Equality between men and women

[revol]

the approval and consent of the girl to marriage is a prerequisite for the validity of marriage in Islam. She has the right to say yes or no.

Husbands' and wives' duties are mutual responsibilities. They might not be identical duties, but the totality of rights and responsibilities are balanced. The Quran says:

"Women have the same rights (in relation to their husbands) as are expected in all decency from them, while men stand a step above them." [Noble Quran 2:228]

This only specifies the degree of responsibility, not privilege, in man's role as provider, protector, maintainer, and leader of the family. The same Surah speaks about divorce, about consultation between husband and wife, even in the case of divorce. When there are family disputes, first the Quran appeals to reason and the consideration of positive aspects of one's spouse,

"Dwell with your wives in kindness for even if you hate them, you might be hating someone in whom God has placed so much good." [Noble Quran 4:19]

If that appeal does not succeed, and problems between the husband and wife continue, there are measures that can be applied. Some of these measures are done privately between husband and wife. Some of them might appear harsh, but there are qualifications to restrict excessive or abusive use of these measures. These measures are considered an attempt to save a marriage rather than break a family apart. If the situation does not improve, even with the limitation and prevention of excesses, the next step is a family council. One arbiter from his family and one from her family should sit together with the couple and try to resolve the problems.

If a divorce becomes necessary, there are many detailed procedures in Islamic law that really knock down the common notion that divorce in Islam is very easy and that it is the sole right of man. It is not the sole right of man alone and neither is it true that all you have to say is: "I divorce you three times," and that's it. Islam also has laws regarding custody of children. I was very surprised to see newspapers making the false claim that in all cases custody goes to the father. Custody involves the interest of the child, and laws often favor the mother of young children.

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[qamar1990]

You should look up the internet for treatment of women in many Islamic countries. I am sure you know already though.

Anyway, treatment of women in a society is more of a cultural trait than religious.

ok so if you know its more of a cultural thing then anything why mention it?
how are women treated in india? which is not a islamic country YET.

 

[qamar1990]

So...

The whole aim of this thread is to establish the ' fact' that ladies in Islam are better than those in other religions ?

Debatable.

In any case why out of the blue ??

i think it is to show that they are equal in islam, why do you yindoos have to turn and twist everything?

 

[third eye]

i think it is to show that they are equal in islam, why do you yindoos have to turn and twist everything?

Why can't you mislamists spell correctly ?

 

[qamar1990]

Why can't you mislamists spell correctly ?

aren't you guys yindoos? i seen dozens of indian members call themselves that.

 

[third eye]

aren't you guys yindoos? i seen dozens of indian members call themselves that.

Are education and Google available in your part of the world ?

If so, put both of them to good use.

 

[qamar1990]

Are education and Google available in your part of the world ?

If so, put both of them to good use.

yeh of course they are available, but if you call yourself a yindoo then i will call you a yindoo as well. indian members call themselves yindoos on this forum.

 

[Aamna14]

For one this wide spread notion that women in Islamic countries have to be necessarily oppressed is an exaggeration and a little too biased Just because anything related to Islam and Muslims invites this uncalled for criticism doesn't mean its really the case. In places women are not granted equal rights but most people discuss the issue for political or religious point scoring which has and will never do any good to any woman anywhere around the world.

 

[revol]

M-48,,,sms

gazak allah khiran

=

Polygamy has become so mythical in the minds of many people that they assume being Muslim means having four wives. This is a false notion, of course. A very renowned anthropologist, Edward Westermarck, in his two-volume work, "History of Human Marriage," notes that there has been polygamy in virtually every culture and religion, including Judaism and Christianity. But the point here is not to say, "Why blame Islam?" Actually, Islam is the only religion even among Abrahamic faiths, that specifically limited the practice of polygamy that existed before Islam and established very strict conditions for guidance. The question, "How could any man have two wives? That's terrible!" reflects ethnocentrism. We assume that because we're living in the West and it seems strange, and we assume it must apply to all cultures, all times, under all circumstances.



This simply isn't true. Let me give you one current-day example. In the savage attack on Afghanistan, genocide was committed on the Afghani people. It is estimated that 1-1.5 million people lost their lives, a great majority of whom were men of a marriageable age. Now, with a great shortage of men, what will happen to their widows, their orphans and their daughters of marriageable age? Is it better to leave them in a camp, with a handout? Or better a man is willing to take care of his fallen comrade's wife and children?

