Man fined, jailed over second marriage without first wife’s permission

[war&peace]

Why you wish to hide it from your first wife?

I don't have a one...not first ...not even zeroth wife

But it is not about hiding, you can tell her. But the husband simply doesn't need the permission and perhaps you would know that when people are not shamed or made feel guilty, they like to own things and be very upfront with it so not only he will tell her rather invite her to his marriage and by the way the second marriage won't be secretly held in a cave, it will be public because he is not doing anything wrong.

I am married ......... healthy ALHAMDOLILA, potent and have children, I do get attracted to women like any other normal male ......but I have zero intention of marrying a virgin girl in current situation ..... only if someday there is a situation where I need to take three more women in my nikah to safeguard them I will tell my wife why is it necessary and why its my religious duty ..... is this enough to prove my logic?

Good to know and Allah bless you, your wife and children and have a happy life.. People here get personal when someone differs with them..not me, I may sound very angry and may even use strong words I never become an enemy.
Remember one thing, if you ever marry more women/girls, remember you have to be fair and assess in all honesty that you can do it. Mentally, physically and financially. You can't leave your existing wife in a lurch. She maintains all the rights over you as she had before your second marriage... and you have to discuss with her a sharing plan, the time, the money...so this answers your first negative question too... how can you hide it from her when you have to discuss every detail of sharing with her and come up with plan...so no secrets.

Okay convince me ........... and please keep this haram shooting gun aside. Lets see.

I can only try... is Allah Almighty who guides whom He wills but as submitter of my will to His, I will try to put some facts..it is up to you to take it or leave it.. I'm under no obligation to convince anyone except within reasonable bounds of human effort and that's the beauty of Islam.

 

[I.R.A]

But it is not about hiding, you can tell her. But the husband simply doesn't need the permission and perhaps you would know that when people are not shamed or made feel guilty, they like to own things and be very upfront with it so not only he will tell her rather invite her to his marriage and by the way the second marriage won't be secretly held in a cave, it will be public because he is not doing anything wrong.

Its all about the intent, if your intent is good you won't have problems discussing it with anyone including your wife, but if the intent is guilty without any reasonable justification you are most probably going to hide it ............ and my opposition to free for all polygamy mainly comes from the fact that our Pakistani male society is not marrying multiple women because they feel its now religiously compulsory ......... but because they are high on curiosity hormone. I am a person who has been exposed too much to the daily evil that happens in our society, I have seen perfectly pious looking males visiting **** sites in office timing, talking dirty, discussing their marriage affairs in open, going nuts over every other woman they see. There may be good men out there too......

Remember one thing, if you ever marry more women/girls, remember you have to be fair and assess in all honesty that you can do it. Mentally, physically and financially. You can't leave your existing wife in a lurch. She maintains all the rights over you as she had before your second marriage... and you have to discuss with her a sharing plan, the time, the money...so this answers your first negative question too... how can you hide it from her when you have to discuss every detail of sharing with her and come up with plan...so no secrets.

I am not crazy or I haven't lost my mind yet .......... all of them are same, educated non educated ..... and there is no need for me to add to my burden of responsibility, I have to account for my actions on the judgement day ............ the circumstances are not such that I am religiously bound to marry more than once ....... Aik bohat hay bai.

I can only try... is Allah Almighty who guides whom He wills but as submitter of my will to His, I will try to put some facts..it is up to you to take it or leave it.. I'm under no obligation to convince anyone except within reasonable bounds of human effort and that's the beauty of Islam.

Marriage is like any other contract between to mature consenting parties. And everything that applies to any other contract applies here as well .......... I am all eyes to read your response.

 

[Zarvan]

Muhammad Peace be upon him married Khadija May ALLAH be pleased with her, when he was 25 years old. The marriage lasted 25 years and throughout this relation it was monogamous ........ and they two had six children together.

Main points to note for the stubborn headed extremist mullahs

• Khadija was a widow with children at that time and older than Muhammad Peace be upon him
• Khadija sent a proposal to Muhammad Peace be upon him after witnessing his honesty, truthfulness and success in handling her business
• Khadija was known as Ameerat-Quraysh (Princess of Quraysh), Muhammad initially showed reluctance but when he was assured that Khadija is financially stable and could take care of herself he agreed.
• Ali Ibn Talib was also amongst other children who were being raised in their house

The virgin argument and keeping women chained in houses ..... well.

