sure as you say. if we could leave the religion out, we wont be having this discussion and our flags wud been the same.
mudslinging apart, we need to first acknowledge that both of us frucked up in kashmir and everywhere else. both our establishments (ind n pak) benefit from the boiling pot ie kashmir.
lets talk about pak first.
your army has always been the major power in your polity. Kashmir, and by extension, India, provides them the justification of their relevance to stay at the top. this is fuelled by the popular and negative view of hindus who comprise majority of india. the fear of the bogeyman.
in india of course, thing are not very different; but there is a fundamental difference in that. what ur army is doing (play of perception and fear of hindu india), is being done by the politicians in india to secure the chair. although our army is properly and adequately leashed, our practical principles on ground are very dissimilar to what is written in constitution. we preach tolerance, and to some extent we do live by it, but the prejudices against different religions still remains.
this intolerance between both sides is the root of the problem. otherwise why a person from nagaland would hate pakistan. in fact they just dont care. begalis dont care, tamils dont care etc etc.
its the north indian part and the pakistani part (east of indus) keep bickering amongst few who preach aman ki asha. their emotional and sentimental part is the problem.