SMS Thread!!

[Pk_Thunder]

Tapori sms!

Abhi bole to bhai ko tere sms nahi aarele...Bhai ka khopri ek dam tight hai..Bol to nikaalu kya tera lucky draw?doon kaan ke neechay?...chal pathli galli nikal ke Bhai ko dopchaar sms chipka daal Mammu..

Sender....Circuit Bhai..!

 

[Pk_Thunder]

During driving Sardar asked another Sardar: Sheesha khol aur bahir daikh car ke indicator ki light ON ho rahi hai ke nahi?..2nd Sardar ne daikha aur kaha....han nahi han nahi han nahi han nahi..!

 

[Rafael]

A boy goes to see a belly dance. His mom gets angry & asks him: Did u see anything there that u were not supposed to see?

Boy: Yes, I saw dad.

 

[Rafael]

U luv sumone... u marry sumone else. The one u marry becomes ur wife or husband & the one u loved becomes the password of your emai id...!

 

[Rafael]

Man said passionately: Will you marry me? My father is a millionaire and 93 years old.
He is going to die soon and then I shall be very very rich. What do you say? She said nothing but a week later, she became his mother!

 

[Tornado]

Lenin headed directly to the paradise after he died. He thought he had done a lot of good for the oppressed to deserve retirement in the paradise. He knocked on Heaven's door:
"Knock, knock!"
God shouted from his cosmically gigantic and perfectly spherical office:
"Who's there?"
"Vladimir Ilyich Lenin."
"Okay, okay! The last one in be sure to close the door. It's kind of cold in here…"
God studied carefully Lenin's dossier and decided to send him to the most suitable place: the hell.

A short time passed after Lenin's resettlement to Hell. Satan stormed into god's office one day.
"Almighty, pray ear my complaint! The hell is no longer functional. Lenin and his party nationalized the boilers, the furnaces…the whole hell. Sinners and devils spend time in interminable party meetings. In whatever time is left, they all gather in a huge choir. Women are always in front, men in the back rows. Everything must be absolutely politically correct. They rehearse La Internationale and other revolutionary songs, every day and every night. The electricity bill alone, Almighty God, will bankrupt You. Right now, Your Law is not observed: Nobody suffers, nobody is tortured. Pray, Almighty, take Lenin back to Paradise!"

Lenin was sent back to the paradise.
A short time passed after Lenin's transfer to Paradise. Satan stormed into God's office one day.
"God Almighty, pray ear my complaint! The hell is no longer functional. The sinners and devils want Lenin back. The sinners and devils together declared a general strike. They threaten with revolution. Pray, God, deport Lenin to Hell!"

 

[Tornado]

Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly Mother.

The first said, "I built a big house for our Mother." The second said, "I sent her a Mercedes with a driver." The third smiled and said, "I've got you both beat. You remember how Mom enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know she can't see very well any more. I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took Elders in the church 12 years to teach him. He's one of a kind. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it."

Soon thereafter, Mom sent out her letters of thanks: "Milton," she wrote one son, "the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house."

"Gerald," she wrote to another, "I am too old to travel any more. My eyesight isn't what it used to be. I stay most of the time at home, so I rarely use the Mercedes. And the driver is so rude!"

"Dearest Donald," she wrote to her third son, "you have the good sense to know what your Mother likes. The chicken was delicious!"

 

[Tornado]

A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman.

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

The blonde was very angry about this. She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, "I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

The blonde did not know how the salesman had recognized her. This time, she got a haircut and new color, a new outfit and big sunglasses. She then waited a few days before she approached the salesman.

"I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blonde?"

"Because that's a microwave," he replied.)

 

[Tornado]

A nun in full black habit is walking past a bar when a drunk stumbles out, sees her, and punches her square in the nose. Before she can scream, he lands a sloppy one-two and an uppercut. When she goes down, he starts kicking her with his scuffed business shoes. As a crowd gathers, the drunk stops, staggers back, and slurs, "You're not so tough, Batman!"

 

[Blossom]

Zardai was going on his bicycle and he met Nawaz Sharif on the way
Nawaz sharif: lift please
Zardari : aa ja beth ja...tujhe ek aur chakkar doon"

 

[Rafael]

"Na tera pakistan hai na mera pakistan hai,
Yeh uss ka pakistan hai jo sadar-e-pakistan hai,
jis ki barri dukaan hai aur sab chori ka samaan hai,
jo bara be'emaan hai woh sadar-e-pakistan hai,
jitney uss ke wazeer hain woh sarey bezameer hain,
Jo sab se bara shaitaan hai woh sadar-e-pakistan hai"

 

[Rafael]

A depressed boy asked an old man: Can there be anything worse than loosing a girlfriend?

The old man replied: "Yes! loosing your confidence of getting another one"

 

[Rafael]

Some Definations to clear your mind:

School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.

Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.

Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.

Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.


Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through 'the minds of either'


Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.


Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.


Father: A banker provided by nature.

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.


Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.


Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.


Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.


Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise after death

 

[Rafael]

INNA LILLAHE WA INNA ELAIH RAAJEOON.

Emergency lag gai hai! Watch Geo tv

Asif Zardari ko maar diya hai!!!!!!








Sherry rehman ki adaaon ney!

 

[Rafael]

Asif Zardari went to see Meera's dance,
After the show Meera asked: zardari jee paisey?

Asif zardari smiled and said: chal pagli tujh se thorii paisey lun ga