Muhammad Peace be upon married Ayesha May ALLAH be pleased with her, at the time when He peace be upon him had no one to take care of his household, because nearly all the other women he married were widows and elderly. Ayesha on her own will presented herself to share the burden of Muhammad Peace be upon him. Those were the times when numbers of believers was picking pace and most of Muhammad's peace be upon him time was spent training and educating those people. These newly converted people included a significant number of women who also needed education about Islam, and Ayesha at that time took this responsibility to educate those women ....... and no she wasn't 9 years old contrary to some ignorant shameless hearsay reporting that, she was minimum 19 years old and according to some accounts she was already a widow and aged 42 years. However, this much is confirmed that she was already engaged when she wished to marry Muhammad Peace be upon him for the sake of sharing the burden and duties. And her intelligence proved that she was the best person for that role. There are no accounts to confirm if Muhammad and Ayesha had any children together.

Kuch khauf kar molvi ............ virgin aurto say shadia richanay ka koi aur bahana dhoond.



I have no logic to argue with well wisher and savior of virgin women .......... for me its the perverted mentality high on curiosity hormone. No wonder children get sexually abused in places like madressa. I won't blame you because the material you read and consult is full of this.



Every permission in Islam is conditional ......... I think you haven't understood the phrase "Aur hud say guzar jany walo may say hargiz na ho jana" (don't be the people who transgress and cross limits) ........ repeated again and again in Quran. But again who am I trying to fool, if you had your way, you would implement Qital and argue its permission is not conditional.



إِنَّا لِلّهِ وَإِنَّـا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعونَ‎‎

You think ................ buddy most probably you have no idea of how a parallel religion to Islam, guised as Islam was raised and propagated, and how most of the Muslims strictly believe in that ridiculous illogical religion ......... despite Quran being present in their homes.



My excuse is just treatment for every human including women ......... what is your excuse? stubbornness?

I can just wish that you and others like you don't propagate these ideas on social media sites and in real life, not that I am afraid this brings bad name to Muslims or Islam ......... just that this thinking scares away the people who are looking for true message of Islam.

This is what happens when you have no idea about history. Which dumbo told you that Hazrat Khadijda used to go out of house. She hardly used to leave house and yes she sent the proposal but it was her brother and her loyal servants who used to run Business she used hardly go out in fact many women in Arab world used to go out but she hardly used to. And we all at which age he married her and what happened. Real thing for those fools bringing permission here is when RASOOL SAW left this world he had 9 wives at that time and all together. Also all the Sahabas pretty much all of them had more than one wife, and none of them took permission from first wife. RASOOL SAW could have married for many reasons still that doesn't bring that he took permission from any of the wife, secondly Sahabas also married and the women they married I mean 2nd and third and 4th wives first they didn't took permission from first wives and secondly not all women they married were widows or in need of help to be rescued. Many were virgins. And the proof that Hazrat Ayesha RA was 19 years old is not strong her being around 10 is way more stronger now if you want to fall for that to please west than your choice. And source of her being 19 I can even tell you that is the history book written by Hafiz Ibn Kaseer same guy who wrote world famous Tafseer Ibn Kaseer. we would keep propagating these ideas every where because they are what Islam is and we don't change them to please west and satisfy our Nafs. And ALLAH knew better about women rights and his RASOOL SAW and his Sahabas that is ALLAH And his RASOOL SAW gave permission and that is why many Sahabas had more than one wife. You don't know what is better of humans or women specifically more than ALLAH and his RASOOL SAW.

 

[war&peace]

Its all about the intent, if your intent is good you won't have problems discussing it with anyone including your wife, but if the intent is guilty without any reasonable justification you are most probably going to hide it ............ and my opposition to free for all polygamy mainly comes from the fact that our Pakistani male society is not marrying multiple women because they feel its now religiously compulsory ......... but because they are high on curiosity hormone. I am a person who has been exposed too much to the daily evil that happens in our society, I have seen perfectly pious looking males visiting **** sites in office timing, talking dirty, discussing their marriage affairs in open, going nuts over every other woman they see. There may be good men out there too......



I am not crazy or I haven't lost my mind yet .......... all of them are same, educated non educated ..... and there is no need for me to add to my burden of responsibility, I have to account for my actions on the judgement day ............ the circumstances are not such that I am religiously bound to marry more than once ....... Aik bohat hay bai.



Marriage is like any other contract between to mature consenting parties. And everything that applies to any other contract applies here as well .......... I am all eyes to read your response.

