Husband jailed after DNA evidence reveals he r*ped his wife

[Divergent]

To those who say Men seek intimacy elsewhere if denied and justify it. Women can secretly seek other men too due to neglect and lack of care? Are we seriously justifying wrong here? If it’s not acceptable for a female then it’s not acceptable for a male either. Period.

Stop categorising the weight of wrong under gender

 

[Mav3rick]

ok, and if she says no, and the uses physical abuse to have his way, then again emotional trauma, because of being betrayed by the one you were supposed to love and trust, and then obviously physical damage.

In that case I would agree to the abuse being marital abuse or domestic violence. But for God's sake, don't confuse abuse with rape. Rape is clearly defined within Islam. In Islam, Rape is intercourse outside of marriage (consensual as well as non-consensual). There is no such thing as Rape within the sanctity of marriage in Islam.

Having said the above, there are pre-requisites to all interactions and agreements, even marriage. Marriage is a commitment to love your partner, respect him/her and to fulfill their just and righteous needs and desires. There are ups and downs and a lot of compromises......but a marriage cannot work without all those. Nothing is perfect, but with love, understanding and mutual respect, marriage can work superbly.

However, factually, the only thing that marriage legalizes and moralizes is intercourse and its eventualities. There is nothing outside of intercourse that you cannot find outside of marriage. So, if a wife denies her husband the only thing for which he married her in the first place, the entire concept of marriage becomes pointless.......I mean the husband can-NOT have intercourse with all the women of the world, what makes the wife so special?

To those who say Men seek intimacy elsewhere if denied and justify it. Women can secretly seek other men too due to neglect and lack of care? Are we seriously justifying wrong here? If it’s not acceptable for a female then it’s not acceptable for a male either. Period.

Stop categorising the weight of wrong under gender

Tit-for-Tat???

Things don't really work like that, not morally, religiously and legally atleast. 1 wrong just cannot justify another. Besides, moral and religious values will hold back all impulses and instinct to seek intimacy from a person not in marriage with one.

However, men are still allowed to have as many as 4 wives at any given moment. The same is not applicable on women, they cannot have more than 1 husband at a time. In this case, if a person has 2 or more wives and is denied intimacy by one wife, he can simply go to the other wife and it would be perfectly legal, moral and righteous.

 

[Jf Thunder]

In that case I would agree to the abuse being marital abuse or domestic violence. But for God's sake, don't confuse abuse with rape. Rape is clearly defined within Islam. In Islam, Rape is intercourse outside of marriage (consensual as well as non-consensual). There is no such thing as Rape within the sanctity of marriage in Islam.

Having said the above, there are pre-requisites to all interactions and agreements, even marriage. Marriage is a commitment to love your partner, respect him/her and to fulfill their just and righteous needs and desires. There are ups and downs and a lot of compromises......but a marriage cannot work without all those. Nothing is perfect, but with love, understanding and mutual respect, marriage can work superbly.

However, factually, the only thing that marriage legalizes and moralizes is intercourse and its eventualities. There is nothing outside of intercourse that you cannot find outside of marriage. So, if a wife denies her husband the only thing for which he married her in the first place, the entire concept of marriage becomes pointless.......I mean the husband can-NOT have intercourse with all the women of the world, what makes the wife so special?

ok, so wait, the only thing you have against this is that it is named wrong?
it should be called abuse, and not rape?
so let me get this straight according to you, rape is disallowed outside marriage, and allowed inside?

 

[Mav3rick]

ok, so wait, the only thing you have against this is that it is named wrong?
it should be called abuse, and not rape?
so let me get this straight according to you, rape is disallowed outside marriage, and allowed inside?

Let me be as clear as possible, there is no concept of RAPE in marriage, period!

And this particular case can only be considered a joke; we need version from the husband to form the correct picture. His wife was intoxicated, he had non-forced intercourse with her which is perfectly legal and he caused no injury to and/or abuse on his wife. There is NOTHING wrong with his actions so far.

 

[Jf Thunder]

Let me be as clear as possible, there is no concept of RAPE in marriage, period!

And this particular case can only be considered a joke; we need version from the husband to form the correct picture. His wife was intoxicated, he had non-forced intercourse with her which is perfectly legal and he caused no injury to and/or abuse on his wife. There is NOTHING wrong with his actions so far.

who cares what you think? I am talking of morality, if you think that marriage demolishes are walls and limits o morality, then marriage sucks. Instead of making marriage easy for people, you are making it difficult. Women will think "hey I have more rights outside of marriage than inside, why should I get married?"

After marriage you legalize

1) Rape
2) Wife Beating
3) Domestic Abuse
4) Bind the woman in rules and regulations made by the husband

so how is that cool?

