No country for single women

[Hermione]

@Peter C

I was mocking the newspaper article okay and the Indians need to beat up themselves. I think people are pretty much the same everywhere. Wanting to get married or being loved by someone is not exclusive to any particular country or people.

It is simply a wedding game. Nothing more...and nothing less.
Whether 50 women dive for the bouquet or 50 women stand like statues it isn't a scientific way of measuring their marriage aspirations.

It is more than a game. It is a tradition with certain beliefs attached to it. Most American girls want to get married. So do American men. Only the liberals screwed the marriage and divorce laws, which acts as a barrier. Still more Americans marry 2nd and 3rd time than people anywhere else.

 

[Hamartia Antidote]

till more Americans marry 2nd and 3rd time than people anywhere else.

Depending upon the part of the country you are in there in some perception of shame if you are not married by some age while in others it is perfectly fine if you get married at 45+ or not married at all. I worked with some guy a long while back who was crying and depressed because he was 19 and not married yet (he was originally from the South). I was like WTF!!!

It's people like that who rush into marriage with the first person who says "hi" to them which is causing the high divorce rate.
That guy rushed into a marriage at like 21 and he was all happy because he was sure he never would be married. He then looked at me like I should be ashamed. Again I was like WTF? What a crazy mixed-up kid. I bet he's divorced (and yes I'm happily married with 2 kids).

Women's Median Age at First Marriage By State | LiveScience

http://www.floatingpath.com/2013/03/09/massachusetts-lowest-divorce-rate-nation/

My state has the highest average age of marriage...and we have the lowest rate of divorce.

 

[Hermione]

Depending upon the part of the country you are in there in some perception of shame if you are not married by some age while in others it is perfectly fine if you get married at 45+ or not married at all. I worked with some guy a long while back who was crying and depressed because he was 19 and not married yet (he was originally from the South). I was like WTF!!!

It's people like that who rush into marriage with the first person who says "hi" to them which is causing the high divorce rate.
That guy rushed into a marriage at like 21 and he was all happy because he was sure he never would be married. He then looked at me like I should be ashamed. Again I was like WTF? What a crazy mixed-up kid. I bet he's divorced (and yes I'm happily married with 2 kids).

There is no shame to not getting married in India, but yes family does pester one to get married by certain age. There are very few divorces and very few eligible people available to marry after a certain age. Hence the push. Also since after an age all everyone seem to be talking is about their husband or wife's antics or about the children at home, the dedicated singles do feel the odd one out.

I am one of those single ones.

God bless your family.


Yeah there are those foolish marriages.

Women's Median Age at First Marriage By State | LiveScience
Massachusetts Has The Lowest Divorce Rate In The Nation - Floating Path

I do not think there is any co-relation between getting married late and less divorces. Like Massachusetts late marriage and less divorce. There are other factors there.

Average Age at Marriage – India | Medindia

The table seems to have swapped men and women columns.

India has very less divorces.

 

[Hermione]

My state has the highest average age of marriage...and we have the lowest rate of divorce.

Could it be that they are choosing like-minded partners and most likely in similar professions? Also a state leading educationally?

 

[Hamartia Antidote]

There is no shame to not getting married in India, but yes family does pester one to get married by certain age. There are very few divorces and very few eligible people available to marry after a certain age. Hence the push. Also since after an age all everyone seem to be talking is about their husband or wife's antics or about the children at home, the dedicated singles do feel the odd one out.

I am one of those single ones.

God bless your family.


Yeah there are those foolish marriages.

Well there can be some pressure even in India. Before I was married I had an Indian friend/co-worker who pleaded with me to marry her because she got "the phone call" from India from her parents asking her to come back so they could arrange her marriage. I refused and she married another friend of hers and ran off to New York and got a job with a company in the World Trade Center. When the planes hit I thought for sure she was dead as it was all bad Karma and made me feel ill. Took her like 24 hours to finally reply to my emails saying she had missed her train. Geez!

 

[Hermione]

Well there can be some pressure even in India. Before I was married I had an Indian friend/co-worker who pleaded with me to marry her because she got "the phone call" from India from her parents asking her to come back so they could arrange her marriage. She refused and married another friend of hers and ran off to New York and got a job with a company in the World Trade Center. When the planes hit I thought for sure she was dead as it was all bad Karma and made me feel ill. Took her like 24 hours to finally reply to my emails saying she had missed her train. Geez!

