Is Marriage Worth It For Women?The benefits go mostly to men.

[SMC]

Is it necessary that only husband has to pay alimony ? Can it be other way around ? May be a stupid question, just asking.

On paper, yes women can pay alimony. However, it's fairly rare. In the US, the statistics I see range anywhere from 93-97%.. in that many % of the cases, men pay the alimony.

That's the beauty about feminism. On paper, there are no anti-male laws. However when implemented, they are vastly misused.

 

[nForce]

On paper, yes women can pay alimony. However, it's fairly rare. In the US, the statistics I see range anywhere from 93-97%.. in that many % of the cases, men pay the alimony.

That's the beauty about feminism. On paper, there are no anti-male laws. However when implemented, they are vastly misused.

What is the criteria then ? Whoever earns more ?

Damn, I'll leave my job in that case, for a less paying, easier job. I can sustain myself at quarter of my salary.

 

[SMC]

What is the criteria then ? Whoever earns more ?

Damn, I'll leave my job in that case. I can sustain myself at quarter of my salary.

That's the criteria on paper. But in 1/3 of marriages women make more, so something doesn't add up.

But that's not the issue. The issue is why does alimony even exist in this day and age. It is an ancient concept from the so-called "dark ages" that feminists dislike. It's because women couldn't work. Now women can work. The only reason feminists have kept it around and don't protest it is because it generally favours women.

 

[nForce]

That's the criteria on paper. But in 1/3 of marriages women make more, so something doesn't add up.

But that's not the issue. The issue is why does alimony even exist in this day and age. It is an ancient concept from the so-called "dark ages" that feminists dislike. It's because women couldn't work. Now women can work. The only reason feminists have kept it around and don't protest it is because it generally favours women.

I don't know. I have mixed feelings about this. I know a lady, who used to work for a bank, but gave up her job to raise the kids. Now, if someone like that gets divorced, then , although she is qualified, she will be hard pushed to find the right job and sustain her life in the same locality, kids going to same school and other expenses.

But there should be some clause in the law that, if she is earning and that is a decent amount, then the husband is not obligated to pay alimony and vice versa.

 

[Indika]

Also, judging by your profile, are you a Kubrick fan by any chance?

Not a fan but watched many of his movies some of them are thought provoking and few showing brute truth about our society. i liked his idea of mask.

Its the divorce settlement that we are talking about. Its illogical why you have to give huge sums of money to your wife if she leaves you.

it is true , but before marriage that was very well know rt? choose your partner carefully.
marry in haste repent in leisure ==> marry in haste repent during divorce. Some of the divorces might be unavoidable. Well during marriage oath you would have taken oath to share everything right,life,joy, pain/gain .

 

[Falcon29]

Feminist junk, marriage is beautiful if there is commitment from both sides.

 

[SMC]

I don't know. I have mixed feelings about this. I know a lady, who used to work for a bank, but gave up her job to raise the kids. Now, if someone like that gets divorced, then , although she is qualified, she will be hard pushed to find the right job and sustain her life in the same locality, kids going to same school and other expenses.

But there should be some clause in the law that, if she is earning and that is a decent amount, then the husband is not obligated to pay alimony and vice versa.

So what if quitting her job is her own choice and the guy recommended her against quitting the job? What about in that case? What if there is no child?

 

[livingdead]

Not a fan but watched many of his movies some of them are thought provoking and few showing brute truth about our society. i liked his idea of mask.


it is true , but before marriage that was very well know rt? choose your partner carefully.
marry in haste repent in leisure ==> marry in haste repent during divorce. Some of the divorces might be unavoidable. Well during marriage oath you would have taken oath to share everything right,life,joy, pain/gain .

The marriage is for life itself is a wrong idea, based in old religious/cultural dogma which has no moral sense in modern society. You both husband and wife might realize in very sane and civil way that you are not for each other. Its not good or bad wife/husband, it could be simply compatibility. You can never know for sure before marriage, you can never know everything.

In UK, they have marriage for life oath even for secular marriage in council office. Thats rubbish. What is moral and right is to take a vow not to cheat, and love and respect each other till you are together. It could be for 1 month, 2 month, 10 year or for life.

