I have consulted umpteen doctors. Hitherto none gave a satisfactory answer. Hitherto none gave a satisfactory explanation.
Symptom 1:
Prone to abnormally high number of mistakes in clerical and data entry tasks: Everybody makes a little bit of mistakes in clerical and data entry work. But in my case, the frequency of mistakes is abnormally high and hence the complaint. Now don’t ignore symptom no. 1 because the description is small.
Symptom 2:
Immense difficulty in doing work in organized/orderly way:
Example 1: Suppose 10 new desktop computers are purchased for a college laboratory. One power cable is for CPU. It is plugged to electrical socket to turn on the CPU. Another power cable is for Monitor. It is plugged to electrical socket to turn on the Monitor. A VGA cable is used to connect Monitor to the CPU. Keyboard and mouse is to be connected to the CPU. So setting up the 10 desktop computers should be easy. It should be piece of cake. To me it is abnormally perplexing and confusing.
Example 2: Suppose there are 30 computer systems in a lab. This computer lab is to be prepared for a class test of computer science students. Some are damaged beyond repair. Some systems have perfect CPU but partially damaged keyboard or mouse. A decision has to be taken whether those systems’s keyboard/mouse is to be exchanged with the keyboard/mouse of irreparable systems or if the damage is minor. Some systems have small issues with CPU but are manageable even without repair. Some CPUs should be necessarily repaired in order to use them. Some don’t have CD drive and hence external CD drive is to be used to install software on them. Some have inbuilt CD drive but since their USB ports are not working, the CDs have to be first removed from the portable external CD drive and then inserted in the system’s inbuilt CD drive.
Now the task is to make ready as many systems as possible for the class test and give a detailed account of how many are working, how many are not working, what are the issues of defective systems etc.
Of course, such complexity would be confusing to even normal people. But other employees go about it easily. To me it is abnormally perplexing and confusing. The lab of 30 systems seems like a lab of billions of systems with a great variety of defects in them, each requiring different corrective actions.
Symptom 3:
Staggering slowness:
I do things very slowly. Be it any task. Be it washing clothes at home, be it packing, be it assembling desktops, be it data entry tasks, be it clerical tasks and so on. What others do in 15 minutes, I do it in 2 hours.
As a result, I have to surreptitiously enter the lab after working hours like a thief and stay till late at night in order to complete the job. I also have to spend my holidays secretly working in college. At such times I would be in fear of boss or his boss showing up at the college.
Overall effects of this neurological / neuropsychiatric disorder:
My boss and colleagues tolerate me. Practically speaking, they do my work and I simply collect salary. I get scolded a lot but still I am tolerated because they are kind. My boss and his boss have not fired me for many many years because they are considerate of the fact that it is difficult to get another job. Nowhere else in the world is such a useless employee tolerated so much. The degree of tolerance, the globally unique position I am in - you have to see it to believe it.
They scold me like hell. If you had been in my place, you may have beaten them up. They scold me but they don't fire me. That's kindness.
Symptom 1:
Prone to abnormally high number of mistakes in clerical and data entry tasks: Everybody makes a little bit of mistakes in clerical and data entry work. But in my case, the frequency of mistakes is abnormally high and hence the complaint. Now don’t ignore symptom no. 1 because the description is small.
Symptom 2:
Immense difficulty in doing work in organized/orderly way:
Example 1: Suppose 10 new desktop computers are purchased for a college laboratory. One power cable is for CPU. It is plugged to electrical socket to turn on the CPU. Another power cable is for Monitor. It is plugged to electrical socket to turn on the Monitor. A VGA cable is used to connect Monitor to the CPU. Keyboard and mouse is to be connected to the CPU. So setting up the 10 desktop computers should be easy. It should be piece of cake. To me it is abnormally perplexing and confusing.
Example 2: Suppose there are 30 computer systems in a lab. This computer lab is to be prepared for a class test of computer science students. Some are damaged beyond repair. Some systems have perfect CPU but partially damaged keyboard or mouse. A decision has to be taken whether those systems’s keyboard/mouse is to be exchanged with the keyboard/mouse of irreparable systems or if the damage is minor. Some systems have small issues with CPU but are manageable even without repair. Some CPUs should be necessarily repaired in order to use them. Some don’t have CD drive and hence external CD drive is to be used to install software on them. Some have inbuilt CD drive but since their USB ports are not working, the CDs have to be first removed from the portable external CD drive and then inserted in the system’s inbuilt CD drive.
Now the task is to make ready as many systems as possible for the class test and give a detailed account of how many are working, how many are not working, what are the issues of defective systems etc.
Of course, such complexity would be confusing to even normal people. But other employees go about it easily. To me it is abnormally perplexing and confusing. The lab of 30 systems seems like a lab of billions of systems with a great variety of defects in them, each requiring different corrective actions.
Symptom 3:
Staggering slowness:
I do things very slowly. Be it any task. Be it washing clothes at home, be it packing, be it assembling desktops, be it data entry tasks, be it clerical tasks and so on. What others do in 15 minutes, I do it in 2 hours.
As a result, I have to surreptitiously enter the lab after working hours like a thief and stay till late at night in order to complete the job. I also have to spend my holidays secretly working in college. At such times I would be in fear of boss or his boss showing up at the college.
Overall effects of this neurological / neuropsychiatric disorder:
My boss and colleagues tolerate me. Practically speaking, they do my work and I simply collect salary. I get scolded a lot but still I am tolerated because they are kind. My boss and his boss have not fired me for many many years because they are considerate of the fact that it is difficult to get another job. Nowhere else in the world is such a useless employee tolerated so much. The degree of tolerance, the globally unique position I am in - you have to see it to believe it.
They scold me like hell. If you had been in my place, you may have beaten them up. They scold me but they don't fire me. That's kindness.