I thought you will learn something and perhaps act like a normal person but you have no idea of the religion, morality, human rights and history. All your "facts" (replace "r" with "c") and you ability to lie and distort the facts is really disgusting. For example where did I say it is compulsory for men to marry more? why you have this constant urge to lie and distort words. Really disgusting!!! wish you hard luck

 

[I.R.A]

This is what happens when you have no idea about history. Which dumbo told you that Hazrat Khadijda used to go out of house. She hardly used to leave house and yes she sent the proposal but it was her brother and her loyal servants who used to run Business she used hardly go out in fact many women in Arab world used to go out but she hardly used to. And we all at which age he married her and what happened. Real thing for those fools bringing permission here is when RASOOL SAW left this world he had 9 wives at that time and all together. Also all the Sahabas pretty much all of them had more than one wife, and none of them took permission from first wife. RASOOL SAW could have married for many reasons still that doesn't bring that he took permission from any of the wife, secondly Sahabas also married and the women they married I mean 2nd and third and 4th wives first they didn't took permission from first wives and secondly not all women they married were widows or in need of help to be rescued. Many were virgins. And the proof that Hazrat Ayesha RA was 19 years old is not strong her being around 10 is way more stronger now if you want to fall for that to please west than your choice. And source of her being 19 I can even tell you that is the history book written by Hafiz Ibn Kaseer same guy who wrote world famous Tafseer Ibn Kaseer. we would keep propagating these ideas every where because they are what Islam is and we don't change them to please west and satisfy our Nafs. And ALLAH knew better about women rights and his RASOOL SAW and his Sahabas that is ALLAH And his RASOOL SAW gave permission and that is why many Sahabas had more than one wife. You don't know what is better of humans or women specifically more than ALLAH and his RASOOL SAW.

Molvi may ub tumhay kaisay smjao bai ................. ? yeh ayat parh aur koshish kar smjnay ki kay Islam aur Quran aik shadi ko kitni ehmiat daita hy.

"And if a woman fears from her husband contempt or evasion, there is no sin upon them if they make terms of settlement between them - and settlement is best. And present in [human] souls is stinginess. But if you do good and fear Allah - then indeed Allah is ever, with what you do, Acquainted." 4:128

I thought you will learn something and perhaps act like a normal person but you have no idea of the religion, morality, human rights and history. All your "facts" (replace "r" with "c") and you ability to lie and distort the facts is really disgusting. For example where did I say it is compulsory for men to marry more? why you have this constant urge to lie and distort words. Really disgusting!!! wish you hard luck

You are a highly unstable person ......... please add me back to your ignore list. Thanks.

 

[Zarvan]

Molvi may ub tumhay kaisay smjao bai ................. ? yeh ayat parh aur koshish kar smjnay ki kay Islam aur Quran aik shadi ko kitni ehmiat daita hy.

"And if a woman fears from her husband contempt or evasion, there is no sin upon them if they make terms of settlement between them - and settlement is best. And present in [human] souls is stinginess. But if you do good and fear Allah - then indeed Allah is ever, with what you do, Acquainted." 4:128







You are a highly unstable person ......... please add me back to your ignore list. Thanks.

I know still that doesn't make this law Halal or that to get 2nd wife you have to take permission from your first wife. Now if you want to totally change the meaning of ayats or distort them to suit your narrative your choice but still no law in Islam which says you have to take permission from first wife to marry 2nd one or third or 4th one and I know How much importance ALLAH gives to marriage that is why Divorce is least liked things among all the Halal things. Still permission of first wife is not needed.

 

[PakSword]

 

[Verve]

Some people justify that a man marries for the second time out of lust.. and he beats his first wife and doesn't give rights to her and his children from her.

Men who know themselves know quite well that lust is part of the first marriage as well. Those women who think that the second marriage is out of lust should know that she is with him because there is lust involved.

No man (or may be most of them) want to marry an ugly divorced/ widow older woman having 10 children just to support her. Men as I know, prefer young beautiful unmarried ladies. Is it not the lust?

Man will remain the man.. feminists try that a man forgets his basic instincts and start behaving differently. This will not happen.

And this problem is not a big problem in Pakistan.. How many men have we seen in our lives who have married twice (forget about three or four wives).

