Yes, the issue of tainted/poisonous/noxious food has been flogged mercilessly in the media and on this blog, but bear with me for this story. Although I realize that all consumers should be treated equally by government regulators, it just makes sense to me that special care should be taken in regions that are, well, um, predisposed to public displays of discontent.
Vinegar stored in plastic barrels that once contained antifreeze is suspected of killing 11 people and making 120 others sick in China’s northwest Xinjiang region, state media said on Monday, in the latest deadly food safety scandal to hit the country.
Police said residents of Sangzhu village, near Hotan, in the vast region that is home to many ethnic Uighur Muslims, had consumed the toxic vinegar on Saturday during a large Ramadan feast, the official Xinhua news agency reported. (Reuters)
You never want to see a story about food that has “antifreeze” in the first paragraph. But to have that incident take place out West, involving folks chowing down at night during Ramadan . . . not good, not good at all.
Indeed, I almost expect to read further in that wire service account about pork tallow and paper ammo cartridges. But let’s not go there.
Besides, we all know that a crazy conspiracy theory has no place here. This incident can be easily explained by negligence. Some evil putz stored vinegar in used antifreeze barrels. End of story, right?
Well, apparently not if you work for the Associated Press. Check out Subtle Alternative Theory #1:
It said the mass food poisoning occurred Saturday night in a village close to Hotan city in Xinjiang, a border region that abuts Afghanistan, Pakistan and Central Asia. The victims were ethnic Muslims who were sharing an evening meal after the daily fast observed during the holy month of Ramadan.
Perhaps my brain was simply warped from consuming too much anti-Muslim news post-9/11, but does that passage reek of the sinister to you? Are you thinking what I’m thinking? (Yeah, clandestine border crossings of Afghan tribal religious fanatics and rogue Pakistani intelligence agents, all determined to stir up ethnic tensions in China’s hinterlands. {cue the vaguely Middle Eastern folk music.})
****, I don’t know. Maybe I’m a racist, or a reverse racist, or a bored blogger looking for trouble.
Then there’s AP Subtle Alternative Theory #2 (hat tip to @chinajinrong for pointing out this one):
Revenge attacks using rat poison or other chemicals are also common in China, where access to firearms and other deadly weapons is tightly controlled.
Yes, well, that certainly does seem plausible. Someone with an old worldish, tribal grudge figured out how to trick the vinegar hawker into storing his product in old antifreeze barrels. Devilishly clever, those natives.
But wait, check out that last bit. The only reason that this brilliant antifreeze gambit was employed was that firearms are not available. Get it? If the person with the grudge had a gun, then no vinegar problem, and no “collateral damage” (i.e., fewer deaths). A very American solution, and the reasoning here is of course impeccable. More guns = less violence and death. {cue Charlton Heston and his cold, dead hands}
So now the images of tribal warriors sneaking across the border at night have been replaced in my mind with Michael Corleone in Sicily, dodging goats and settling scores with the lupara. (Someone should tell the AP that women are more dangerous than shotguns.)
Hmm. Perhaps one reference too many. Let’s wrap this up.
Obviously the AP folks are hopped up on goofballs and should undergo drug testing or a few rounds of ECT. This was unfortunately a run-of-the-mill food scandal that just happened to take place out West during Ramadan.
That being the case, perhaps someone might wish to reconsider budgeting for food inspectors out there before the conspiracy theories gain traction on the Intertubes.
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