What makes a good daughter-in-law

[Panther 57]

Is there a checklist to be a good daughter-in-law? Apparently.

Meera recently appeared as a guest on Aamir Liaquat's Ramazan TV show Game Show Aisay Chalay Ga and the two had a short exchange on whether Meera would make a "good gharaylu daughter-in-law" or not. Meera, up for the challenge, replied, "Certainly."

Watch the video here.

The actor then went on to explain what constitutes a good daughter-in-law.

"I can become a good daughter-in-law by cooking food and by ironing clothes, and washing clothes, praying five times a day, and sending good wishes to people, having babies."

At which point Amir Liaquat cuts off Meera and asks, "Will you sweep the floors?"

And Meera continued with the checklist, "Yes, sweeping floors, keeping the room clean, massaging my husband's feet, looking after the mother-in-law, giving her tea and breakfast in the morning, waking up the father-in-law on time for prayers,,,"

The point of this conversation, as Amir explained, was to find Meera a good husband.

People have often made Meera the butt of their jokes, and Meera often plays along. While this itself is disturbing, we also need to take a step back and evaluate how damaging their joke is in a Pakistani context.

Let's start with the obvious. Meera's answers reinforce the belief many hold in this patriarchal society: that women are here to serve men, more importantly their in-laws. They are bound to look after and carry out duties in order to fulfill the wishes of their husbands — something many in Pakistan are fighting hard to overcome.

While some TV programming is going a long way to deviate from idolising the 'perfect bahu', albeit at snail's pace, these conversations on Ramazan transmissions are taking away from the effort of countless men and women who are still struggling to find equal footing for all genders in our society. The portrayal of a good daughter-in-law as serving only to cater to other people's needs, especially coming from influential individuals like Meera and Aamir Liaquat, undoes a lot of that effort.

Instead of focusing on how to become a 'good daughter-in-law', perhaps, the conversation should be geared towards how to be a good human being.

This year's Ramazan transmissions have left a sour taste in our mouths. We sincerely hope no one is trying to up this one.

https://images.dawn.com/news/117778...ends-the-wrong-message-about-daughters-in-law

 

[abdulbarijan]

This debate isn't about being content with the partner, it's about him and her leading their own lives together and being good to all the relations around them.

The issue comes when one family decides to dictate the Marriage.

Would a guy like his mother in law and father in law's decisions influencing their Marriage through their wife? No.

LOL! ... your going to act like it doesn't happen? There is a reason why there is a huge rise in relationships in Pakistan without a marriage, and the single biggest reason for that is the potential father-in-law and mother-in-law demands from the guy ... and secondly let's not act, like the in-laws on the wife's side are not opinion-makers ... and let's not act like those opinions are not heard by the husband via the wife ... and let's not also act like it doesn't have any effect on the relationship ..

At the end of the day, the biggest looser in a marriage is the guy. At every single point in time, someone's mad at him, and it's not even his fault

 

[scorpionx]

Wives have strange similarities with British East India Company. They will come as innocent merchants.

Slowly all the possible adversaries will be forced out and the husband will look like as helpless as the Maharajas and Nawabs infront of the disciplined infantry and accurate artillery of the British only to remain as a nominal head of the family, in reality just as a vassal of his wife.

This has been an eternal phenomenon since the first man breathed and I can't see any hope for the last man on earth either.

 

[Divergent]

LOL! ... your going to act like it doesn't happen? There is a reason why there is a huge rise in relationships in Pakistan without a marriage, and the single biggest reason for that is the potential father-in-law and mother-in-law demands from the guy ... and secondly let's not act, like the in-laws on the wife's side are not opinion-makers ... and let's not act like those opinions are not heard by the husband via the wife ... and let's not also act like it doesn't have any effect on the relationship ..

Exactly why I say both of them need to NOT let the parents (unless deemed necessary) influence their decisions.

 

[Hareeb]

females usually go for those they think they can mould!

Nah! IMO a female chooses her strongest mate so that he makes her wishes fulfill and her offsprings may get a greater chance at survival.
So somehow, she was right about this "handle" thing.

 

[abdulbarijan]

Exactly why I say both of them need to NOT let the parents (unless deemed necessary) influence their decisions.

I don't think anyone is opposed to that suggestion ....

 

[El Sidd]

Nobody listened to me when i said the thread idea in a male dominated sexist society is not a good idea.

But who listens a village idiot these days. Sure they listened to them during the Salem witch trials but these days its just the barn for likes of me.

Like we struggle to give basic human rights to women and devour their inheritance and we even fudging preach them to have committed the eternal sin and yet we are debating about how her ideal behaviour should be.

Amazing.

@ the topic. I think the chicken came first

 

[cleverrider]

It's okay don't cry

"I like the way men cry. They're efficient" ! But why would I cry, I hope you understood the content and context of the post.

 

[El Sidd]

Nah! IMO a female chooses her strongest mate so that he makes her wishes fulfill and her offsprings may get a greater chance at survival.
So somehow, she was right about this "handle" thing.