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[revol]

 

[revol]

Allaah Almighty says (what means): “To Allaah belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth; He creates what He wills. He gives to whom He wills female [children], and He gives to whom He wills males. Or He makes them [both] males and females, and He renders whom He wills barren. Indeed, He is Knowing and Competent.” [Quran 49:50] Allaah is the One, based on His ultimate wisdom, who grants whomever He wills sons and daughters; He grants sons only to whomever He wills, and grants daughters only to whomever He wills, and if He so wills, He makes whomever He wills infertile.


We notice in the above verse that the mention of daughters preceded that of sons, and the scholars may Allaah have mercy upon them commented on this saying: “This is to hearten daughters and encourage kindness towards them, because many fathers feel burdened by receiving a daughter. The common practice of the people during the pre-Islamic era was to hate receiving daughters, to the extent that they would bury them alive; therefore, it is as if Allaah is saying to people: `This inferior child in your estimation takes precedence in My scale.' He also mentions daughters first to indicate their weakness, and that they are therefore more deserving of care and attention.”


Such honouring of daughters is the complete opposite of how people were accustomed to dealing with females in the pre-Islamic era, when they would degrade women and consider them a part of their wealth, and if news of a baby girl would come to any of them, it would be as if he was hit by a thunderstorm; Allaah says (what means): which means: “And when one of them is informed of [the birth of] a female, his face becomes dark, and he suppresses grief. He hides himself from the people because of the ill of which he has been informed. Should he keep it in humiliation or bury it in the ground? Unquestionably, evil is what they decide.” [Quran 58:59]


It is said that some enemies of Qays ibn ‘Aasim At-Tameemi, who was a pre-Islamic Arab, attacked his premises and captured his daughter. Later, one of these enemies married her. After some time, the clan of Qays and that of his enemies reconciled, so they gave this daughter of his the freedom to go back to her father or remain with her husband, and she preferred to stay with her husband. At that point, Qays took a pledge upon himself to bury alive any new daughter that he would receive, and the Arabs imitated him after that. It was, therefore, this man who introduced this evil practice, and thus he will shoulder his own sin as well as the sin of all those who did it thereafter.


One of the companions may Allaah be pleased with him who had killed his daughter in the era that preceded Islam narrated his story: "We would worship idols in the pre-Islamic era and kill our daughters. I had a daughter, who, when she was old enough to comprehend and talk, would rejoice whenever she saw me and would immediately respond. One day, I called her and told her to follow me, so she did, until we reached a well that belonged to my tribe. I then took her by her hand and threw her in the well, and the last thing I heard her cry was: ‘O father! O father!'" (Ad-Daarimi)


During the era that preceded Islam, there were two methods that people used to kill their daughters:


· At the time of the delivery of the child, a man would order his wife to give birth next to a hole dug in the ground; if the newborn was a male, she would return home with him, otherwise, she would throw her into the pit and bury her alive, or:


· When the daughter reached six years of age, the man would tell his wife to adorn and perfume her, then he would take her to a well in the desert and tell her to look down into the well; when she would do this, he would push her into it from behind.


There were some men among these people who would forbid such acts, such as Sa’sa’ah ibn Naajiyah At-Tameemi, who would go to those attempting to kill their daughter offering money to ransom their lives.


There are people nowadays who share these same pre-Islamic beliefs; if they are granted only girls, which is of course something decreed only by Allaah, they become angry, discontent and grieved.


With the advent of Islam, the darkness of that era vanished and Allaah enjoined kindness, love and compassion towards girls. Taking good care of girls was encouraged, as was giving them special attention in the process of their upbringing. In fact, Islam has designated a special reward for raising them that is not granted for raising sons. Anas may Allaah be pleased with him reported that the Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) said: "He who raises two daughters until their puberty will be with me in Paradise like this", and he symbolized the proximity by showing two of his fingers with a slight gap between them." (Muslim)

الشيخ احمد ديدات مقابل الدكتور فلويد كلارك ( هل صلب المسيح ؟ ) youtube

 

[Sky lord]

Let me give you one current-day example. In the savage attack on Afghanistan, genocide was committed on the Afghani people. It is estimated that 1-1.5 million people lost their lives, a great majority of whom were men of a marriageable age. Now, with a great shortage of men, what will happen to their widows, their orphans and their daughters of marriageable age? Is it better to leave them in a camp, with a handout? Or better a man is willing to take care of his fallen comrade's wife and children?

