In your opening argument, you started with generalizing "Pakistani men", so you made it a subject by doing that (which is why you were met with the arguments I presented about "typical Pakistani women" ... )
Agreed on the initial part of equal and free human beings having the rights to defend themselves. However, I can't help but notice in that both of your scenarios, men are painted as 'the bad guy' ... So if your cheated on and are having a hard time trusting your spouse after she blatantly broke your trust .. your "backward and miserable" .. and ofcourse the drunk guy beating his wife example is designed with the guy being at fault ...
YOU as a lady, don't get to decide how men feel about certain things. You don't have the right to call anyone "gutless" whose been hurt by his wife who has DECEIVED him. If anything it's the WIFE, who is at fault to have been engaged in such activities. It is the WIFE who is the guilty party and has to make amends ... instead of shaming the guy for feeling that way by calling him "gutless and backward" ...
Based on your response ... one can easily go.... "well a drunk guy who beat the living heck out of his wife ... but repented and now is more sincere to her ... the wife should accept him as if nothing ever happened ... No need to create drama ... he'll live with her as a good husband but if she has NO GUTS and her backward thoughts keep messing with her brain, then khula is an option afforded to her" ...
Extremes on both ends are really dangerous. In the case you mention, sometimes conditions arise where you HAVE TO separate (e.g. one spouse is physically very violent etc.) and in that case divorce being 'taboo' becomes a hindrance, however, in the case of let's say the west, divorce is common place, where a spouses file for divorces on a whim ... so both extremes are quite dangerous ...