Need help regarding Child Adoption

[Jazzbot]

In Islam their is no such thing as adoption. Even if you take a infant and your wife breast feeds her yes you would be child's Razai parents but you would have to call the child by her fathers name along with child's name. You can't give that child your name. It's better to have your kid and with that take care of some orphan.
@Jazzbot @Akheilos

The video you've shared sounded a bit rude but I've got the point, had knowledge about this already. By saying "I want to raise it as my own", I meant I want to raise him / her alongside my own children in my home. Of course, he'll keep his father's name and his true identity in documents, and will know about his true identity when he'll grow up. Rest of the things about inheritance or share in my property, will see about that when the time will come - too early to think about such things.

 

[Blue Marlin]

did not see that coming. good for you and what ever makes you happy. but you need to ensure you are capable of raising another child, financially physically and mentally. its not one of those things that are short term. it will affect your life and your families. should adoption in Pakistan be easy? here, its very long and tedious. there do many checks, months of observations, and if you have convictions you can forget it.

anyhow good luck with your move and hope it goes well, and keep us updated.

 

[BDforever]

Hi all,

I have a son who just turned 3 and is about to start going school in coming 6 months (hopefully), so its time to think about expanding the family.

After thinking about this, I've decided to adopt a child instead of going for our own child (2 kids in total are all I want). Luckily, my wife's always been the first one to support me in every tough decision, so here again she has understood my point of view and agreed. Honestly, I had bit of tough time convincing my dad but in the end all's perfectly fine as we all are agreed about all the responsibility and stuff that comes with a child adoption.

Why I decided to adopt a child, well I remember as a child that my mom always wanted to adopt an orphan cousin of mine but my father (due to some family conflicts and other issues) never agreed, and he had valid reasons. So I've always had it in me (thanks to my mom), always wanted to adopt a child and raise him as my own along with my own kids.

---

Now the problem is, after convincing my entire family I still have no idea about how to proceed with this plan. Not sure where should I consult or contact for child adoption. I know there are organizations like Edhi etc but I want suggestions about the legal process as well. Unfortunately, none of my close relatives or friends have adopted anyone so I'm unable to find valuable assistance hence here I am asking you guys.

Do let me know if there are any centers or organizations in Lahore (where I live) where I should contact, and how to proceed with the process. Like I've said, I want complete custody of the child as I want to raise him as my own. Boy or girl doesn't matter, cast / ethnicity - I don't buy these things. Ideally the child should be less than 1.5 years old so we can groom him as we want.




@Jzaib @Jango @Armstrong @jaibi @Tameem @WAJsal @Color_Less_Sky @Irfan Baloch @Bratva @Hyperion @Leader @Shamain @notorious_eagle

wow ! ! ! I really like it , hats off brother

 

[Dr. Strangelove]

kuddos @Jazzbot

 

[Jazzbot]

did not see that coming. good for you and what ever makes you happy. but you need to ensure you are capable of raising another child, financially physically and mentally. its not one of those things that are short term. it will affect your life and your families. should adoption in Pakistan be easy? here, its very long and tedious. there do many checks, months of observations, and if you have convictions you can forget it.

anyhow good luck with your move and hope it goes well, and keep us updated.

From the looks of it, its at least a couple of years process if you go by the rules. And even after adoptions, you'll remain under radar for another 5 years at least. So yes, its tedious here too.

But here, few other options are also available. Like adopting a child directly from someone and skip the adoption center's procedures and all that. Just a mutual agreement over the custody and few other legal documents, and you're good to go. But of course, its not the perfectly safe way of doing things.

 

[Sky lord]

Hi all,

I have a son who just turned 3 and is about to start going school in coming 6 months (hopefully), so its time to think about expanding the family.

After thinking about this, I've decided to adopt a child instead of going for our own child (2 kids in total are all I want). Luckily, my wife's always been the first one to support me in every tough decision, so here again she has understood my point of view and agreed. Honestly, I had bit of tough time convincing my dad but in the end all's perfectly fine as we all are agreed about all the responsibility and stuff that comes with a child adoption.