 

[LeGenD]

who cares what you think? I am talking of morality, if you think that marriage demolishes are walls and limits o morality, then marriage sucks. Instead of making marriage easy for people, you are making it difficult. Women will think "hey I have more rights outside of marriage than inside, why should I get married?"

After marriage you legalize

1) Rape
2) Wife Beating
3) Domestic Abuse
4) Bind the woman in rules and regulations made by the husband

so how is that cool?

This is the height of paranoia and negativity on your part.

You need to understand that a woman should be obedient to her husband, and not arrogant in her behavior. No rocket-science in this.

Obedience doesn't imply that a woman looses any say in the matters of marriage and/or partake in wrong acts at the behest of her husband. The husband should be loving, caring and fair in his demands.

However, accusing husband of rape in marriage is short-sighted. Only in a dysfunctional relationship, this kind of accusation will surface.

In a marriage, husband and wife are supposed to build a connection (i.e. emotional bonding) which facilitates in building intimacy in turn. This is not a robotic choir.

If a marriage is not working, divorce is an option. Accusing husband of rape is really short-sighted and obscure greater problems in the relationship.

Laws should be marriage and family-friendly, not increasingly intrusive and negative like in the West.

If a man is to fear accusations of rape from his wife and being taken to the cleaners afterwards, chances are that he would refrain from marriage, and this is the future of increasingly Feminist West.

How are you supposed to love and cherish somebody with "My Body" attitude? You tell me.

 

[mike2000 is back]

Having sexual expectations from your partner in a marriage is perfectly normal and legal. No need to generalize about men who have such expectations.

In-fact, denying your partner without a valid reason is also an act of ABUSE.

How about you educate yourself about "conjugal rights" in marriage before generalizing about men who have perfectly honest and natural expectations from their wives in a marriage?

I agree with some of your points.
Funny thing is that even our justice system has given far lighter sentences to child rapists /child grooming gangs who have gang raped thousands of underage/teenage girls here for years and even decades. Makes you wonder how any of this makes sense.

You need to understand that a woman should be obedient to her husband, and not arrogant in her behavior. No rocket-science in this.

Obedience doesn't imply that a woman looses any say in the matters of marriage and/or partake in wrong acts at the behest of her husband. The husband should be loving, caring and fair in his demands.

Agree. I used to be a Catholic, and I remember the Bible demands the same thing from the woman. However, as you know our society has long passed the stage of following such things. . So I'm surprised to see some religious people here don't even recognise/acknowledge this basic fact you just mentioned.
The truth is that the Bible or Quran is considered patriarchal by our liberal society, feminists etc, which to be honest is not completely wrong per se.

 

[Jf Thunder]

This is the height of paranoia and negativity on your part.

You need to understand that a woman should be obedient to her husband, and not arrogant in her behavior. No rocket-science in this.

Obedience doesn't imply that a woman looses any say in the matters of marriage and/or partake in wrong acts at the behest of her husband. The husband should be loving, caring and fair in his demands.

However, accusing husband of rape in marriage is short-sighted. Only in a dysfunctional relationship, this kind of accusation will surface.

In a marriage, husband and wife are supposed to build a connection (i.e. emotional bonding) which facilitates in building intimacy in turn. This is not a robotic choir.

If a marriage is not working, divorce is an option. Accusing husband of rape is really short-sighted and obscure greater problems in the relationship.

Laws should be marriage and family-friendly, not increasingly intrusive and negative like in the West.

If a man is to fear accusations of rape from his wife and being taken to the cleaners afterwards, chances are that he would refrain from marriage, and this is the future of increasingly Feminist West.

How are you supposed to love and cherish somebody with "My Body" attitude? You tell me.

ok, so you wrote that wrong story just to prove that a wife should be obedient and should not resist rape?
and if she says no, the husband has the right to use force, and if the wife objects she will be considered arrogant?
and finally she cant even blame the husband for forcing himself on her?
well that sucks
marriage = legalizing rape

 

[LeGenD]

ok, so you wrote that wrong story just to prove that a wife should be obedient and should not resist rape?
and if she says no, the husband has the right to use force, and if the wife objects she will be considered arrogant?
and finally she cant even blame the husband for forcing himself on her?
well that sucks
marriage = legalizing rape

You either have comprehension problems or your mindset is clouded by Feminism to such an extent that you are unable to look at this matter objectively.

Unlike you, I am speaking with experience and understand how a marriage works. I understand when to make my advances and when to abstain (I am not an idiot). However, I have my share of expectations from my partner and she understand as much.

Allah Almighty has advised a (Muslim) women to be obedient to her husband, period. Do you have a problem with this instruction? There is lot of wisdom in the teachings of Allah Almighty, in-case you didn't knew.

However:

"Obedience doesn't imply that a woman looses any say in the matters of marriage and/or partake in wrong acts at the behest of her husband. The husband should be loving, caring and fair in his demands."

Understand the quoted remarks?