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What about a third option, maybe these excess ladies could work and look after themselves? Is that an option? Why do you assume that women have to have a man to look after them?

 

[Zibago]

You should look up the internet for treatment of women in many Islamic countries. I am sure you know already though.

Anyway, treatment of women in a society is more of a cultural trait than religious.

And India was declared 4th worst country for women so you know stones and glass houses

 

[revol]

thank's brother

they said;
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In the nutshell, you must not forget that Islam actually uplifted living standards of women during the dark ages. Also, western concepts of gender equality are not based on Islamic values and norms. So try to understand Islam better instead of complaining about what people are doing in Saudi Arabia and Afghanistan. People are not expected to be fair in any nation.


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For one this wide spread notion that women in Islamic countries have to be necessarily oppressed is an exaggeration and a little too biased Just because anything related to Islam and Muslims invites this uncalled for criticism doesn't mean its really the case. In places women are not granted equal rights but most people discuss the issue for political or religious point scoring which has and will never do any good to any woman anywhere around the world.

\\\

Aa’ishah may Allaah be pleased with her related: "A woman by the name of Jameelah came to me with her two daughters. She asked me for charity but found nothing with me except a date, which I gave her. She divided it between her two daughters and ate nothing herself; then, she got up and left. After this, the Messenger of Allaah sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) came, so I narrated this story to him; he sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “He who is involved (in the responsibility) of (nurturing) daughters and is generous to them, will have them as a fortification for himself against the Hellfire.” (Al-Bukhaari & Muslim) In another narration of this incident, `Aa’ishah may Allaah be pleased with her related: "A poor woman came to me with her two daughters. I gave her three dates; she gave each of them a date and was about to eat the third one when one of her daughters asked her for it, so she divided it between her two daughters and ate nothing herself, and I liked what she did. After this, the Messenger of Allaah sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) came, so I told him what she did, and he sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) said: 'Allaah obligated Paradise for her due to this date, and (also) freed her from Hell.'"(Muslim)


Pay close attention to wording of the following narration: the Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “He who is tested by (the guardianship) of daughters….” Why did he sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) use the word: “…tested…”? He said it because raising them is a responsibility and a test from Allaah to see how His slave would act: Will he be kind to them? Will he raise them correctly?


The nature of this responsibility was further clarified in other narrations, such as: “If he patiently feeds them and endows them with clothing …" (Ibn Maajah)., and: “…Provides for them and marries them off…” (At-Tabaraani)., and: “…Properly raises them and fears Allaah in the manner in which he deals with them.” (At-Tirmithi)


This is what is required when dealing with daughters: kindness, which results in Paradise, as the Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “Whoever Allaah has given two daughters and is kind towards them, will have them as a reason for him to be admitted into Paradise.” And: “Whoever Allaah has given three daughters and he perseveres through raising them, will have them as a shield for him from the Hellfire on the Day of Resurrection.”


A daughter is a great bounty and an honour granted by Allaah, Imaam Al-Hasan may Allaah have mercy upon him said: “Girls are a source of reward and sons are a blessing; rewards are in one's favour (on the Day of Judgement) whereas one will be held accountable for blessings.”


Thus, it is incorrect to believe that one has been humiliated by being granted a girl; rather it is an honour, a bounty and a gate towards Paradise. Daughters are a greate responsibility to rear, and entail greater expenditure, and this is why the reward for raising them correctly is greater than that for a son.


Once, one of the leaders of the believers was receiving people when a small daughter of his entered the room, so he kissed her; a Bedouin was also in attendance and saw this, so he mentioned daughters in a very evil manner. A wise man who was also present witnessed all of this and therefore said: "O leader of the believers! Do not listen to him. I swear by Allaah, that it is they (i.e., girls) who stay up to care for the sick in the family, who show mercy towards the elders, and who stand next to men during hardships."