Why I decided to adopt a child, well I remember as a child that my mom always wanted to adopt an orphan cousin of mine but my father (due to some family conflicts and other issues) never agreed, and he had valid reasons. So I've always had it in me (thanks to my mom), always wanted to adopt a child and raise him as my own along with my own kids.

---

Now the problem is, after convincing my entire family I still have no idea about how to proceed with this plan. Not sure where should I consult or contact for child adoption. I know there are organizations like Edhi etc but I want suggestions about the legal process as well. Unfortunately, none of my close relatives or friends have adopted anyone so I'm unable to find valuable assistance hence here I am asking you guys.

Do let me know if there are any centers or organizations in Lahore (where I live) where I should contact, and how to proceed with the process. Like I've said, I want complete custody of the child as I want to raise him as my own. Boy or girl doesn't matter, cast / ethnicity - I don't buy these things. Ideally the child should be less than 1.5 years old so we can groom him as we want.




@Jzaib @Jango @Armstrong @jaibi @Tameem @WAJsal @Color_Less_Sky @Irfan Baloch @Bratva @Hyperion @Leader @Shamain @notorious_eagle

Dude respect! It is a wonderful thing you are doing.

I haven't read the entire thread, so not sure if this has been discussed. If and when you do adopt, do not hide the adoption from the child. He/ she should know from the beginning that while he is not your biological child he was special to be chosen by you and loved for that. If the child does not know there will be enough people who will take great pleasure in informing the child in the most cruel way - he should be coached in how to handle such people. There are a lot of books on the psychology of adoption which you and your wife should read ahead of time.

Anyways, God bless and hope you are successful in this.

 

[Blue Marlin]

From the looks of it, its at least a couple of years process if you go by the rules. And even after adoptions, you'll remain under radar for another 5 years at least. So yes, its tedious here too.

But here, few other options are also available. Like adopting a child directly from someone and skip the adoption center's procedures and all that. Just a mutual agreement over the custody and few other legal documents, and you're good to go. But of course, its not the perfectly safe way of doing things.

but you need to find a child though.and a couple who will want to give the child away. not the easiest thing to ask. best stick with the adoption centers. as long as if you have been a good boy and follow the procedures then what do fear, nothing right ? mind you, im not even married so im no expert. best go to the edthi centre i hear they have very good reputation, i see their ambulances on the news when you hear about something thats happened. thats how i know them. someone on the thread mentioned them too.

 

[Raja.Pakistani]

Yes, I came to know about these complications, so I guess the best way forward is become a guardian of the adopted child and keep his original identity in documents instead of declaring yourself as his / her parent.

Yes mate thats seem much better option and also it will not create any confusion for child as well. Adoption in our society should be taken as foster-parent and to be honest what actually matter is deeds that how you spend your money and time to look after orphans and to fulfill all their neeeds irrespective of whether you legally adopt them or act as foster parent. Great rewards for such people and we should come forward to look after orphans and needy kids in our society whether we feed them, give them shelter, clothes etc or spend on their education and wedding etc. These are all noble acts which we can do even without legally adopting them. Good luck to you and all others thinking to do something like this

 

[Faiez]

Hi all,

I have a son who just turned 3 and is about to start going school in coming 6 months (hopefully), so its time to think about expanding the family.

After thinking about this, I've decided to adopt a child instead of going for our own child (2 kids in total are all I want). Luckily, my wife's always been the first one to support me in every tough decision, so here again she has understood my point of view and agreed. Honestly, I had bit of tough time convincing my dad but in the end all's perfectly fine as we all are agreed about all the responsibility and stuff that comes with a child adoption.

Why I decided to adopt a child, well I remember as a child that my mom always wanted to adopt an orphan cousin of mine but my father (due to some family conflicts and other issues) never agreed, and he had valid reasons. So I've always had it in me (thanks to my mom), always wanted to adopt a child and raise him as my own along with my own kids.

