Why should women change their names on getting married?

[Armstrong]

Equity??
Don't search for accounts and finance in a relationship. It's not a one time investment!!

Btw what exactly would equity in a relationship mean??

Equity isn't just a financial term !

It means 'fairness, justice, impartiality' etc. So Equity is 'Equal in Value' i.e men and women are both different and it is only fair for those differences to be appreciated and accommodated.

Asking a woman to put her career on hold because shes thinking of starting a family because her male counterpart can't is UNFAIR; the fact that she can bear children while a man cannot must be accommodated not a cut-throat definition of Equality be applied here.

Likewise there is no substitute for a mother therefore a working woman must not be expected to compete pound for pound with her male counterpart when she has a child back at home for that would be UNFAIR to her because he doesn't have such a limitation in this. Therefore this limitation of hers in the race for a better job ought to be appreciated and her role as a mother be accommodated instead of asking her to put in the same amount of works hours with the same intensity as her male counterpart is doing.

Similarly there are times and places a woman should not be asked to go to; get the man to do that ! For example in the firm I was working for whenever we were sent outside of Lahore for some stock-take especially if it involved an over-night stay; it was always the men who got those jobs....never the women - Thats fine by me !

And lastly the Husband ought to do more than his fair share of accommodation; if he doesn't get a promotion because hes always helping out at home and this enables his wife to have a career that shes always wanted to - Hes obliged to do so !

But if you look into it in another way,in my place,it will be the husband who will be supporting the entire wife's family. He will practically be the 'elder son' to the wife's home. If the wife has got younger sisters,husband will cover a good part of her marriage expenses.

Isn't he supposed to do that anway ? He is the Bread-Winner of the Family !

 

[acetophenol]

Isn't he supposed to do that anway ? He is the Bread-Winner of the Family !

In our place,usually its the sons that supports the family i.e, a son will look after his parents,his wife will be staying with his parents,being the 'girl of the house'. But in my place,son-in-laws will be supporting wife's family. Basically,in my place. the parents will be at the mercy of their daughter and son in law,and thats female empowerment for you!

 

[The SiLent crY]

As far as I know , Woman's surname will not change in Iran after marriage but people ( relatives and close friends ) usually use husbsnd's family name to call her but at work , etc her surname is used .

As one of our friends said , I believe in a family as a unit with a single name , these sorts of freedoms that women always try to get are just annoying .

 

[Armstrong]

In our place,usually its the sons that supports the family i.e, a son will look after his parents,his wife will be staying with his parents,being the 'girl of the house'. But in my place,son-in-laws will be supporting wife's family. Basically,in my place. the parents will be at the mercy of their daughter and son in law,and thats female empowerment for you!

Well fortunately for us such a son-in-law is looked down upon in our society and is a rarity !

Hes supposed to look after his family, his parents and if need-be his wife's family !

 

[Jf Thunder]

believe me, it works... and not only the northy ladies, heh heh... bloody hell, it even gets admiring ( or jealous ) glances from the males...

HA GAY

Yes....we men like to brand our cows !

Thats how we do it !

Jokes Aside - I dunno why it happens but it does; most women in my family and extended family barring a few exceptions took their husband's names. Its just what people do !

i find this offensive sh**

 

[jamahir]

HA GAY

i see... razpak calls you that and you in turn call me that... getting defensive, are you??

but i am sure you too want the george clooney hairstyle... many males who are straight as a new titanium arrow want that hairstyle... what say you??

don't male film stars or any distinguished gentleman get admiration from males too??

 

[Armstrong]

@levina - No Reply !

 

[Levina]

Equity isn't just a financial term !

It means 'fairness, justice, impartiality' etc. So Equity is 'Equal in Value' i.e men and women are both different and it is only fair for those differences to be appreciated and accommodated.

Asking a woman to put her career on hold because shes thinking of starting a family because her male counterpart can't is UNFAIR; the fact that she can bear children while a man cannot must be accommodated not a cut-throat definition of Equality be applied here.

Likewise there is no substitute for a mother therefore a working woman must not be expected to compete pound for pound with her male counterpart when she has a child back at home for that would be UNFAIR to her because he doesn't have such a limitation in this. Therefore this limitation of hers in the race for a better job ought to be appreciated and her role as a mother be accommodated instead of asking her to put in the same amount of works hours with the same intensity as her male counterpart is doing.

Similarly there are times and places a woman should not be asked to go to; get the man to do that ! For example in the firm I was working for whenever we were sent outside of Lahore for some stock-take especially if it involved an over-night stay; it was always the men who got those jobs....never the women - Thats fine by me !

And lastly the Husband ought to do more than his fair share of accommodation; if he doesn't get a promotion because hes always helping out at home and this enables his wife to have a career that shes always wanted to - Hes obliged to do so !



Isn't he supposed to do that anway ? He is the Bread-Winner of the Family !

My funda is simpler...I'm a woman and family is my first priority and not my career.The day I feel I cant look after my child because of a hectic career,I would resign.I'm not expecting same from my hubby because one, he wont be able to take care of my child as much as I can (I'm not generalizing here,some men can be better at this).Two, his job is more demanding and ergo I dont expect this from him.
When it comes to balancing a career and family I think every woman should prioritize things depending upon the situation in her family. Crying out for equality wont help.But yes there're some women who are forced to work because of their financial situation. Just striving to get equity/equality wont help.A husband and wife must discuss and workout a solution in such cases.

 

[Hyde]

I can't say about others but half of my family members changed sirname after marriage and remaining half did not. It could be duty to laziness or they didn't care about it. I find it funny when people take this issue as a matter of life and death. It should be independent decision of wife in my opinion. If she deems fit, change it. If not then don't

 

[Chronos]

Well fortunately for us such a son-in-law is looked down upon in our society and is a rarity !

Hes supposed to look after his family, his parents and if need-be his wife's family !

Hey Armstrong, I think this is because in Kerala, a lot of Men especially from the Muslim community go to the Gulf community for sending remittances.

They return back for a month or so and spend vast majority of the time working in Dubai etc to raise money.

It also used to be that certain communities in Kerala were Matrlineal and the husbands went to the Wife's family, though that has changed.

 

[baajey]

whimsically, i wud love my wife to take my name.
practically, its upto her. practically bcoz name changing in all the documents, cards etc is a headache n i dont want her to go through all this bullsh*t.
on the other hand, naming the kids wud be a mess. and with each generation (and a little bit of personal ego), the surnames will reach such a length that it becomes a tongue exercise.

 

[MastanKhan]

Name change: I discussed this with my wife before getting married, It was voluntary option for her, and she agreed to add my family name to hers. But nothing comes for free in this world, the deal at the outset was she would get name all future children and pets, almost 2 years now into the marriage, I am realizing that fineprint was after taking my family name, she is going to make not just decisions of pets/ children names, but all decisions for me for the rest of my life....

Papi,

You been had----and it is not the indian term 'paapi' but slang for daddy.

 

[Aepsilons]

I say, why get marred at all. Social contracts and customs associated with this put unnecessary stress on men's lives.

Better to live a successful, productive career with little to no limitations.

 

[Selous]

For any Muslim bro/sis here advocating that women should take their husbands name after marriage...let me just make it known that it is generally considered impermissible (makrooh) for a woman to change her name to her husbands. peace out.

 

[Levina]

I say, why get marred at all. Social contracts and customs associated with this put unnecessary stress on men's lives.

As if women luv getting married
We also love our "independence".