Is Marriage Worth It For Women?The benefits go mostly to men.

[Raja.Pakistani]

Well I think the word man means that he has to take the responsibility and Alhamdulillah I have achieved that independence and status through the effort that I can support my future family a decent and respectable living and this should be incumbent on all men who want to marry. Otherwise they are not men and are not ready to get married and should fast their life away until they become capable. For example, for me the concept of dowry prevalent in Pakistan is disgusting and the man who demands this from his wife is NOT a man and he still needs a feeder to grow up. And my ideal wife is who wants stay home, dressed in a beautiful dress and smells great.....not vegetables because she just came from her job to took a meal for me. She can do a job if she has some vocational/professional education but family must come first since I don't need her money and I can bear all her expenses even a few trips to Milano and Zurich. So my wife will get each and every amenity of life when she steps into my house since I already own them Alhamdulillah.

Thanks for describing the word "Joru"....That is really not acceptable...A man should be loving and caring but not like a servant but like a husband. In the end she has to listen her husband (if he fulfils the criteria) or we part the ways.

There are many men in our society who don demand any dowry but still parent of girls give something to their daughters as it has became some sort of tradition now. I personally feel sorry for those poor parent who are forced to give something to their daughters whether gold or household things because of this pressure of society where dowry is considered a norm. There is also a difference between married life before kids and after kids. Your ideal wife may do all these lovely.caring things for you before having kids when she is alone with plenty of spare time but after kids its not easy to find time for yourself and your partner then kids become first priorities . I am struggling in this phase now as i feel i am not getting as much attention as earlier

There are all sort of people with different preferences. Some people want wife who share some of their responsibility and is little bit independent and smart instead of someone naive/innocent who rely on husband for every single thing just like those lil kids who has no clue of world around them. Its not all about money but smart enough to do shopping, to give advice to husband and to give proper guidance to children and to manage certain task on her own instead of waiting for husband to do that..

Jorro ka ghulam is labelled mostly given by mother to those sons who are just too much caring and loving to their partner and they consider it weakness of man out of may be jealousy or possessiveness because married sons cannot give that much time to their parent, sibling and friends which they used to give before marriage so here is another test how you keep balance between all these relationship

 

[livingdead]

Marriage might benefit men more than women but incase of divorce(and considering the fact a huge % of marriage end in divorce in west, and east will catch up once women get equal rights) men get to lose a lot compared to women.
And a prenupt is not a perfect solution, many times people dont do as it looks bad, also judge can throw out a prenupt and decide how much to give to woman.

The current law makes men much more averse to marriage. Indian law went one step further and attached husband's parental property in divorce settlement(not sure it was passed or not) which is ridiculous.

 

[war&peace]

here are many men in our society who don demands dowry but still parent of girls give something to their daughters as it has became some sort of tradition now. I personally feel sorry for those poor parent who are forced to give something to their daughters whether gold or household things because of this pressure of society where dowry is considered a norm. There is also a difference between married life before kids and after kids. Your ideal wife may do these things for you when she is alone with plenty of spare time but after kids its not easy to find time for yourself and your partner then kids become first priorities . I am struggling in this phase now as i feel i am not getting as much attention as earlier

As far as gifts are concerned, those are okay but still those should be little things as per their financial status, like some dresses for her, perfume, cosmetics exclusive for her. But if they are giving a car....I would perhaps turn it down politely by telling that my garage already has two cars one for me and one for your daughter...so may be later but not on the wedding day. This way we can eliminate this disgraceful practice of dowry slowly and steadily.
Yes you are right after kids priorities naturally change but if she is not doing a job and staying home, she can find some time to take care of herself and if she really wants to do job then she can compensate by hiring a chef and a maid but then i wonder there would be little saving for her. By the way, the responsibility of the man in Islam is also limited to the basic needs according to their status...basically the problems are created when wife becomes too materialistic and starts to long for every other stuff she sees on TV or in her friends home...I mean even the richest person cannot afford all that and that is not the responsibility of the man and if she wants all that, she can do the job and earn it.

There are all sort of people with different preferences. some people want wife who share their responsibility and is little bit independent and smart instead of someone naive/innocent who rely on husband for every single thing just like kids who has no clue of world around them. Its not all about money but smart enough to do shopping, to give advice to husband and to give proper guidance to children and to manage certain task on her own instaed of wiating for husband to do that..

Well I want an independent smart woman but that does not mean she has to support me or our family. As far as, the job is concerned, she may do especially if she has a appropriate background or she feels she should work...it is no problem as long as it does not disturb the family life...and even better is if I take the responsibility of finances then she can find a much better job that suits her needs instead of accepting whatever has been thrown at her. I would rather support her to start her own business so that she can be more independent and work according to her own will.....that means a smart and independent woman.