---

Now the problem is, after convincing my entire family I still have no idea about how to proceed with this plan. Not sure where should I consult or contact for child adoption. I know there are organizations like Edhi etc but I want suggestions about the legal process as well. Unfortunately, none of my close relatives or friends have adopted anyone so I'm unable to find valuable assistance hence here I am asking you guys.

Do let me know if there are any centers or organizations in Lahore (where I live) where I should contact, and how to proceed with the process. Like I've said, I want complete custody of the child as I want to raise him as my own. Boy or girl doesn't matter, cast / ethnicity - I don't buy these things. Ideally the child should be less than 1.5 years old so we can groom him as we want.




@Jzaib @Jango @Armstrong @jaibi @Tameem @WAJsal @Color_Less_Sky @Irfan Baloch @Bratva @Hyperion @Leader @Shamain @notorious_eagle

I don't recommend adopting especially if your DNA (and your partner's) is better than the dna available in orphanages...

Adopting does not decrease the number of orphans available in orphanages. You take one, someone else takes his/her place.

 

[Zarvan]

The video you've shared sounded a bit rude but I've got the point, had knowledge about this already. By saying "I want to raise it as my own", I meant I want to raise him / her alongside my own children in my home. Of course, he'll keep his father's name and his true identity in documents, and will know about his true identity when he'll grow up. Rest of the things about inheritance or share in my property, will see about that when the time will come - too early to think about such things.

No not after growing up from day one you have to call child with his or her fathers name.

 

[I.R.A]

actually Islamic law is very easy u can easily make him ur mahram by breast feeding from ur wife or ur wives sisters no need to worry and btw ap ko kis nay kaha k burai k waqt he islam yad ata hay research a bit aisi koi baat nai hy agar ham islam ko apna religion yani way of life mantay hain to guidence b banti hay warna ham munafiq huay na hay k nai

Burai kay waqt nahi doosray kisi ki achai kay waqt. Apni Burai kay waqt to Islam kya hum apni Insaniat bhi bhool jaty hain.

Some of the comments here remind me of the term "Anaaad" and social stigma attached to it. I remember Quran has very specifically and clearly mentioned Orphans and their rights in some cases and for me worrying about "Mehram Na Mehram" (when that child is infant and I am ready to adopt him/her) is not that crucial as worrying about operating an interest based bank account and feeding my family (including that child) from that interest income. Or worrying about Halal or Haram source of income. Look at our society and then tell me is not it hypocritical of me that I bring in Islam and complications when someone is adopting an orphan and forget when I am bribing an official or asking for undue favors or deciding the age of thirteen old girl to marry, when there is rampant corruption and I am part of it, when there is injustice and I don't raise voice against it, when the rape victim burns herself alive and I don't care, when ignorant idiots are leaders and I kill others for him? But hey no wait before adopting some orphan deprived child let us see what Islam has to say about whether he/she is Mehram or Na Mehram............................ Yeah sure why not let him / her rot in that orphanage because he / she will turn out to be Na Mehram when he / she grows up, why worry if he / she can become a good human and a better Muslim by adopting him / her.

 

[Zain Ul Abideen Trimzy]

Burai kay waqt nahi doosray kisi ki achai kay waqt. Apni Burai kay waqt to Islam kya hum apni Insaniat bhi bhool jaty hain.

Some of the comments here remind me of the term "Anaaad" and social stigma attached to it. I remember Quran has very specifically and clearly mentioned Orphans and their rights in some cases and for me worrying about "Mehram Na Mehram" (when that child is infant and I am ready to adopt him/her) is not that crucial as worrying about operating an interest based bank account and feeding my family (including that child) from that interest income. Or worrying about Halal or Haram source of income. Look at our society and then tell me is not it hypocritical of me that I bring in Islam and complications when someone is adopting an orphan and forget when I am bribing an official or asking for undue favors or deciding the age of thirteen old girl to marry, when there is rampant corruption and I am part of it, when there is injustice and I don't raise voice against it, when the rape victim burns herself alive and I don't care, when ignorant idiots are leaders and I kill others for him? But hey no wait before adopting some orphan deprived child let us see what Islam has to say about whether he/she is Mehram or Na Mehram............................ Yeah sure why not let him / her rot in that orphanage because he / she will turn out to be Na Mehram when he / she grows up, why worry if he / she can become a good human and a better Muslim by adopting him / her.

we never forget g achay buray log muashray main hotay hay aur insaniat allah se barh kar aur kon sikhata hay? bribe k waqt b log awaz uthatay hain agar unhain pata chalay achay buray log hain mana magr sirf burai ke ziada honay ki wajah se achai main kami karna koi aqalmandi b to nai REGARDs

 

[I.R.A]

No not after growing up from day one you have to call child with his or her fathers name.

