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A woman who was rejected 40 times

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The metric used in Pakistan for marriages historically is flawed. Moreover, the trend today is moving towards “love” or rather attraction and compatibility based arranged marriages. They are no longer the taboo unless there is something really off with one or the other partner.
“Arranged” marriages too have moved on in urban areas from the must marry this guy because of so and so social reasons to girls talking to potential suitors and vice versa before deciding to go ahead - it is a fairly good trend.

Additionally, the typical age of 30’s for men and 20’s for women is being abandoned to co-age groups and earlier marriages as well which gives time to the couple to really settle in instead of under pressure to reproduce immediately.
 
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The metric used in Pakistan for marriages historically is flawed. Moreover, the trend today is moving towards “love” or rather attraction and compatibility based arranged marriages. They are no longer the taboo unless there is something really off with one or the other partner.
“Arranged” marriages too have moved on in urban areas from the must marry this guy because of so and so social reasons to girls talking to potential suitors and vice versa before deciding to go ahead - it is a fairly good trend.

Additionally, the typical age of 30’s for men and 20’s for women is being abandoned to co-age groups and earlier marriages as well which gives time to the couple to really settle in instead of under pressure to reproduce immediately.
Love marriage means skyrocket divorces and clueless children's
 
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In arrange marriage ofcourse ones who haven't seen you before will be looking at your face, talking style, walking ,manners etc
So basically this lady is saying we all should reject arrange marriage and opt for a love marriage instead?

So much false narratives in this video. Kisi phati hui jeans aur T-shirt wale larke ki bhi shadi nhi hoti unless k us ka baap karor-pati ho. Also I have seen parents don't allow the potential groom to meet their daughter then on what parameters a person will judge beside looks?

But coming from BBC what can you expect.
Love marriage means skyrocket divorces and clueless children's
What do you define as "Love Marriage"?
 
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Jis ki shadi jaisy ho, kerly. Specially ager aapki job hai or aap 30 k aas pass hojain, tu aagay berh ker khud larky ya larki se poch lain, koi bat nai. Ham sb insan hain.
The line should be : main aap main interested hon, or shadi kerna chahta/chahti hon. Ager aapko koi aitraz na hoto ammi/abbu/bhai/behen/dost/parosi/masjid k imam/boss ya kisi bhi zimmadar ko bhejon aapky ghar?
Aisi teesi dunya ki.
 
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Jis ki shadi jaisy ho, kerly. Specially ager aapki job hai or aap 30 k aas pass hojain, tu aagay berh ker khud larky ya larki se poch lain, koi bat nai. Ham sb insan hain.
The line should be : main aap main interested hon, or shadi ki kerna chahta/chahti hon. Ager aapko koi aitraz na hoto ammi/abbu/bhai/behen/dost/parosi/masjid k imam/boss ya kisi bhi zimmadar ko bhejon aapky ghar?
Aisi teesi dunya ki.
But for that to happen there should be normalized interaction between opposite genders. Unfortunately our society is so much gender segregated.
 
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We need to be less backward with our approach to marriage. Too many people fixated on finance, biradari, sect - sometimes you think people are looking for mini-me's.

People who are interested in marriage should approach the invidual or their family. They should meet in the presence of a third party or in a public place, discuss whatever they want to discuss, get to know each other and then decide to get married.

If you are interested in getting married you should have a criteria of what you want in a partner and if someone doesn't match it, you should ask for their viewpoint so you can consider it as part of a review of your own criteria.

Finances matter, but if your aim is to marry into wealth, then you are selfish. You should consider if you are happy in a marriage with the likely financial lifestyle you will have with your partner, not aspirational ones, but also not gold digging either.

A lot of people want educated spouses but you must consider why. Do you want intellectual debate or do you want a "My Wife is a Doctor" trophy?

similarly, family background matters - you marry a family, not just a man/woman. You will attend events with these people, your children will mix with them, they will influence values, customs, behaviours in your household. Get to know the family too. Most so called love marriages fail, because Romeo and Juliet don't care about the beef between the Montegue and the Capulet families. In real life it matters; if your families background/values cross red lines for your partner, its extremly difficult on a relationship. At the same time you need to be flexible, look at your own flaws too.
 
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In arrange marriage ofcourse ones who haven't seen you before will be looking at your face, talking style, walking ,manners etc
So basically this lady is saying we all should reject arrange marriage and opt for a love marriage instead?


I love people with independent minds, especially when they are Pakistani.
Bless her.
 
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In arrange marriage ofcourse ones who haven't seen you before will be looking at your face, talking style, walking ,manners etc
So basically this lady is saying we all should reject arrange marriage and opt for a love marriage instead?

Yar mere experience me to kuch ulta hi hua hai. Granted my parents only asked one family so far. I'm not very worried about it. Trying to stay positive.
 
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The metric used in Pakistan for marriages historically is flawed. Moreover, the trend today is moving towards “love” or rather attraction and compatibility based arranged marriages. They are no longer the taboo unless there is something really off with one or the other partner.
“Arranged” marriages too have moved on in urban areas from the must marry this guy because of so and so social reasons to girls talking to potential suitors and vice versa before deciding to go ahead - it is a fairly good trend.

Additionally, the typical age of 30’s for men and 20’s for women is being abandoned to co-age groups and earlier marriages as well which gives time to the couple to really settle in instead of under pressure to reproduce immediately.

Not to forget Marrying Cousins because Larka Green Card holder hai :usflag:Bhaiya becomes Saeeyan overnight. Thank God I didn't fall for that :bounce:
 
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