Khan_21
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If that's your experience and how you view things, its fine we all have our own views. When your best friend doesn't give you money to buy drugs, it doesn't mean he is stingy (kanjoos) but he is just looking out for you because he knows you will harm yourself even though at the time we might see it as being a bad friend. Its all a matter of perspective.
I can't deny that there might be a sense of jealousy or better known in Pashto as "Turburwali". Jealousy is a destructive trait and negative energy which is bad for you but wanting to be as good as your brother in good things in life is healthy. Islam encourages competition in good deeds. If Pashtuns in Pakistan prosper due to more stability or whatever other reason, it should serve as motivation for Afghan pashtuns to better themselves. We can learn from each other.
I don't think there is much difference between an Urban pashtun from Afghanistan and Pakistan except a Pakistani Pashtun might use more urdu/english words and an Afghan Pashtun use more farsi/english words. Some differences are bound to appear due to living in different states and going through different schools systems and different sense of nationhood. A rural and uneducated pashtun from KPK will have much more in common with a rural and uneducated Pashtun from Afghanistan than with a fellow Urban Pakistani Pashtun. On the surface they might say Zindabad Afghanistan or Pakistan but their world view will be quite similar. The same goes for a religious Pashtun.
Durand LIne is all but accepted in name because as you say Afghans and Pakistanis will need visas to travel now and also Afghanistan is too weak to do anything about it. I think there should be a referrendum in Pashtun areas of Pakistan and Afghanistan and let's see what majority of Pashtuns have to say about it. I am certain Pakistani Pashtuns would vote to recognise Durand Line and the Afghan government should respect their wishes. It will also mean Afghanistan can't be blamed in the future by Pashtuns in Pakistan for accepting Durand if its done with their consent and free will.
Pashtuns on our side live mostly in urban areas and the largest pashtun speaking city in the world happens to be Karachi . So there are alot of differences. Pashtuns on our side have matured really fast . Elected the best available party to rule the province (something afghanistan needs to learn ) .Before PTI came to power KPK had little to boost. Now Peshawer is getting nominated for beatification awards , Police is the best in country , Literacy rate is rivaling Punjab , Health sector has improved alot , Building more dams than any province in the country , great tourism initiatives and countless projects to count. Afghan pashtuns have yet to come out of the warlord/tribal mentality. Given there are alot of those types in us too but that is changing very fast here .
Afghan pashtuns despite being the largest ethnicity are sidelined. Almost all your talk shows are in dari . Your president prefers to speak in dari rather than Pashto. Afghans are very naive. They are always used by other people for their own benefits and available for hire to to the highest bidder . Then there are people like A-team who are detached from reality and thinks US presence is a blessing for the country