and wives, how to conduct marriage and other simple rules in regards to that. Islam is not about gender segregation, most of our traditions come from old pagan rituals and Islam came to bury those rituals!

I am not into romantic facebook post, but I really liked that one :

May Allah help us all to find a rightous spouse and may he grant all of us a happy marriage life who already found the one

 

[Iltutmish]

Love marriages are the norm here now bro with the UK Pakistani community. I can't recall going to an "arranged" one in many, many years. Every marriage I hear of is boy met girl at uni, work etc.

Alhamdulillah. Pakistanis need to start marrying each other and not only their first cousins. There is no shame in that. Our Prophet (PBUH) married also the love of his life Khadija (RA).

That's so beautiful

 

[waz]

Alhamdulillah. Pakistanis need to start marrying each other and not only their first cousins. There is no shame in that. Our Prophet (PBUH) married also the love of his life Khadija (RA).

View attachment 710878

That's so beautiful

Love that hadith bro, ah our mother Khadija.
Indeed, we are fast breaking from all this. Ethnic groups are intermarrying, we are establishing stronger ties with one another as a collective.