Yes yes just like lazy male lion is a scavenger and its the saucy lionesses who does all the killing the mutilation the savagery.
And that spider who devours the mate while he is making merry.

Oops that went wrong. Bad examples. I take them back.

I will go with yes the female is genetically tuned to select the fittest counterpart

But then again

Who lets them decide in these woods.

@ the topic. Maybe it was the egg

 

[Hareeb]

Yes yes just like lazy male lion is a scavenger and its the saucy lionesses who does all the killing the mutilation the savagery.
And that spider who devours the mate while he is making merry.

Oops that went wrong. Bad examples. I take them back.

I will go with yes the female is genetically tuned to select the fittest counterpart

But then again

Its a biology. "Natural selection"

Who lets them decide in these woods.

Hamari taraf to hota ha apka pata nahi.

@ the topic. Maybe it was the egg

Whether its chicken or egg, gonna turn into a roast or an omelet.

 

[Proudpakistaniguy]

Well guy women do need maids for helping and sharing the work .

Do u wake up early and make nashta for your wife and her family ? And then your wife goes to work and you're busy with cooking , cleaning , cleaning shit of kidd , pressing the clothes of your wife and her family , then your wife comes from office and you've to serve her lunch then she goes to a deep calming sleep while you're still busy in housework , washing the dishes , cutting vegetables for night's dinner ?
Whole your wife only has to wake up from sleep and drink the tea you made and then go out with friends to a golf club , and then eat the dinner you made for her .
Guess what you've to do it daily , without caring that you're on mood or not tired or you're tired or you you're sick . So yes , women do need maid for support even prophet saww provided a maid to his beloved daughter for sharing the work .


Such cases are rare , very rare where joint family is satisfactory .
I know many married women in my life who live with joint family system , and only one among them is living a good life others are beaten , forced , pressurised , taunt and ridiculed by the family and husband .

I had spent single life in uk where i had to do all stuffs i.e cooking ,cleaning along with full time education and part time work and i managed it fine ..now if some desi woman need maids even when they are not studying or working outside home and stay at home full time then they must be very lazy to demand maids..all they need to do is washing and cooking ..men has to work 11 or 12 hours each day to bring money for expenses and he also do most shopping so our women cannot find time for cooking and washing and need maids for it lol

I bet western guys are more lucky then .their women contribute financially by working full or part time and then they boht share responsibility toward family and children..no maids here even when they are boht working..our women expect all money from men yet they also want maids for household chores so then what will be their job? Neither house work nor any work outside


Joint family systems and separate family system boht have its pro and cons depend on what sort of personality you have as some people are social who enjoy living with others while some people are adam beezaar type who will make mountain out of molehill..funny thing is girls expect from their brothers to stay with parent and look after them while they expect from their husband to leave their parent aside and should spend all time with them..this double standards is common

 

[El Sidd]

Its a biology. "Natural selection"


Hamari taraf to hota ha apka pata nahi.


Whether its chicken or egg, gonna turn into a roast or an omelet.

Hmm evolutionist.

Well scientists have postulated that this possessive male behaviour stems from the mating ritual of kidnapping the female and confining her to the prized tree.

By these woods i meant in general.

Roast tikka sajji over omelet. How dare you!

@ the topic. Why would that chicken cross the road?

 

[Hareeb]

Hmm evolutionist.

Well scientists have postulated that this possessive male behaviour stems from the mating ritual of kidnapping the female and confining her to the prized tree.

And in a parallel world, water is wet.
Its a misconception that men cannot be victims of rape or sexual abuse. Men are usually sexually assaulted, exploited and abused by females but they dont usually share their stories. Secondly, media discriminates men by then calling women- Nisfe.Nazuk. -_-
Naan, dahi, kuch bhi lene jao to pehle females ko dete and here you are talking about men as oppressors. funny isnt?

Roast tikka sajji over omelet. How dare you!

Roast with coke.

@ the topic. Why would that chicken cross the road?

Anda pehle aya k murghi?.

 

[Hell hound]

@Hell hound bina sehri k rozedaron...zinda hai ya nikal liye?

zinda hain bhai or ajj rat sehri say pehlay bilkul na soney ka plan bana kay bethay hain

 

[El Sidd]

zinda hain bhai or ajj rat sehri say pehlay bilkul na soney ka plan bana kay bethay hain

Jaldi seekh jate ho ya jaldi darr jate ho

And in a parallel world, water is wet.
Its a misconception that men cannot be victims of rape or sexual abuse. Men are usually sexually assaulted, exploited and abused by females but they dont usually share their stories. Secondly, media discriminates men by then calling women- Nisfe.Nazuk. -_-
Naan, dahi, kuch bhi lene jao to pehle females ko dete and here you are talking about men as oppressors. funny isnt?


Roast with coke.


Anda pehle aya k murghi?.

Yes....always.Roast with coke.. presuming coke like not the powder type lol

Na anda aya na murghi... Sabse pehle aya Pakistan ask musharraf.lol

And see here lies the problem. If everyone is a victim then who in the blue hell is the bully. And don't answer that with yahoodi or amreeeka the brutal