If [wife] says NO at some point, chances are that her husband will stop his advances immediately. However, if she develops a habit of saying NO without a valid reason, then what do you think will happen? Her husband may not force himself upon her but he might seek divorce. Repeated rejections (without valid reasons) are a deal-breaker for many in a relationship, period.

Consent in a marriage is implied by default (and should be understood in this light). This doesn't imply that wife (or husband) cannot say NO like ever but rejection(s) should be grounded in a valid reason. If [husband] initiates intimacy without formal request at some point, his wife should be comfortable with his advances and/or not try to resist [assuming normal conditions]. Some men find the prospect of initiating intimacy without a formal request enticing; some women also enjoy these kind of moves.

Suppose that a couple has wed. After the wedding ceremony and several hours of chit-chat at home, husband initiates intimacy. Now, what should the wife do? Reject his advances on the spot? Not a good start, I tell you.

Accusing husband of rape is one of the worst cop-outs from marital obligations and a smokescreen for arrogance or insecurity beneath. If you do not like your husband or do not agree with his behavior, you can reason with him and if reasoning doesn't work, you can leave him. Calling the cops and sending the man to jail for wanting physical relations with his wife, is asinine.

 

[Jf Thunder]

You either have comprehension problems or your mindset is clouded by Feminism to such an extent that you are unable to look at this matter objectively.

Unlike you, I am speaking with experience and understand how a marriage works. I understand when to make my advances and when to abstain (I am not an idiot). However, I have my share of expectations from my partner and she understand as much.

Allah Almighty has advised a (Muslim) women to be obedient to her husband, period. Do you have a problem with this instruction? There is lot of wisdom in the teachings of Allah Almighty, in-case you didn't knew.

However:

"Obedience doesn't imply that a woman looses any say in the matters of marriage and/or partake in wrong acts at the behest of her husband. The husband should be loving, caring and fair in his demands."

Understand the quoted remarks?

If [wife] says NO at some point, chances are that her husband will stop his advances immediately. However, if she develops a habit of saying NO without a valid reason, then what do you think will happen? Her husband may not force himself upon her but he might seek divorce. Repeated rejections (without valid reasons) are a deal-breaker for many in a relationship, period.

Consent in a marriage is implied by default (and should be understood in this light). This doesn't imply that wife (or husband) cannot say NO like ever but rejection(s) should be grounded in a valid reason. If [husband] initiates intimacy without formal request at some point, his wife should be comfortable with his advances and/or not try to resist [assuming normal conditions]. Some men find the prospect of initiating intimacy without a formal request enticing; some women also enjoy these kind of moves.

Suppose that a couple has wed. After the wedding ceremony and several hours of chit-chat at home, husband initiates intimacy. Now, what should the wife do? Reject his advances on the spot? Not a good start, I tell you.

Accusing husband of rape is one of the worst cop-outs from marital obligations and a smokescreen for arrogance or insecurity beneath. If you do not like your husband or do not agree with his behavior, you can reason with him and if reasoning doesn't work, you can leave him. Calling the cops and sending the man to jail for wanting physical relations with his wife, is asinine.

if the husband does not stop, then what shall that act be called?

 

[Divergent]

Let me be as clear as possible, there is no concept of RAPE in marriage, period!

And this particular case can only be considered a joke; we need version from the husband to form the correct picture. His wife was intoxicated, he had non-forced intercourse with her which is perfectly legal and he caused no injury to and/or abuse on his wife. There is NOTHING wrong with his actions so far.

Anything that is unconsenual in Marriage, aggressively forced is ‘martial rape’ and I’m sorry to tell you this but that is disrespectful AF.

 

[Mav3rick]

if the husband does not stop, then what shall that act be called?

Domestic violence.

Anything that is unconsenual in Marriage, aggressively forced is ‘martial rape’ and I’m sorry to tell you this but that is disrespectful AF.

No it is not!

 

[Divergent]

Oh well my my if we a

Domestic violence.



No it is not!

Yes it is. Let me put it to you like this, a wife has a right over her husband’s wealth, so if she starts stealing from him even though it is her right - would you not class that as stealing? A wrong is a wrong. How do you not see it?

 

[Mav3rick]

Yes it is. Let me put it to you like this, a wife has a right over her husband’s wealth, so if she starts stealing from him even though it is her right - would you not class that as stealing? A wrong is a wrong. How do you not see it?

A wife has rights over her husband's wealth; in that case, how can a person steal her own assets/property?? Not making much sense, are you?

 

[Divergent]

A wife has rights over her husband's wealth; in that case, how can a person steal her own assets/property?? Not making much sense, are you?

Wait what? So instead of him giving her allowance or legal custody of property, she should just steal from him because it’s her ‘right’? - the question in motive here is MY understanding of right and wrongs and YOUR understanding of it is completely different.