Jorro ka ghulam is labelled mostly given by mother to those sons who are just too much caring and loving to their partner and they consider it weakness of man out of may be jealousy or possessiveness because married sons cannot give that much time to their parent, sibling and friends which they used to give before marriage so here is another test how you keep balance between all these relationship

That is unjust also. Though I don't want to be dictated by my wife, but surely I will be caring and loving and help her since she my partner. I may even cook for her if falls sick or even bring children from school if she can't drive that day. They are physically weaker than us and we can help them without pitying. I really don't care what people say as long as my family life is good

@Ammara Chaudhry I really don't have any issues and you can read my thoughts above

 

[Moonlight]

As far as gifts are concerned, those are okay but still those should be little things as per their financial status, like some dresses for her, perfume, cosmetics exclusive for her. But if they are giving a car....I would perhaps turn it down politely by telling that my garage already has two cars one for me and one for your daughter...so may be later but not on the wedding day. This way we can eliminate this disgraceful practice of dowry slowly and steadily.
Yes you are right after kids priorities naturally change but if she is not doing a job and staying home, she can find some time to take care of herself and if she really wants to do job then she can compensate by hiring a chef and a maid but then i wonder there would be little saving for her. By the way, the responsibility of the man in Islam is also limited to the basic needs according to their status...basically the problems are created when wife becomes too materialistic and starts to long for every other stuff she sees on TV or in her friends home...I mean even the richest person cannot afford all that and that is not the responsibility of the man and if she wants all that, she can do the job and earn it.

Well I want an independent smart woman but that does not mean she has to support me or our family. As far as, the job is concerned, she may do especially if she has a appropriate background or she feels she should work...it is no problem as long as it does not disturb the family life...and even better is if I take the responsibility of finances then she can find a much better job that suits her needs instead of accepting whatever has been thrown at her. I would rather support her to start her own business so that she can be more independent and work according to her own will.....that means a smart and independent woman.

That is unjust also. Though I don't want to be dictated by my wife, but surely I will be caring and loving and help her since she my partner. I may even cook for her if falls sick or even bring children from school if she can't drive that day. They are physically weaker than us and we can help them without pitying. I really don't care what people say as long as my family life is good

@Ammara Chaudhry I really don't have any issues and you can read my thoughts above

Ok.

Just your robotic idea got me earlier.

 

[thesameguy]

both benefit.
did you know rich couples marry in the uk, this is becasue if they divorce the wealth is split in half. unless a prenupp is done before the marrage.


im guessing your married where your wife makes the call.

Radical feminist thread

 

[takeiteasy]

For a marriage, The first condition must be - Man is the head of the family. Not otherwise. The much hated Patriarchy must be supported. It sounds archaic, but it is what works. (unlike western feminist values). Doesn't mean equality is not existing.

Maybe manginas will find this shocking. But as men, we deserves more, rather than falling for feminist/government propagandas ingraining inferiority in the name of equality as is the case with many in first world countries.

 

[Hyde]

Thanks, now the boss is going to show up and give my post a beating.
I reserve my opinions still, sorry brother @Aether.

Besides regular nonsense about the benefits of marriage, I totally agree with you actually... See I was a happy man 3 years ago... and now I think I will lose all my hair within 6 months... Don't remember when I smiled last time from the bottom of my heart... --- such is the case for every married man

 

[VCheng]

Besides regular nonsense about the benefits of marriage, I totally agree with you actually... See I was a happy man 3 years ago... and now I think I will lose all my hair within 6 months... Don't remember when I smiled last time from the bottom of my heart... --- such is the case for every married man

Haven't you heard the advice that "if if flies, floats, or f--ks, it is cheaper to rent than buy"?

 

[livingdead]

For a marriage, The first condition must be - Man is the head of the family. Not otherwise. The much hated Patriarchy must be supported. It sounds archaic, but it is what works. (unlike western feminist values). Doesn't mean equality is not existing.

how about mutual love and respect? Why should one be head, be it woman or man.

 

[Hyde]

Haven't you heard the advice that "if if flies, floats, or f--ks, it is cheaper to rent than buy"?

Marriage is only key to Sexsex... otherwise it truly is nowhere near to my famous life-long quote of "Marriage is a key to success". It only increases your tensions when you are depressed and but the advantage is, it really helps you in sharing your moments of happiness and joy.

 

[Indika]

See I was a happy man 3 years ago... and now I think I will lose all my hair within 6 months... Don't remember when I smiled last time from the bottom of my heart... --- such is the case for every married man

It helped you distinguish between being happy and unhappy. You know what true happiness is(bottom of your heart). You know you will lose hair, means you are becoming good at predicting the the future.

