Advice from Adults please

[sms]

Assalamu Alaikum and Nomoshkar. GURU jons, I need your advice regarding something. I only told my mom and did not have the courage to tell my dad and ashamed to tell anyone else. The thing is I am in my twenties. I want to get married. For various reason I fell behind in my studies so I am still student. The reason I want to get married is because, It will make me more pious, successful, give and take love and emotion, share life and others.

DO not get too ambitious about positive effects of marriage in student life. The but marriage do not guaranty. So be careful what choice you make.

You see, in west there are a lot distraction because of female, specially in the summer. Now I have my needs.

So you need some flesh and to fulfill you plan to marriage a girl. DO not see any thing wrong with it. But since you get distracted in summer its seems to be just temptation only. Want to marry for temptation assuming it will fulfill your desires ....I doubt it. Think again.

My mom said if I find someone, she will help me getting married. But my dad is adament about me finishing my studies then get married. also I have another problem and that is I can't approach a girl. I am very shy. What should I do, please advice me...

It seems you are focusing more on finding girl than your studies. There lies a problem. Treat life what it offers to you with focus on your goal.

You are adult and should be mature enough to make your choice. So, decide what is your priority study or a girl and follow it religiously.

 

[Punjabbi Munda]

And before getting married try a GF,you ll change your decision

 

[forcetrip]

I don't have GF , thats how I get time for PDF.. ::

Thats good .. I know a friends friend whos PDF and other forum logins are with his wife. There is no such thing as privacy in a marriage, especially if you are caught trying to flirt through your mid life crisis.

 

[genmirajborgza786]

try speed dating it helps

 

[Yeti]

try speed dating it helps

Yeah my cousin went to some of those events think you have like 3 mins with each girl and if you both give ticks you end up with each others number lol

 

[A.Rafay]

Seems like we both are Lone wolfs. Aman shanti ha bhai

True story!! bro We live in KSA!!!

 

[Porbot]

any single female here.....hahahahahahha

 

[A.Rafay]

any single female here.....hahahahahahha

You look like Ultimate Womenizer or a pedo LOL Tharki

 

[jaunty]

any single female here.....hahahahahahha

Yes I believe @Zarvan is one.

 

[Dandpatta]

I thought ajtr is a woman of aunty-hood category?

Jokes apart but the way I look at it, married couples themselves are students of "marriage" . Not a day passes without you studying each others habits, moods, retorting, debating, arguing, surmising, second-guessing, trusting, loving, banging whatever.. No amount of time is enough for either of the spouses to say "I know him" or "I know her" .

That said, in a modern world, you need to STUDY first. Study what you like. Don't go for the usual nonsense of Science / Arts or Commerce that most South Asians fall for. THere must be something in life that you MUST like beyond the day dream of girls getting married to you. Go pick a vocational study.. that interests you. Climb the ladders of vocational success and get something (money) out of it and more than that, the satisfaction that a job brings to you.

Honeymoons last only a few nights... it's the next (average) 40-50 years of married life that are more challenging. Children, bills, in-laws, your own parents.. etc etc etc.. WE ALL NEED MONEY ! Go earn it first , SAVE IT and then think of splurging on "marriage"

 

[Emmie]

No surprise, you are too young to understand the reasons you have cited.

To avoid distraction you're opting for destruction! kiddin'

Getting married is a good idea, but the reasons you're associating with it are not rationalized. It's really very hard to study professionalism when you have a wife and kids to take care.

My advice, complete your education at first and then get married, good education of yours would secure future of your family.

 

[Icarus]

You are looking for matrimonial advice on a defence forum? Not the brightest place to look for advice regarding your married life. If half of us were good spouses, we'd spend more time with our other half instead of PDF!

On a serious note, the issue depends largely on what you earn, if you can sustain a family whilst you study then by all means, talk to your dad. He won't kill you, he's only got your best interests at mind and the line you are taking about piety and distractions, it's all bullshit, dump that. You want to get married because you want to get married, this piety and distractions line is just excuses, a man of character can maintain himself even in the most trying of circumstances, if a woman in a skimpy skirt is all it takes to make you fall weak then you need to work on some serious character building because come year 5 when you're waaaaayyyyy out of the honeymoon period, these distractions will start distracting you again, what will you do then? Marry again?

 

[Windjammer]

Are you nuts....College period is the best a guy could ask for.....somewhere you can indeed mix business and pleasure.

Make the most of it before you end up having to eat the same dish day after day. !!

 

[Gandhi G in da house]

First finish your studies and start making some money . Who will pay the bills ?

Then get married. Don't let your tharak in summers take over your mind and life .Be practical. Also, if you are making some money , finding a nice girl would be easier .

 

[Yeti]

Are you nuts....College period is the best a guy could ask for.....somewhere you can indeed mix business and pleasure.

Make the most of it before you end up having to eat the same dish day after day. !!

lol nice line