waz
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Are those shelters working under Muslims? They could also be used to malign Islam. Do these educated women follow Religion or they end up being athiest or Marry Non-Muslims ?
Yes under us, I'm a part of it. We look after the sisters.
Bhai it depends on the individual. I think our community has a 30:40:30 split.
30% are successful, 40% are neither here nor there and 30% are failures.
It's not helped as others have pointed out by a lack of education in the parents. We have outright pendu in some households who have spent entire lives trying to replicate the pind in the UK.
These people fail to engage in wider society, are unaware of the challenges thier kids face, and then when thier children end up non religious, non British non Pakistani they act surprised.
Typical mistakes include;
It hurts me to say it of my own people but many are ghatiya log. The UK is not to blame - our own subculture is to blame.
- Parents who don't know english
- Parents who have 2 tvs. One for them and one for the kids.
- Ppl with computers but not idea how to use it
- Children with mobile phones
- Young boys playing unsupervised in neighbourhoods with known drugs and gang problems
- No attendance at parents evenings at school
- No support with homework
- Swearing at children
- Double standards between boys and girls
- Mothers keeping secrets from fathers
- Beating children for trivial matters
- Parents engaging in haram (fraud) openly
- Lip service to the deen. No salah at home, just jummah Muslims.
- No consistency of standards.
Today I saw a middle aged woman going for a walk in salwar kameez and hijab alongside her teenage daughter in skin tight leggings and a skin tight t-shirt. I thought to myself what values of hidayat are they passing on to her? Yet if that girl tomorrow decides to adopt other British cultural values they will blame her.
I have friends who's father abandoned them as children. Thier grandparents raised them. Thier uncle took them to a strip club as a pre wedding treat. What a father figure!
Those of us who survive this fitna should be greatful and forever indebted to our parents. My mother never learnt English yet she would make us do homework in primary school and check our books. We had no idea she was faking it, but she went through the act to ensure we did extra work. She walked us to the library every weekend to get books and more frequently during the school holidays.
She did the same for our Quran and duas. She would listen to us recite them. She spent her life bugging us to perform salah.
My father would work 16 hours a day at one stage. He would take a break between 4pm when school finished and 8pm, so he could take us to the masjid and spend the evening with us. We'd go to bed, he'd drive his taxi till late at night. He dropped off all of us to school and college and picked us up until we learnt to drive.
Many boys from my extended family are drug dealers - our father never let us go out with them. We went to organised clubs like karate or we were at home. Our neighbourhood was bad - he didn't allow us to play play on the streets.
My parents never watched television. They spent thier evenings talking to us.
These sacrifices led to 6 children who are graduates, professionals, higher income earners, mostly married with kids, who abstained from haram and who are practising Muslims.
In a 100 lifetimes I can't pay them back, only Allah can reward them adequately. Those parents who want success for thier family have to do the same.
Also I missed out the debates/arguments. My father would endlessly debate with us about his perspective, probe us on what we thought, looking back even when we were wrong or even rude he would be patient and not belittle us. Dad had a temper, there was a certain line in terms of decorum you didn't cross, but he was a big free speech advocate. He was testing our sense and maturity.
He also used to make us fill out our own forms. Dad had me help him with his taxes when I was like 11-12 years old. He'd make me calculate his receipts and earnings, checking my maths.
Informative post bro, your parents did a fine job. I find the 'personal experiences' posts an intriguing read, and Pakistanis from outside the UK have a better understanding on the UK community's history. It's also in line with the original post i.e. how children should be raised.