Besides we are arguing why the current law is wrong and needs changing. Your counter argument seems to be 'well thats the law, deal with it'. Thats not really argument is it? Same can be use for any incorrect law in need of improvement, right?

 

[Zibago]

AYa.So afraid...
Marriage sounds horrible to me..

Your parents are together right?
If they can have a good marriage why not you so many marriages fall apart because people get married for all the wrong reasons

 

[livingdead]

I don't know. I have mixed feelings about this. I know a lady, who used to work for a bank, but gave up her job to raise the kids. Now, if someone like that gets divorced, then , although she is qualified, she will be hard pushed to find the right job and sustain her life in the same locality, kids going to same school and other expenses.

But there should be some clause in the law that, if she is earning and that is a decent amount, then the husband is not obligated to pay alimony and vice versa.

Well it is true that many women sacrifice their career for family may be they should make exception for those women and ask men to pay for her support(for a specific time say 1 or 2 year). Men should pay for child support too but only if he agreed to bring the child to the world(currently it seems to be the decision of woman only, in that case its woman's job to pay for the child and not ask a penny from father who never agreed to the project)

If the country has welfare system, man should not pay for woman at all, or vice versa. Taxpayers should fund jobless men/women to have a minimum living standard.

 

[Indika]

The marriage is for life itself is a wrong idea, based in old religious/cultural dogma which has no moral sense in modern society.

Agreed, ppl have to take marriage vows or other oaths...etc only bcos they dont trust each other. Nothing prevents two ppl from living together and having family. We are higher order animals who do not trust each other.

 

[Water Car Engineer]

Yeah, watch when the divorce happens, then child supports hits the guy. I know several old guys that got screwed over like this.

 

[nForce]

So what if quitting her job is her own choice and the guy recommended her against quitting the job? What about in that case? What if there is no child?

Well it is true that many women sacrifice their career for family may be they should make exception for those women and ask men to pay for her support(for a specific time say 1 or 2 year). Men should pay for child support too but only if he agreed to bring the child to the world(currently it seems to be the decision of woman only, in that case its woman's job to pay for the child and not ask a penny from father who never agreed to the project)

If the country has welfare system, man should not pay for woman at all, or vice versa. Taxpayers should fund jobless men/women to have a minimum living standard.

I kind of partially agree with you both. But then, as you are saying, a lot depends upon her choices.

SMC says no alimony if quitting job was her choice. hinduguy says no child support if bringing offspring to the World was her choice. How do you exactly capture these choices ? In the end, these are all joint decisions. You start digging who chose what to do and that's an endless cycle.
So, my opinion is to keep it simple. Whoever needs it, gets it, a bare minimum amount to sustain life, with certain clauses that it does not look like a pension. Now that I am thinking about it, there is no proper way to resolve this!

The woman may choose to live off alimony and not get a job. Or, may be she actually needs that, because she has sacrificed her career. It goes both ways. One way or other, it's clumsy.

Let's get some other opinions.
@Rain Man @Joe Shearer

 

[livingdead]

Your parents are together right?
If they can have a good marriage why not you so many marriages fall apart because people get married for all the wrong reasons

no not really. Most people do not spend enough time with their partner to know whether their marriage will sustain. Even then, we change as we age. You cant predict the future.

Imagine I ask you to take a decision that you can not change. It has to be future proof. You will probably take tonnes of time, to arrive at the right conclusion for you. Even then your decision cant be future proof. Situation might change that will make your decision look stupid.
The reason why large number of marriages do not end in divorce are: fear of unknown(will I get another partner at least as good) and inertia(if its working okey why change, we like routine life)

 

[Zibago]

no not really. Most people do not spend enough time with their partner to know whether their marriage will sustain. Even then, we change as we age. You cant predict the future.

Imagine I ask you to take a decision that you can not change. It has to be future proof. You will probably take tonnes of time, to arrive at the right conclusion for you. Even then your decision cant be future proof. Situation might change that will make your decision look stupid.
The reason why large number of marriages do not end in divorce are: fear of unknown(will I get another partner at least as good) and inertia(if its working okey why change, we like routine life)

But you sort of understand someone,s personality as stubborn or uncompromising really early in your relationship many just ignore it which is why so many marriages fail