A man was granted a baby girl, so he became angry and isolated himself from his wife for a long time, and after few months, he overheard his wife reciting the verse (which means): “…But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you…” [Quran 2:216]


How many girls have been far more merciful and beneficial to their parents than their brothers? How many times has a son been a source of grief for his parents, to the point that they wished he was never born?


Why do we raise this topic now? It is due to the vicious attacks on the Muslims under the pretext of defending 'women’s rights' which is in reality an evil attempt to play on the emotions of women so that they will become rebellious towards their fathers and husbands, and to encourage them to leave their homes and demand their 'freedom'. This is a gate towards evil and immorality which gradually attracts women and then traps them in prohibitions. One cause of girls falling into this is people neglecting their daughters and undermining their rights, which makes them easily fall into the traps of the hypocritical writers and columnists, male and female, who wish to see corruption prevail.


It is enough of an honour for girls that the Prophets may Allaah exalt their mention, had daughters and that most of the children of our beloved Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) were daughters, namely: Zaynab, Ruqayyah, Umm Kalthoom and Faatimah

My Journey To Islam: Ahmed Parol youtube

My Journey To Islam: Hossein Thomas youtube

 

[revol]

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.


All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.


Dear questioner, we would like to thank you for the great confidence you placed in us, and we implore Allah Almighty to help us serve His cause and render our work for His Sake.




Your words are not true

media distort the image of Islam

And customs and traditions far from true Islam


first


Islam occupies the middle ground between Christianity and Judaism with respect to divorce. Marriage in Islam is a sanctified bond that should not be broken except for compelling reasons. Couples are instructed to pursue all possible remedies whenever their marriages are in danger. Divorce is not to be resorted to except when there is no other way out.



In a nutshell, Islam recognizes divorce, yet it discourages it by all means. Let us focus on the recognition side first. Moreover, Islam, unlike Judaism, grants the wife the right to dissolve the marriage through what is known as Khula'. 36 If the husband dissolves the marriage by divorcing his wife, he cannot retrieve any of the marriage gifts he has given her. The Quran explicitly prohibits the divorcing husbands from taking back their marriage gifts no matter how expensive or valuable these gifts might be:


"But if you decide to take one wife in place of another, even if you had given the latter a whole treasure for dower, take not the least bit of it back; Would you take it by slander and a manifest wrong?" (Quran 4:20).


In the case of the wife choosing to end the marriage, she may return the marriage gifts to her husband. Returning the marriage gifts in this case is a fair compensation for the husband who is keen to keep his wife while she chooses to leave him. The Quran has instructed Muslim men not to take back any of the gifts they have given to their wives except in the case of the wife choosing to dissolve the marriage:


"It is not lawful for you (Men) to take back any of your gifts except when both parties fear that they would be unable to keep the limits ordained by Allah. There is no blame on either of them if she give something for her freedom. These are the limits ordained by Allah so do not transgress them" (Quran 2:229).


Also, a woman came to the Prophet Muhammad seeking the dissolution of her marriage, she told the Prophet that she did not have any complaints against her husband's character or manners. Her only problem was that she honestly did not like him to the extent of not being able to live with him any longer. The Prophet asked her: "Would you give him his garden (the marriage gift he had given her) back?" she said: "Yes". The Prophet then instructed the man to take back his garden and accept the dissolution of the marriage (Bukhari).


In some cases, A Muslim wife might be willing to keep her marriage but find herself obliged to claim for a divorce because of some compelling reasons such as: Cruelty of the husband, desertion without a reason, a husband not fulfilling his conjugal responsibilities, etc. In these cases the Muslim court dissolves the marriage. 37


In short, Islam has offered the Muslim woman some unequalled rights: she can end the marriage through Khula' and she can sue for a divorce. A Muslim wife can never become chained by a recalcitrant husband. It was these rights that enticed Jewish women who lived in the early Islamic societies of the seventh century C.E. to seek to obtain bills of divorce from their Jewish husbands in Muslim courts.


The Rabbis declared these bills null and void. In order to end this practice, the Rabbis gave new rights and privileges to Jewish women in an attempt to weaken the appeal of the Muslim courts. Jewish women living in Christian countries were not offered any similar privileges since the Roman law of divorce practiced there was no more attractive than the Jewish law. 38

Muslim Divorce - Sheikh Ahmed Deedat (1/2)
Divorce in Islam

Dr. Zakir Naik----- Correct Procedure of Divorce