Update about my situation from my original post

[Numerous]

This is the problem with many Pakistani parents they want force wash their kids with views some of them are not even Islamic just cocked up cultural mish mosh this eventually turns the kids away from Pakistani culture and eventually Islam thankfully I am not like that

Yeh it's good you learned the difference man. May Allah bless you.

 

[Yankee-stani]

Yeh it's good you learned the difference man. May Allah bless you.

Off course the Islamic world is not a monlith some cultures vary I just think some of Pakistanis here tend to mix up culture with Islamic and try to mish mosh with their views

 

[Peaceful Civilian]

This is normal And " just listening and obeying the order " will not do any job. Tomorrow they will again raise some non sense issue . I sacrificed my love for arrange marriage, I thought they will become happy. I don't regret marrying with her, & I care about her thoughts and respect her opinion and we are living happily but still parents creates some issue, non sense debate why I give more time to her. Even it was arrange marriage, they still are not happy. I am going to seperate within months & i'll not allow them to interfere in my life. We are human being not robots. I am done with enough yes sir attitude.
Just get job, don't remain dependent on them. They will screw your life deliberately or undeliberatly due to old thoughts. Mother takes husband side. Jitna zor lgana hai laga lo. Get job, Work hard. You should not care if it is any type if job. Do it. Stand on your foot first before leaving home otherwise all in vein.

 

[Yankee-stani]

This is normal And " just listening and obeying the order " will not do any job. Tomorrow they will again raise some non sense issue . I sacrificed my love for arrange marriage, I thought they will become happy. I don't regret marrying with her, & I care about her thoughts and respect her opinion and we are living happily but still parents creates some issue, non sense debate why I give more time to her. Even it was arrange marriage, they still are not happy. I am going to seperate within months & i'll not allow them to interfere in my life. We are human being not robots. I am done with enough yes sir attitude.
Just get job, don't remain dependent on them. They will screw your life deliberately or undeliberatly due to old thoughts. Mother takes husband side. Jitna zor lgana hai laga lo. Get job, Work hard. You should not care if it is any type if job. Do it. Stand on your foot first before leaving home otherwise all in vein.

Ouch man you tied the knot cause of your parents now I really should just keep silent and keep quiet and firgure some out I need to balance this somehow

I dont think its deliberate its more of parents who take too far

I am going to seperate within months & i'll not allow them to interfere in my life. We are human being not robots. I am done with enough yes sir attitude.
Just get job, don't remain dependent on them. They will screw your life deliberately or undeliberatly due to old thoughts. Mother takes husband side. Jitna zor lgana hai laga lo. Get job, Work hard. You should not care if it is any type if job. Do it. Stand on your foot first before leaving home otherwise all in vein.[/QUOTE]

Did you have kids with her also my mom isnt Pakistani but they spilt early on in my teenage years

 

[masterchief_mirza]

Ouch man you tied the knot cause of your parents now I really should just keep silent and keep quiet and firgure some out I need to balance this somehow

I dont think its deliberate its more of parents who take too far

I am going to seperate within months & i'll not allow them to interfere in my life. We are human being not robots. I am done with enough yes sir attitude.
Just get job, don't remain dependent on them. They will screw your life deliberately or undeliberatly due to old thoughts. Mother takes husband side. Jitna zor lgana hai laga lo. Get job, Work hard. You should not care if it is any type if job. Do it. Stand on your foot first before leaving home otherwise all in vein.

Did you have kids with her also my mom isnt Pakistani but they spilt early on in my teenage years[/QUOTE]
He feels guilty because things didn't work out between him and your mother. He feels your life would have been better had he forced it to work with your mother. Deep down, you already know this but you have too much ego, just as he does, to tell him it's ok and that he did the best he could, and that you are grateful for what he has done for you. He never meant to hurt you or make things hard for you - and clearly he wants to try to connect more with you.

You need to grab a spade and plant that damn plant in the garden and stop complaining because at a subconscious level, when you bicker with him, you don't realise it but you reject his parenting of you and you confirm his fear that he has somehow failed you. That will leave both him and you bitter until his last days on earth. By then it will be too late. Nothing more to say on this.

 

[Fekay]

I am sorry you are going through this. Dealing with broken families(stubborn/abusive fathers)is probably the most difficult trial one could face in this life. Some daily kicks in the crouch would be less painful. I know because I’ve dealt with this situation my entire life at varying intensities. Pray for his forgiveness and guidance and yours too. People learn at different stages in life. Patience is your test here.

 

[Ghareeb_Da_Baal]

You need to understand something, HE is not going to change, neither is he going to be there forever. YOU need to be the bigger man, and bite your ego.

exactly.

 

[crankthatskunk]

Story of my life too. The biggest crater in my life was loosing my father at 12. It is indeed one's ego which gets in the way of mending relationships. Whoever learns that quickly enough gets to live a happier life.

You were lucky you seen enough of your father. I cannot even remember his face, unless I see his picture.
I was only 4 years old my friend when my Dad passed away.

But despite it, I am one of the strongest person you will see in real life, if you know me personally. Very strong mentally, resolute and very straight. And in a sense very contended too. I always thank my Allah SWT for giving me what I have, and never complaint. In a sense it makes me a responsible person very early in the life and I shaped my life myself. Sometimes the adversity bring the best out of you.

 

[Shane]

You were lucky you seen enough of your father. I cannot even remember his face, unless I see his picture.
I was only 4 years old my friend when my Dad passed away.

But despite it, I am one of the strongest person you will see in real life, if you know me personally. Very strong mentally, resolute and very straight. And in a sense very contended too. I always thank my Allah SWT for giving me what I have, and never complaint. In a sense it makes me a responsible person very early in the life and I shaped my life myself. Sometimes the adversity bring the best out of you.

We have to be greatful to Allah Subhan Taala for he is the one who sustains us no matter the calamity or adversity we are up against.

Loosing a parent in infancy or at any age in your life is hard enough but loosing after getting to know and begining to bond with your father in early age is extremely traumatic.

Changed me forever from a no worry in the world, playful, happy go lucky kid to suddenly an adult twice my age in a few weeks afterwards, literally. I'm still so lucky that my older siblings and my mother was there for me and is alive and well to this day, Alhamdulillah.

People who have their parents in their lives, just being there, being alive, means so much and yet people don't realize that no amount of ego should come in the way, as nothing can be more of blessing than to be able to get the opportunity to be with them and serve them.

 

[Imran Khan]

so many south asian families treat their kids as slaves and also black mail them emotionally .take your way and leave him alone .