Well it has certainly made you a wise man.

 

[livingdead]

Besides regular nonsense about the benefits of marriage, I totally agree with you actually... See I was a happy man 3 years ago... and now I think I will lose all my hair within 6 months... Don't remember when I smiled last time from the bottom of my heart... --- such is the case for every married man

people wont be marrying if the marriage was terrible, it works for most people(both men and women). However divorce laws are a big problem in UK. 'It wont happen to me so does not matter' is not a good defense for bad law.

 

[CHN Bamboo]

For a marriage, The first condition must be - Man is the head of the family. Not otherwise. The much hated Patriarchy must be supported. It sounds archaic, but it is what works. (unlike western feminist values). Doesn't mean equality is not existing.

Disgusting.
Maybe women in ur country dont contribute much to economy so u say that.
And you stand for totally in man's interest,hehe.Ya,if women dont have civil right and are controlled by men,of course men will feel happy.
This thought proves that u dont treat women as citizens but slaves.

 

[knight11]

Divorce Law: India V UK
The law system in India is based on the common law and is therefore ultimately derived from the system in England and Wales. So ultimately it shares many common principles as well. Below there will be a comparison as to divorce laws and procedures in India and England and Wales. It shall be seen that there are many similarities between both jurisdictions with the fundamental difference in India the divorce law is based on different faiths and communities.
Main Legislation
India
In India the way one achieves divorce is essentially based on what religious community one is part of and if the marriage is an interfaith one than there is special regulation that governs that, these laws are detailed below:

• Hindu Marriage Act 1955 – pertains to Hindus, Sikhs, and Jains
• Indian Divorce Act 1869- pertains to Christians
• Parsi Marriage and Divorce Act 1936- pertains to Parsis
• Dissolution of Muslim Marriages Act 1939- in this it is explained on what basis women can attain divorce
• Special Marriage Act 1956- this pertains to divorces from civil marriages and those between different communities
• Native Converts Marriage Dissolution Act 1886- A Hindu can ask for divorce if the spouse becomes Christian

UK
In the United Kingdom, divorce legislation is not differentiated on the basis of religion but is mainly secular

• Matrimonial Causes Act 1973
• Family Law Act 1996

Grounds for Divorce
In both countries the grounds for divorce are roughly very similar with a few differences.
India
In India there are five grounds for divorce which are listed below

• Adultery- only infidelity needs to be proven by either man or woman
• Desertion- This occurs when there is a mixture of interruption of cohabitation and justifiable and reasonable absence for 3 years with an intention from the respondent to permanently separate themselves from the petitioner who has been left behind. The same also applies to 7 year absences.
• Cruelty - includes abuse which is physical as well as mental. However despite presumed gender equality, it is applied differently to men and women
• Impotency- Can include not being able to consummate marriage, one spouse not wanting to do so and could also be due to sterility.
• Chronic Disease- Could includes STDs, mental and physical illness. Although Christians and Parsees cannot divorce due to STDS or leprosy.

UK
Five facts for Irretrievable Breakdown of marriage according to Matrimonial Causes Act 1973S 1(2)

1. Adultery- adultery + cruelty of defendant
2. Unreasonable behaviour- Petitioner cannot be expected to live with respondent
3. Desertion
4. 2 years + consent of respondent OR
5. 5 years living apart continuously

Procedure for Obtaining Divorce
Again it is very similar in both countries.
India

• Mutual Consent Divorce- The consent of husband and wife needed on alimony, maintenance and child custody.
• Contested Divorce- If eligible on grounds mentioned above, papers must be submitted to be examined by the judge, if approved then divorce decree granted

UK
Special Procedure - There is no court appearance as the judge just examines the documents and what is mentioned within it and if he/she finds it acceptable grants decree of divorce and it is very rare for these to be defended.

@Blue Marlin @Kashmiri Pandit

 

[Jungibaaz]

people wont be marrying if the marriage was terrible, it works for most people(both men and women). However divorce laws are a big problem in UK. 'It wont happen to me so does not matter' is not a good defense for bad law.

Big issue this is. And one of the greatest reasons why marriage rates in the developed world are falling. Most guys under 30 are scared to death of the prospect of marriage and all that it may end up doing.

Haven't you heard the advice that "if if flies, floats, or f--ks, it is cheaper to rent than buy"?

Lmao. This would piss off a lot of feminists, they'd descend on PDF.

Also, to add to your point, unlike the usual renting vs buying issues, in this case, if you buy, it would be a depreciative asset over time, if you know what I mean. At least with a property, one gets a return.