Have you seen a relationship between an average American high school kid with their parents. Well, that should give you enough reasons.
American kids do argue with their parents more than the average Pakistani kid, but this does not imply disrespect. In this country everyone has a job and car after the age of 16. This means kids here don't rely on their parents for money, and they go out almost daily to work, after which they hang out with their friends. The kids feel like it's their right to spend money and their time as they wish, within resonable limits, such as being home by 11 o clock on school nights. In America kids "grow up" much faster and assume responsibilites faster. The are much more independent than a Pakistani kid of this age, and as soon as they turn 18, they move out. Even if they're going to college in the same town, they still move out and that is what the parents want as well because this is seen as a sign of adulthood and responsibility. Parents want their kids to be out in the real world and experiencing what it feels like to have to pay bills and to cook ones own food. Anyone who lives with their parents beyond the age of 18 is usually considered a loser, because why would you be relying on your parents at an age when you are able to work? This age is an imporant part of your life where you're supposed to be learning about the real world.
Pakistanis usually take all the above to mean that the kids hate their parents and want to get away because they don't like their parents, which is not true at all.
There are some places where a formal atmosphere needs to be maintained. School is definitely one of them. IMO, American school culture is pretty bad.
Americans are the most productive nation in the world. Ever wonder where that trait comes from? Their high schools.
Ever since the first day an American steps foot into a high school, they are on their own. Not in the sense that teachers don't help them if they want help, but in the sense that nobody will impose anything on you. Once you're in high school, you get homework, and you're expected to turn it in at a certain date. If you don't, the teacher dosen't ask you why you did not turn it in, one does not need to invent lame excuses. So anyone who dosen't want to do the work is allowed to be a bum, and they get 0s.
If you are born to be an idiot, you will always be an idiot, no matter how much "discipline" someone tries to hammer into you. In high schools here there is no uniform, kids can go home or to any off-campus restaurant during lunch break, and they're allowed to bring their cars. There is no checking of silly things like the length of the hair of male students and jewellery on female students. Most high schools allow you to talk on cellphones in the hallways and bring your PSPs and iPods. Students are regularly seen making out in the hallways. All these things would be shocking lapses of discipline to a headmaster/mistress/principal in a South Asian school.
Yet, America produces the worlds best scientists, engineers and artists. How does that happen? Because kids who're born to learn will learn. The carefree, informal environment of American schools allows one to think critically and creatively, it allows one to be an individual. Kids dress as goths, preps, jocks, carpenters, skaters, emos, nerds and God knows what else.
Americans value individuality, which is why their schools are not modelled around "discipline" which wants everyone to look the same and behave the same (communism! Watch the music video by Pink Floyd, "We don't need no thought control"). I was told I was too formal by my American teachers. They do not mind students addressing them by name, here if you address someone by their name without any title such as "Mr" or "professor" it is a sign that you like them.
The kids who don't listen to the teachers will end up working at McDonalds or being bus drivers when they grow up. They will pay for their lack of interest in school, while those who did will in high schools have already acquired the skills to succeed on their own, and know that anything can be achieved with hard work in the land of the opportunities.
So, as far as I can see, this nation which has zero discipline in it's schools is beating everyone by a thousand lightyears. Maybe time to rethink the "formal discipline" mantra being practiced in South Asia for centuries
Also, I don't know what are the trends in India, but in Pakistan more and more affluent kids are choosing to drop out of their high schools and finish their O and A levels privately, by studying at tuition centers. There they are not bound by stupid rules that they have to obey in school; they wear what they like, they take their cellphones with them, they talk to their friends as much as they like. They are paying the tuition center good money, so the teachers there let them do whatever they like. Seems to me like there is a connection here - kids like free environments. And they end up getting better grades than those who attend regular schools.
Also elite schools like mine (City) and Karachi Grammar etc are also loosening up their rules. When I was there we used to come to school in our fancy cars, in nike or jordan basketball shoes, and girls in flip-flops, and the schools had given up trying to confiscate cellphones or to stop students from "bunking". I definitely see a trend. The more affluent people become, the more individuality they cherish. It also means that individuality leads to progress and creativity, and "discipline" is good for nothing except raising armies.
IMO Pakistan culture's formality is due to Islamic influence. I have a book by Munshi ul Mulk Thathwi, secretary of Aurangzeb while he was a still a prince. This is a collection of letters in Persian probably dictated by the Prince and written by the Munshi on his behalf. 80% of the letter is nothing but praise to the king and prayers for his long life and only a couple of lines in the end about the real subject matter.
Yes, most of our cultures formal influence comes from Islam. But it also is a result of 200 years of British rule. Those people are so snobby, I can't believe it.
Oh and I just realized, America might have it's informal cultural roots in the fact that everyone who came here hated Europe. They were the "rebels" and the poor of Europe, without any snobbishness and "class" in them. Australia is another prime example of a country that was founded by criminals and today they're one of the jolliest, most informal culture in the world.
I am personally against the kids behaving rudely towards their parents and their teachers. Among my generation, we listened to whatever the father or an elder had to say quitely. Didnot necessarily did what we were told; but never answered back.
I don't mean to be racist here, but most rude kids in America are blacks and Hispanics. These kids come from the poorest working class families, and often their father is abusive to their mother. They have no role models in life and their parents are almost illiterate. You can find the equivalent of these in the street kids of Pakistan who've run away from home to sleep on footpaths because their fathers beat them and make them beg for drug money.
Should such parents be respected? I don't think so.
What is the harm in respecting elders? I mean respect and formal environment are two different things one can oppose formal environment but he can’t oppose respect, man these are our values. Friendship with parents should be there but respect should also be the part of it.
Like I said, not all parents are angels. As humans they are prone to faults and sometimes the kids interest is not in their heart (believe it or not!). I had a classmate in 6th grade. He used to tell me how his father used to savagely beat him with hangars. His old man was a complete psycopath. If any father did that here he'd go to jail for a good 10 years.
Also, one last point on "discipline" in education. Over the years in Pakistan, I got hit by teachers many times (this was in PAF schools, I can't imagine the situation in civilian schools). These slaps have left an impact on me, one that I cannot erase. I remember a Pathan teacher who used to write a math problem on the board, and then turn around and explain. He told us to stop writing when he was explaining. But he used to turn around and instantly erase it, giving us no time to copy it down. Since Pakistan has the "ratta" system (at least the government schools), it was imperative that I copy it down. So one day I was trying to surreptitiously copy from the board while he was explaining, and he caught me. He slapped the living daylights out of me. He slapped me so hard on my neck so many times I'm amazed my head didn't come off. Kids used to be so scared of him that they never learnt any math, they would all concentrate their hardest on not getting slapped by him.
I see how "discipline" helps advance the cause of mathematics in Pakistan.