More than that, the problem is that more men go to Heera Mandi and do Haraam things than those who marry. These women are fine with that because they don't know about it.. and even when they know, they still try to remain with them because they know no one will marry them once they are divorced. They are fine when they know that the man has wasted an awful lot of money in Heera Mandi.. but they are not fine when a man marries legally and gives equal rights to everyone..

Anyway, fact of the matter is that, one out of maybe 1000 people do second marriage, and more than one do Haraam things as I have noticed. And this is applicable in Western countries as well, where men and women prefer to live without marriage or even if they are married, they have illegitimate relations and the ratio is quite high than the ratio of second marriage in our country.

More than that, I am astonished to see that if a man/ woman is found to be unfaithful, there is no punishment in the west, but a man who has married legally and registered his marriage in Pakistan without the permission of the first wife is punished with fine or imprisonment, or both..

Why does a man start looking for a second/new wife?

This is one question that many females simply do not want to look into, and that too seriously. Lust is such an easy excuse to blame men with so brain stops processing anything beyond that.

Firstly I am no pro wife number 2,3 etc. I believe one is enough as doing complete justice and treating equally would be a near impossible task (for me at least) so I do not even think along those lines.

Coming back to the question, what drives a man to look for another wife requires awareness of what's all happened/happening in that marriage.

So let's dive in to this and hopefully this will be somewhat an eye opener for some (inc the female posters). Bear in mind that this is a man's perspective. I'm not anti-woman as some may believe.

Let's tackle the issue of lust. I would instead call this sexual attraction between husband and wife.

Men are sexually attracted to their wives if there is sakoon (peace) and happiness in the house. A household that has a lot of arguments and fights between the couple, one can be assured that this attraction has either eroded completely or eroding rapidly. Fights & arguments lead to one of the two disconnecting sexually, and then that leads to other things. Disconnect can be by man or woman or both.

For a man, this intimacy is a critical need and for some reason (that's not unknown however) most women are just oblivious to it. It is part of our makeup, we were designed this way so there is no one in the world who can change that! Women folk need to get this firmly in their heads. Starving a man of sexual intimacy will lead to disaster, no two ways about it! A content man will never look at outside option(s), he doesn't need to as his inbuilt need is being satisfactorily met at home!

Let's get the 'for some reason most women are just oblivious to it' bit out of the way. My understanding is that the sexual drive of men is a lot higher than women (in most cases). And it is very easy for women to go off sex (or not be interested to begin with) for long periods of time whereas that is not the case for men. It is a NEED for men, it is not for women.

Also, a wife from a female dominant family marrying the husband from a male dominant family is plainly asking for trouble. A wife who wants to control her husband forcefully will drive her husband by such acts herself to another woman's arms.

Hopefully that would explain the so called 'lust' element. The primary reasons for a man going or wanting to go to another woman is for comfort, peace and intimacy he is not getting at home.

Now, why would a man want a second wife when the divorce option is open?

This could be due to having his children from the first wife or due to other pressures to retain that marriage. This is where the sickness of our culture comes in as well. The 'honour' bit is more important for the elders thus forcing two incompatible people to live miserably together.

Yes there are men who are not sexually satisfied with one ... but there are not THAT many. Nymphos in both gender exist all over the world but they are surely a very small number.

This law doesn't fix anything. I'm more in favour of case by case approvals.

 

[Well.wisher]

Why does a man start looking for a second/new wife?

This is one question that many females simply do not want to look into, and that too seriously. Lust is such an easy excuse to blame men with so brain stops processing anything beyond that.

Firstly I am no pro wife number 2,3 etc. I believe one is enough as doing complete justice and treating equally would be a near impossible task (for me at least) so I do not even think along those lines.

Coming back to the question, what drives a man to look for another wife requires awareness of what's all happened/happening in that marriage.

So let's dive in to this and hopefully this will be somewhat an eye opener for some (inc the female posters). Bear in mind that this is a man's perspective. I'm not anti-woman as some may believe.

Let's tackle the issue of lust. I would instead call this sexual attraction between husband and wife.

Men are sexually attracted to their wives if there is sakoon (peace) and happiness in the house. A household that has a lot of arguments and fights between the couple, one can be assured that this attraction has either eroded completely or eroding rapidly. Fights & arguments lead to one of the two disconnecting sexually, and then that leads to other things. Disconnect can be by man or woman or both.

For a man, this intimacy is a critical need and for some reason (that's not unknown however) most women are just oblivious to it. It is part of our makeup, we were designed this way so there is no one in the world who can change that! Women folk need to get this firmly in their heads. Starving a man of sexual intimacy will lead to disaster, no two ways about it! A content man will never look at outside option(s), he doesn't need to as his inbuilt need is being satisfactorily met at home!

