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By Paul Beckett
The relationship between India and the United States has seen much progress since the presidency of former President Bill Clinton. With President Barack Obama’s visit to to India the relationship between the two countries seems close to fruition.
In the run-up to the Commonwealth Games, we heard several politicians say there was no reason to worry about the chaos, it would all come together like an Indian wedding – joyously and at the last minute.
President Barack Obama’s arrival here Saturday has inspired us to riff on some matrimonial imagery of a different sort: That of a nervous groom, the U.S., being sent to an arranged marriage with a somewhat reluctant bride, India.
Consider Bill Clinton as the man who introduced this power couple in 2000. There was much excitement in both families just to be meeting people they’d heard a lot about but hadn’t actually met face to face. There was nothing to be lost; much fun was had. George W. Bush acted as the friendly auntie who moved things forward to the point where an engagement was sealed with the promise of great things to come.
Now, with Mr. Obama arriving in India with a vast U.S. guest list – probably the largest wedding delegation ever to leave U.S. shores – there is a little reticence on both sides as this arranged marriage actually comes close to fruition.
Both sides know it is a good idea. In fact, they have to get together if these two great families are to survive intact and healthy for generations. But this is serious stuff now, not just nice-to-see-yous and lets-stay-in-touches, but two sides that are going to share a common future. It’s butterflies in the stomach time.
The groom (and we only picked the U.S. as the groom since its diplomacy has been considerably more testosterone-filled than India’s in the past decade) is nervous, a little distracted, seems to have a lot on his mind, doesn’t want to put a foot wrong. Like most grooms, he cares more about charming his hosts and about what he should not say than he does about what he should say.
The bride’s family, in contrast, hopes he’ll just get straight to the point. Is he going to mention that ugly business that everyone is gossiping about: Isn’t he sort of “seeing” someone else just up the road from a clan that this family can’t stand? Is he going to renounce her publicly, as he should for heaven’s sake, if he’s about to tie the knot? When will he ditch her and declare his undying love for India?
Instead, soon after his arrival, he says how much he likes being in this country and admires the family and everything. But the bride’s family isn’t happy and the bride’s cousins in the media sit around all afternoon bemoaning his lack of desire and taking potshots.
Still, all is not lost. The big delegation of guests shows they are willing to do their part to bring the two families together. There is a grand exchange of presents, to the tune of $14.9 billion. And there is much felicitating, along with some gentle ribbing of the “now-that-our-houses-are-uniting-we-expect-even-more” variety. All very positive, a good start to the celebration from that standpoint.
As with most Indian weddings, this is a three-day affair. The second day was for the families to relax and get to know each other better. He does mention the other woman by name but really only to say that she is having a difficult time of it and India and the U.S. should try to do what they can to help. The cousins tut, tut and ask why he’s still sending her money.
Which brings us to Monday, the wedding day. This is the moment, in his address to all the assembled guests at the formal reception and the banquet afterward, when he has the chance to win the in-laws over completely, to get them genuinely enthused about the future of this union, to show that he is really, truly, in love with his new bride and is ready to make a serious commitment.
We expect this to be like many arranged marriages: One that starts positively but with some misgivings and nervousness on both sides. It is only over time, as the couple gets to know each other better, builds trust, steps in helpfully at awkward moments, and shows signs of genuine affection and mutual interest that they can declare that most delightful and optimistic of romantic phrases: “First it was marriage, then it was love.”
Obama in India: First Marriage, then Love - India Real Time - WSJ
The relationship between India and the United States has seen much progress since the presidency of former President Bill Clinton. With President Barack Obama’s visit to to India the relationship between the two countries seems close to fruition.
In the run-up to the Commonwealth Games, we heard several politicians say there was no reason to worry about the chaos, it would all come together like an Indian wedding – joyously and at the last minute.
President Barack Obama’s arrival here Saturday has inspired us to riff on some matrimonial imagery of a different sort: That of a nervous groom, the U.S., being sent to an arranged marriage with a somewhat reluctant bride, India.
Consider Bill Clinton as the man who introduced this power couple in 2000. There was much excitement in both families just to be meeting people they’d heard a lot about but hadn’t actually met face to face. There was nothing to be lost; much fun was had. George W. Bush acted as the friendly auntie who moved things forward to the point where an engagement was sealed with the promise of great things to come.
Now, with Mr. Obama arriving in India with a vast U.S. guest list – probably the largest wedding delegation ever to leave U.S. shores – there is a little reticence on both sides as this arranged marriage actually comes close to fruition.
Both sides know it is a good idea. In fact, they have to get together if these two great families are to survive intact and healthy for generations. But this is serious stuff now, not just nice-to-see-yous and lets-stay-in-touches, but two sides that are going to share a common future. It’s butterflies in the stomach time.
The groom (and we only picked the U.S. as the groom since its diplomacy has been considerably more testosterone-filled than India’s in the past decade) is nervous, a little distracted, seems to have a lot on his mind, doesn’t want to put a foot wrong. Like most grooms, he cares more about charming his hosts and about what he should not say than he does about what he should say.
The bride’s family, in contrast, hopes he’ll just get straight to the point. Is he going to mention that ugly business that everyone is gossiping about: Isn’t he sort of “seeing” someone else just up the road from a clan that this family can’t stand? Is he going to renounce her publicly, as he should for heaven’s sake, if he’s about to tie the knot? When will he ditch her and declare his undying love for India?
Instead, soon after his arrival, he says how much he likes being in this country and admires the family and everything. But the bride’s family isn’t happy and the bride’s cousins in the media sit around all afternoon bemoaning his lack of desire and taking potshots.
Still, all is not lost. The big delegation of guests shows they are willing to do their part to bring the two families together. There is a grand exchange of presents, to the tune of $14.9 billion. And there is much felicitating, along with some gentle ribbing of the “now-that-our-houses-are-uniting-we-expect-even-more” variety. All very positive, a good start to the celebration from that standpoint.
As with most Indian weddings, this is a three-day affair. The second day was for the families to relax and get to know each other better. He does mention the other woman by name but really only to say that she is having a difficult time of it and India and the U.S. should try to do what they can to help. The cousins tut, tut and ask why he’s still sending her money.
Which brings us to Monday, the wedding day. This is the moment, in his address to all the assembled guests at the formal reception and the banquet afterward, when he has the chance to win the in-laws over completely, to get them genuinely enthused about the future of this union, to show that he is really, truly, in love with his new bride and is ready to make a serious commitment.
We expect this to be like many arranged marriages: One that starts positively but with some misgivings and nervousness on both sides. It is only over time, as the couple gets to know each other better, builds trust, steps in helpfully at awkward moments, and shows signs of genuine affection and mutual interest that they can declare that most delightful and optimistic of romantic phrases: “First it was marriage, then it was love.”
Obama in India: First Marriage, then Love - India Real Time - WSJ