LOL. Crazy girl. There are those like her who are mortified of arranged marriages. From what I have seen here, don't know if it is only an urban phenomenon, but a lot of them have an affair and then break up over some or other reason and voluntarily choose to get into an arranged marriage.

 

[+4vsgorillas-Apebane]

Perhaps their expectations are too high?
IMO its better to marry after financial security is attained, too young leads to a difficult and impoverished life.
Also, a good match should be someone who is a 'good' person, their wealth, social status and looks are secondary.

 

[Hermione]

Perhaps their expectations are too high?
IMO its better to marry after financial security is attained, too young leads to a difficult and impoverished life.
Also, a good match should be someone who is a 'good' person, their wealth, social status and looks are secondary.

Is it not difficult in China to get a bride if one does not have a house? Read about it somewhere.

 

[Dillinger]

All Indian moms are terrified of losing their sons to their daughter-in-laws. A Bengali bride in your mom's estimation would be more agreeable to negotiation and allow her to have at least some hold over her son.

She never aspired to have any hold on me, blessed soul that she is, her own father and mother were delighted when she picked her own path in her univ days. No she just knows how to yank my chain and make me feel uncomfortable, a rare feat but then she is my mother and therefore knows me far too well. Other then that she is well aware that I have no intention of continuing the family line, that's my younger brother's job.

and i thought u were gonna marry a bihari
btw,it doesnt matter,as u and your kids will always be bihari first,no matter what
thanks to the patriarchal society

There won't be any kids, bihari or otherwise. I have zilch tolerance for snot, crying and wailing. Its likely I'd toss the critter down the stairs if it did not obey when asked to cease and desist wrt all the wailing. No, the honor of continuing the proud line of Biharis falls upon you.

 

[takeiteasy]

Feminist c2ap or apologist article.. they want people to "explore" themselves...you know.so that this can be achieved. Farangi terms: LGBT Lesbian Feminism and more. :

Why Women Are Leaving Men for Lesbian Relationships - Bisexuality - Oprah.com

 

[wolfschanzze]

Is it not difficult in China to get a bride if one does not have a house? Read about it somewhere.

A boy needs three things in china to get married.A house/condo , a car and a job.

 

[Hermione]

She never aspired to have any hold on me, blessed soul that she is, her own father and mother were delighted when she picked her own path in her univ days. No she just knows how to yank my chain and make me feel uncomfortable, a rare feat but then she is my mother and therefore knows me far too well. Other then that she is well aware that I have no intention of continuing the family line, that's my younger brother's job.



There won't be any kids, bihari or otherwise. I have zilch tolerance for snot, crying and wailing. Its likely I'd toss the critter down the stairs if it did not obey when asked to cease and desist wrt all the wailing. No, the honor of continuing the proud line of Biharis falls upon you.

A very wise decision as expected of the wisest of lemur.

A boy needs three things in china to get married.A house/condo , a car and a job.

Yeah had read about it. Chinese women are smart.

 

[Hamartia Antidote]

Feminist c2ap or apologist article.. they want people to "explore" themselves...you know.so that this can be achieved. Farangi terms: LGBT Lesbian Feminism and more. :

Why Women Are Leaving Men for Lesbian Relationships - Bisexuality - Oprah.com

I'm not buying the argument that women are leaving men. It's more likely they were either bisexual or gay to begin with and they felt pressure to "conform" and thus got married to a man. Later they realized they had made a mistake.

 

[Hamartia Antidote]

Yeah had read about it. Chinese women are smart.

Not a good strategy at all.

Things can go from good to bad in a flash.
You need somebody who will stick with you if you lose your job or things go bad.

Arguments about money lead to divorce. You need a friend who doesn't care about your money.

 

[Dillinger]

A very wise decision as expected of the wisest of lemur.



Yeah had read about it. Chinese women are smart.

It is a cause for much consternation for my brother. Poor soul often asks me why he cannot simply do as I do, and I pat him on the head and remind him that there is no parity between him and me as there is none between me and those who populate his world.