Greetings everyone, I know a lot of you must have read one of my posts regarding my marriage to a American Girl , some people feel irritated by such posts and some of the people here wants me to share our story , from the very start of our friendship later turned in to a relationship and than Marriage . so Lets dive right into it without wasting much time .
It all started some 4 years ago when I was learning German Language on a Website called Livemocha.com , some of you might have heard of it , its a wonderful site for language learning i highly recommend it, so one day i come across this girl name Indigo(something) , she have a display picture of her own using various color wigs, her profile does not have much details except for one thing which was very Obvious that she is a hardcore Feminist . Normally i don't talk to such girls cause based on past experiences i know conversations with them never end good . but somehow I responded to a exercise posted by her on the site , and that is how we first communicated , she respond to me and i posted a exercise for her which she completed , and later we started chatting there using messaging service . Upon learning that I am from Pakistan and Muslim , she started to ask more questions regarding my culture and religion , and based on her question i realized that she has been fed a whole lot of BS by Media and other people . As our conversations takes more interesting turns we start using Skype together , and later after been feeling comfortable we started Voice calls and very quickly we become good friends .
Now I am skipping a lot of things and Fast forwarding to when we become good enough friends to share some of our experiences of Life, and past . And within a year we become Good friends , than I remember her asking me if i am dating someone at the moment , and yes I was dating a girl and I once invite her and my GF to a skype conference call , I am sure you all can understand how Awkward that might be for me ( Gf and future Wife ) haha , upon ending that conversation she told me that my Gf is not treating me well ( wont go in detail what happen in the call ) and she convinced me that I deserved better in life , later that week me and my gf break up , and we both go back to discussing our stuff .
One day she asked me that If I as a Muslim are allowed to Marry a Non Muslim girl , and I said yes but as long as she is from the Abrahamic Religions ( Islam/Christianity/Judaism ) but I also told her that I have 3 major conditions, if any Non Muslim girl wants to marry me she must agree to fulfill my 3 conditions which are as follow :
1) No more Bikini and exposing clothes
2) No More Pork and Alcohol
3) If I have kids with her, I want them to be raised as Muslims
After this 3 conditions than she rarely talk about it, maybe because she thinks that my preconditions are too much and arrogant in nature , but upon talking almost daily for hours and exchanging few Gifts via mail we finally started dating , First I thought it might never get too serious as Long Distance relationships hardly work let alone turned into marriages, I also knew that I am not that Rich so Spending money on her to convince her to marry me will not work as well ,Marriage was too much for us right now as I recently finished my MBA and looking for a JOB and she was just a 20 year old girl , in America girls normally get married in late 20's .but than after some time my 3 conditions become highlight to our conversations, So far I haven't introduced her to my family as my Girlfriend . She keep trying to convince me to reconsider my Point 1 about the Bikini and exposing clothes part which i wasn't going to allow for my wife .
She wasn't pretty acceptable towards Point number 1 as she is very hard core Feminist , and I had to explain her why I think like that , and some how she later become convinced with my reasoning . Rest of the other points were easy as she wasn't a good Christian and She don't eat pork nor drink Alcohol . We used to make jokes if we ended up marrying it will be easy for us to live together as we seems pretty compatible , and so one day this joking turn into a serious discussion by her actually asking me if she wants to marry me will I accept her? and what will my family think about her? she wants to know if i wanted to marry her or not as well . And I reply Which any other sensible Pakistani would , I say Yeah Lets do it
upon Agreeing to get married we started the process of her getting the Passport, she never been outside America so she doesn't have her Passport , after getting her that we start looking for ways to apply for her Visa to Pakistan, while I was figuring that out , she was working at Walmart and saving up for money to buy her Ticket , and Once we both are set up we applied for Pakistani visa, and in August 2017 she finally came to Pakistan .
Now lets take a step back, I think its fair to share some of the things here which happen during her way to Pakistan . Her father dropped her at the nearest Bus station ( Idiot didn't even take her daughter to Air port ) and from there she took the bus , at the Station she met a Indian girl who upon learning that she is going to Pakistan to marry her Boyfriend, that Indian lady try her best to stop her , fed her all sort of BS to her about Pakistan that its dangerous and all but my wife show this Indian lady a middle finger and she continue her journey to Pakistan . Here I should mention that her Grandparents who actually care about her thinks that I am some ISIS guy who will kidnap her and , after marrying her sell her into sex slavery . Allah Ho Akber
Anyway, thanks to my wife and her excitement of coming to me she bought a Ticket which has a 11 hour stay in Abu Dhabi , where some People try to talk to her , she describe them as dark looking Asians but she never respond to them so I don't know if they were Pakistani or Indians or Sri Lankan or Bangladeshi's ,upon waiting at Abu Dhabi Air port she claim to be annoyed by Philippino girls who wants to take selfie with her but she refused . and She finally took the flight to Karachi . Here in Karachi was too nervous and excited to see her , also worried cause she was my responsibility as long as she is here , When she landed in Karachi , she was crowded by Custom Officers asking her if she owns a TV and she wants to take it with her , they were asking for Bribe , Anyone coming from UAE knows what i am talking about . but Thankfully I have some relatives working in Air port they took her straight to Immigration and she finally came out of waiting area . Upon seeing each other first time after knowing each other for nearly 3-4 years was a delightful feeling, we shake hands and greet each other by " Asalaamu Alikum " as she already learned that before coming here , I welcome her to Pakistan, and as soon as she saw my Mother , she hug her by saying Asalaamu alikum Ammi ( I call my mother Ammi ) , they hug each other and my father give her blessings and we move on to our home .
Fast Forwarding to my marriage day, we went to Session court in II Chundigar road , we hire a lawyer and , the lawyer took her inside a chamber where there was a magistrate , Police Officer and a Imam , upon asking her in very poor English if she here with to marry out of her freewill , she said yes and also show the magistrate a Certificate of Free will to marry , upon confirming this , the Imam ask me If she knows that She will recite Kalma or not ? I said she will than he ask me if she is Willing ? I told them yes she is , than they ask me to Leave them room , and ask her that If anyone is forcing her to do so , she said she is doing out of her free will but she also insisted that she wants to recite Kalma by me , so Imam call me and my father in , and than he give me permission to read Kalima , but before that , Imam ask me to tell her in English , that as she belongs to Christianity she doesn't have to Convert to Islam to marry me , She can still marry me by keeping her faith , I translated that to her she nodded that she understand than finally I recite the Kalima first she follows, than I made her read in English as well , I wont lie but it was a Amazing moment, and Imam give me a pappi on my right cheek for it
It goes like that , Repeat After me : I bear Witness that There is no God but Allah , and I bear Witness that Prophet Muhammad PBUH is the last and Final Messenger of Allah . She repeats that and than Nara-e-takbir Allah Hu Akber , Ok i am just kidding no takbir here
Finally we have our marriage as per Islamic standards , and my father decide Haq Mehar for my Wife , which was same as all my others brother's case 100,000 Pakistani rupee . I explain her about the haq mehar and chose the Option which says , I am Obliged to give her that money whenever she ask me for it . We came back home and evening we have a little get to gather of our closest relatives , and after 20 days we have our reception , the delay was because of the Bakra Eid ( Eid ul Adha ) .
Of course its a brief summary of my story of marriage , but of course there are some details which i haven't share here for Obvious reasons .
@Tps43 @The Sandman @Khafee @Mentee @Signalian @KAL-EL@KhalaiMakhlooq
@OsmanAli98 @Pan-Islamic-Pakistan @dexter@Dubious
@Moonlight
