Dawood Ibrahim
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A couple of months ago a school down the road asked me if I would address their parents on how to bring up children. For a moment I asked myself and I still do as to how I was selected to do justice to such serious talk, and wondered whether it had anything to do with bringing up two daughters, who I have little doubt would laugh if they knew their dad thought he had become proficient in a subject they still considered me a dud at.
But it made me do a lot of thinking and something I realized at the end of my gathering material for the talk was that there is not a job or profession on this earth that does not have courses, degrees and lectures before one starts off onto it, but when it comes to parenting most of us have a baby in our hands with no knowledge of what the little creature expects from us.
So often I have heard grownups talk about the terrible childhood they have had, and when I talk to the parents of those adult children, they tell me how they invested time and money, love and affection to bring up their children. What went wrong?
This is when I read about this little survey: “Quote Magazine” (September 1985) published ten behaviors children ages 8 to 14 identified as qualities they wanted in parents. These young people, from 24 countries, agreed on ten traits they believed were important for all parents to possess.
Here they are: They want harmony. They do not want their parents to have unresolved and destructive conflict in front of the, They want love. They wish to be treated with the same affection as other children in the family. They want honesty. And to be told the truth.
They want acceptance. They desire mutual tolerance from both parents. They want their parents to like their friends. They want their friends to be welcomed in the home. They want closeness. They desire comradeship with their parents. They want their parents to pay attention to them and answer their questions.
They want consideration from their parents. They do not want to be embarrassed or punished in front of friends. They want positive support. They wish for their parents to concentrate on their good points rather than their weaknesses. They want consistency. They desire parents to be constant in their affections and moods.
It appears that these children want what all of us want – respect, consideration and love. In fact, these work well with “children” of all ages. I know for sure that my children would add maybe a few pages to this list, but for starters let’s give these ten points a go, shall we?
— Email: bobsbanter@gmail.com
But it made me do a lot of thinking and something I realized at the end of my gathering material for the talk was that there is not a job or profession on this earth that does not have courses, degrees and lectures before one starts off onto it, but when it comes to parenting most of us have a baby in our hands with no knowledge of what the little creature expects from us.
So often I have heard grownups talk about the terrible childhood they have had, and when I talk to the parents of those adult children, they tell me how they invested time and money, love and affection to bring up their children. What went wrong?
This is when I read about this little survey: “Quote Magazine” (September 1985) published ten behaviors children ages 8 to 14 identified as qualities they wanted in parents. These young people, from 24 countries, agreed on ten traits they believed were important for all parents to possess.
Here they are: They want harmony. They do not want their parents to have unresolved and destructive conflict in front of the, They want love. They wish to be treated with the same affection as other children in the family. They want honesty. And to be told the truth.
They want acceptance. They desire mutual tolerance from both parents. They want their parents to like their friends. They want their friends to be welcomed in the home. They want closeness. They desire comradeship with their parents. They want their parents to pay attention to them and answer their questions.
They want consideration from their parents. They do not want to be embarrassed or punished in front of friends. They want positive support. They wish for their parents to concentrate on their good points rather than their weaknesses. They want consistency. They desire parents to be constant in their affections and moods.
It appears that these children want what all of us want – respect, consideration and love. In fact, these work well with “children” of all ages. I know for sure that my children would add maybe a few pages to this list, but for starters let’s give these ten points a go, shall we?
— Email: bobsbanter@gmail.com