Tell me brother suppose a scenario one fine day I am walking home and I hear a crying infant near a heap of garbage, someone left that child there, may be unwanted child, what should I do? Stop and pick up the child or pretend I have heard nothing? Suppose it is that moment when ALLAH has made my heart go soft and filled with kindness, I pick up the child and bring him/her home with me, I raise him/her and treat that child like my own ................. now he / she is an adult what should I tell that child, I don't know who the parents are or were ................ should I tell him/her I found you on a heap of garbage and you are an unwanted child and you are blessed to have him walking by there? For ALLAH's sake don't make simple things that rigid and complicated, the legal documents are enough to mention that for the child. Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

 

[Zain Ul Abideen Trimzy]

Tell me brother suppose a scenario one fine day I am walking home and I hear a crying infant near a heap of garbage, someone left that child there, may be unwanted child, what should I do? Stop and pick up the child or pretend I have heard nothing? Suppose it is that moment when ALLAH has made my heart go soft and filled with kindness, I pick up the child and bring him/her home with me, I raise him/her and treat that child like my own ................. now he / she is an adult what should I tell that child, I don't know who the parents are or were ................ should I tell him/her I found you on a heap of garbage and you are an unwanted child and you are blessed to have him walking by there? For ALLAH's sake don't make simple things that rigid and complicated, the legal documents are enough to mention that for the child. Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

ur thinking it to be complecated it isnt acually if u have his fathers name u can call with his fathers name but if there isnt a name its majboori and islamic principles only apply when ur able. in this situation ur unable to know whats his fathers name then its well and good no need for his fathers name

 

[acetophenol]

Hi all,

I have a son who just turned 3 and is about to start going school in coming 6 months (hopefully), so its time to think about expanding the family.

After thinking about this, I've decided to adopt a child instead of going for our own child (2 kids in total are all I want). Luckily, my wife's always been the first one to support me in every tough decision, so here again she has understood my point of view and agreed. Honestly, I had bit of tough time convincing my dad but in the end all's perfectly fine as we all are agreed about all the responsibility and stuff that comes with a child adoption.

Why I decided to adopt a child, well I remember as a child that my mom always wanted to adopt an orphan cousin of mine but my father (due to some family conflicts and other issues) never agreed, and he had valid reasons. So I've always had it in me (thanks to my mom), always wanted to adopt a child and raise him as my own along with my own kids.

---

Now the problem is, after convincing my entire family I still have no idea about how to proceed with this plan. Not sure where should I consult or contact for child adoption. I know there are organizations like Edhi etc but I want suggestions about the legal process as well. Unfortunately, none of my close relatives or friends have adopted anyone so I'm unable to find valuable assistance hence here I am asking you guys.

Do let me know if there are any centers or organizations in Lahore (where I live) where I should contact, and how to proceed with the process. Like I've said, I want complete custody of the child as I want to raise him as my own. Boy or girl doesn't matter, cast / ethnicity - I don't buy these things. Ideally the child should be less than 1.5 years old so we can groom him as we want.




@Jzaib @Jango @Armstrong @jaibi @Tameem @WAJsal @Color_Less_Sky @Irfan Baloch @Bratva @Hyperion @Leader @Shamain @notorious_eagle

I have respect for you and your family bro,a bold and courageous decision it is!

I am not aware of the legal proceedings in Pakistan,but there are consequences regarding the child and yourselves as they grow up,may god give you the strength to overcome it.

If you have no idea about the issues faced by adopted children as they grow up,please know about them as its the most important thing.