Let's get the 'for some reason most women are just oblivious to it' bit out of the way. My understanding is that the sexual drive of men is a lot higher than women (in most cases). And it is very easy for women to go off sex (or not be interested to begin with) for long periods of time whereas that is not the case for men. It is a NEED for men, it is not for women.

Also, a wife from a female dominant family marrying the husband from a male dominant family is plainly asking for trouble. A wife who wants to control her husband forcefully will drive her husband by such acts herself to another woman's arms.

Hopefully that would explain the so called 'lust' element. The primary reasons for a man going or wanting to go to another woman is for comfort, peace and intimacy he is not getting at home.

Now, why would a man want a second wife when the divorce option is open?

This could be due to having his children from the first wife or due to other pressures to retain that marriage. This is where the sickness of our culture comes in as well. The 'honour' bit is more important for the elders thus forcing two incompatible people to live miserably together.

Yes there are men who are not sexually satisfied with one ... but there are not THAT many. Nymphos in both gender exist all over the world but they are surely a very small number.

This law doesn't fix anything. I'm more in favour of case by case approvals.

Still , second marriages are frowned upon in this soceity and I hope that it remains this way . Completely ban .

View attachment 435501

Hahahaha ..
Zindaabaad.

 

[Verve]

Still , second marriages are frowned upon in this soceity and I hope that it remains this way . Completely ban .

This society has a lot of Hindu traditions as well ... shall those stay too?

Heck, gora has more sense than us when it comes to wedding expenditures! You think that kind of stupid spending should stay too? Is that Islamic?

This society has a lot of traditions that are completely against Islam .... but hey, society comes first, right?

 

[Well.wisher]

This society has a lot of Hindu traditions as well ... shall those stay too?

Heck, gora has more sense than us when it comes to wedding expenditures! You think that kind of stupid spending should stay too? Is that Islamic?

This society has a lot of traditions that are completely against Islam .... but hey, society comes first, right?

It's actually the only one thing I would like about my soceity if they keep on frowning on second marriages . Arabs r conformable with polygamy not us .. so let us remain uncomfortable with it .

 

[Verve]

It's actually the only one thing I would like about my soceity if they keep on frowning on second marriages . Arabs r conformable with polygamy not us .. so let us remain uncomfortable with it .

Ban will do no good if one of the two wants out. Those who want a second wife will divorce the first and move on. Until the state can provide for the divorcee then it will only hurt women. And you know how 'this society' treats divorced women!

You being a woman, I can understand your stance. But there are women out there too who are willing to give the consent as well, without force, and they are also part of the society.

 

[Well.wisher]

Ban will do no good if one of the two wants out. Those who want a second wife will divorce the first and move on. Until the state can provide for the divorcee then it will only hurt women. And you know how 'this society' treats divorced women!

You being a woman, I can understand your stance. But there are women out there too who are willing to give the consent as well, without force, and they are also part of the society.

Have seen enough of such bechaari women who turn out to be a btch later .

 

[Verve]

Have seen enough of such bechaari women who turn out to be a btch later .

It takes two to clap ... and divorce is never a 100% fault of one ... bechara ya bechari is based on the biases of the one sympathising ... no one wants to admit their own faults and victim card is played by both sides. I have seen both heartbroken crying men and women. One can only pray for the healing of their pain.

Again, the law is not what it should be. Biwi No 1/2/3/4 are still under the protection of the husband and this wonderful society doesn't point that many fingers at a married woman versus a divorced one living on her own. I have seen some of these marriages last the lifetime, where each wife has a home of her own. There must be some horrible failures too, I'm sure.

 

[Well.wisher]

It takes two to clap ... and divorce is never a 100% fault of one ... bechara ya bechari is based on the biases of the one sympathising ... no one wants to admit their own faults and victim card is played by both sides. I have seen both heartbroken crying men and women. One can only pray for the healing of their pain.

Again, the law is not what it should be. Biwi No 1/2/3/4 are still under the protection of the husband and this wonderful society doesn't point that many fingers at a married woman versus a divorced one living on her own. I have seen some of these marriages last the lifetime, where each wife has a home of her own. There must be some horrible failures too, I'm sure.

This soceity amazes me , a divorcee man is never questioned , but a divorcee woman will always be questioned .