Lucky I wasn't raped and murdered: Read Haryana IAS officer's daughter's harrowing tale

[salarsikander]

Why not?

My wife is a working-women.


You need to carry this discussion like an adult, not attack me in person. Understand?

I am not supposed to patronize your views, blindly.

I am being very respectful to you but you need to watch your language.

I understand that I am talking to someone who is frustrated but not A gentleman. Its ok You will learn in due course. Everything takes time. I conclude this by saying that I wouldnt expect a gentleman to compare the fragility and delicacy of woman with masculinity of MEN.
That is plain absurd. But then again I was expecting too much here

 

[LeGenD]

I understand that I am talking to someone who is frustrated but not A gentleman. Its ok You will learn in due course. Everything takes time. I conclude this by saying that I wouldnt expect a gentleman to compare the fragility and delicacy of woman with masculinity of me. That is plain absurd. But then again I was expecting too much here

Frustrated with what? Allah Almighty have tested me but also given me a lot.

I am a gentleman but my tolerance runs thin for attitude and jabs. You tend to look at things from your perspective only and assume that others are stupid or egotistic. You are wrong.

You think women are not strong? You haven't come across a strong woman yet, perhaps [mentally or in position-of-power]. Some women are strong enough to nip your masculinity in the bud (mine too). So spare me the masculinity mantra.

 

[salarsikander]

You think women are not strong? You haven't seen a strong woman yet.

No, I actually have seen my daughters. As for comparison, I havent seen a gentleman actually asking and demanding woman to stand and share his manly responsibility for comparison. That is not very gentleman type. For starters if our youngs ones learn to respect to woman, the world has hope

 

[duhastmish]

Perhaps that is why men are what they are. Sticking to the topic of male dominating society question you asked. So would you be confident enough that some lady, your sister or mother going out from house to work in a normal office where men totally outnumber ladies as pretty safe ? Since you do not consider pakistan make dominating society

I understand that I am talking to someone who is frustrated but not A gentleman. Its ok You will learn in due course. Everything takes time. I conclude this by saying that I wouldnt expect a gentleman to compare the fragility and delicacy of woman with masculinity of MEN.
That is plain absurd. But then again I was expecting too much here

dear you explained well.but you probably expected too much from too little of a man.

 

[LeGenD]

No, I actually have seen my daughters. As for comparison, I havent seen a gentleman actually asking and demanding woman to stand and share his manly responsibility for comparison. That is not very gentleman type. For starters if our youngs ones learn to respect to woman, the world has hope

Sir,

You have a very patriarchal perception of women. This is what I gather from your posts. You see women as weak and vulnerable who deserve special treatment. I have a more realistic perception of things, based on my life-experiences.

dear you explained well.but you probably expected too much from too little of a man.

Watch your language.

 

[salarsikander]

This is what I gather from your posts.

Lack of vision and experience in this regards will only show you limited picture. I wouldnt blame you here

 

[LeGenD]

Lack of vision and experience in this regards will only show you limited picture. I wouldnt blame you here

And you have seen it all, right?

I believe in strength of women. They are just as capable of handling themselves as men in various walks of life. It all comes down to their mental conditioning.

 

[salarsikander]

dear you explained well.but you probably expected too much from too little of a man.

I concur my expectation at this stage were too high. It seems our youngs have lost the touch of class that existed before

And you have seen it all, right?

I believe in strength of women. They are just as capable of handling themselves as men in many walks of life. It all comes down to their mental conditioning.

Hence, the conclusion that expecting a fragile female to stand equally against man as ridiculous, totally discounting the equity factor in here. I shall bother you no more and pray that we all get Guidance. Amen

 

[LeGenD]

I concur my expectation at this stage were too high. It seems our youngs have lost the touch of class that existed before

You are confusing class (and chivalry) with lack of potential in women.

 

[duhastmish]

I concur my expectation at this stage were too high. It seems our youngs have lost the touch of class that existed before

problem is they are too young. we might have failed in growing them as parents like our parents did great job raising us.

summing up things like you beautifully said he will understand the day he fathers a daughter. and i like what u said earlier. the picture i get of your daughters are brave fighters with that level of haya. i see the future is bright for our world. god bless your kids and family.

 

[salarsikander]

You are confusing class (and chivalry) with lack of potential in women.

And you cannot think beyond petty comparisons with female in this regards because you find that equally comparing woman is correct. We all draw up our conclusions from our surroundings.

 

[LeGenD]

Hence, the conclusion that expecting a fragile female to stand equally against man as ridiculous, totally discounting the equity factor in here. I shall bother you no more and pray that we all get Guidance. Amen

Fragile female? This is a patriarchal perception (I am telling you but you not paying heed).

What kind of equity you are referring to? I believe in equality (of opportunity) for men and women but fairness in evaluation.

problem is they are too young. we might have failed in growing them as parents like our parents did great job raising us.

summing up things like you beautifully said he will understand the day he fathers a daughter. and i like what u said earlier. the picture i get of your daughters are brave fighters with that level of haya. i see the future is bright for our world. god bless your kids and family.

You done with your pointless patronizing?

What are you trying to convey here? If I have a daughter, I will take good care of her. However, I will instill confidence in her and prepare her for expected challenges of life instead of making her too fragile for her own good. She should be confident enough to carry herself in various walks of life without a male-guardian accompanying her in every situation.

Here is a reality: humans are fragile beings. Mentioned in Holy Quran.

Should somebody shoot you (God forbid), you are likely to drop dead on the spot. Your masculinity will be bust in a moment's notice. Don't pretend that you can protect anybody.

 

[salarsikander]

summing up things like you beautifully said he will understand the day he fathers a daughter. and i like what u said earlier. the picture i get of your daughters are brave fighters with that level of haya. i see the future is bright for our world. god bless your kids and family.

Thank you very much for those kinds words indeed. I just tried to play my part in raising them as good human beings thats all.
It is the fragile ones that need special attention and care, the tough ones can take care of themselves with a little push.

What kind of equity you are referring to? I believe in equality (of opportunity) for men and women but fairness in evaluation.

I pray to lord that this pictographs in all its simplicity tries its best to explain you...

Mentioned in Holy Quran.

Do also mention that what is expected of men and women separately

 

[LeGenD]

I pray to lord that this pictographs in all its simplicity tries its best to explain you...

Do you take me for an illiterate?

The image on the right makes sense. One needs to be pragmatic and realistic in assessment of things, not idealistic.

Now, I have a question for you:

If the smallest child on the right was FEMALE? Would she deserve that treatment more then a MALE or both should be awarded that treatment?

Do also mention that what is expected of men and women separately

You tell me.

 

[salarsikander]

If the smallest child on the right was FEMALE? Would she deserve that treatment more then a MALE or both should be awarded that treatment?

One needs to be pragmatic and realistic in assessment of things.

You tell me.

I cant. You have left me totally outmatched with your experience. I feel like all this time that i was raising my daughters for 24 years all gone to waste.