China’s ‘monkey king’ picks Trump as next US president
In this photo taken on November 3, 2016, a monkey kisses the cardboard cutout of US Presidential candidate Donald Trump during a selection intended to predict the result of the US election at a park in Changsha. -AFP
Keep in mind, in 1995 the madman lost almost $1 billion and according to media reports has not paid any taxes for more than 18 years. Think about it what can this madman do to our economy, jobs, and businesses?!Donald Trump comes to us only as “businessman.” So considering it’s his one and only qualification for the candidacy, you’d think he’d be better at it.
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Of course, everyone is familiar with Trump’s real estate failings (more generally known as Atlantic City), but it’s the business ventures where his recklessness really shines. The man licensed his name to hundreds of trademarks (like the game show below that lasted but a year) and incorporated countless businesses-to-be, but only a select few (dozen) were actually led by the hand of the Donald himself.
So to commemorate our country’s imminent President Trump-wrought downfall, we’ve compiled every major, non-real estate-related Trump business disaster out there (we think). Because while we aim for completeness, the man has failed—a lot. If you know of anything we missed, please do let us know down below. And Donald, good luck with that wall.
Trump Steaks
Launched: 2007
Service rendered: Steaks
Years in business: 1
What went wrong: Trump filed the trademark nearly ten years ago, noting that it would be used for “meat, namely, beef, veal, lamb, and pork.” The meat itself came from the Sysco-owned Buckhead Beef, and after first (and presumably, unsuccessfully) attempting to sell the Trump-branded meat on a custom steak-centric website...
As you would expect of anything worthy of bearing the Trump name, the steaks didn’t come cheap. For instance, $1,000 would buy you 24 burgers, 16 steaks, and the dull pangs of regret.
For whatever reason, the wildly expensive steaks sold by a novelty electronics chain didn’t fly off the shelves. Or, as Levin put it, “The net of all that [media attention] was we literally sold almost no steaks,” Levin said. “If we sold $50,000 of steaks grand total, I’d be surprised.”
But how did they taste? According to one reviewer, “They are really greasy, have no flavor, over-priced and just gross!!
GoTrump.com
View attachment 349437
Launched: 2006
Service rendered: Travel search engine
Years in business: 1
What went wrong: Remember Orbitz? Expedia? What about Travelocity? GoTrump.com provided exactly the same service but with significantly more Trump (i.e. pictures of his face, a delightful mustard-gold trim, and “Trump Picks,” which highlighted “specific hotels and vacation packages that are his personal favorites”).
As Trump explained in the website’s About section, “I only put my name on the best, and at GoTrump.com you will get the best information and the best online rate available.” Unfortunately for the Donald, “the best” doesn’t really mean much of anything when you’re boasting both private jets and cheap hotel deals.
When the site launched, a financial analyst told The Washington Post that it seemed like “a vanity site” that “won’t make much money.” He was right. The site shut down the following year.
will continue....
Trump Airlines
View attachment 349443
Launched: 1989
Service rendered: Hourly flights between Boston, New York City, and Washington D.C.
Years in business: 4-ish
What went wrong: This was another case of Donald Trump attempting to turn a service that already exists into something a little more Trump-y. But this time, rather than build something entirely new, Trump purchased Eastern Air Lines Shuttle, which had been offering hourly flights on the East Coast since 1961 with moderate success. That all changed with Trump’s magic touch.
The airline had succeeded largely because of its no-frills service—you didn’t need a reservation ahead of time, there were no seat assignments, no check-ins, and no boarding passes. You’d show up and hop on a plane for relatively cheap. When Trump bought 17 of the company’s Boeing 727s for $365 million in 1988, “he added maple-wood veneer to the floors, chrome seat-belt latches and gold-colored bathroom fixtures.”
Apparently, customers who appreciated the service’s ease weren’t into the over-the-top makeover. Alienated customers combined with the high fuel prices of the late 80s translated to Trump Airlines never turning a profit. As Timeexplains, “The high debt forced Trump to default on his loans, and ownership of the company was turned over to creditors. The Trump Shuttle ceased to exist in 1992 when it was merged into a new corporation, Shuttle Inc. No word on whether the gold-plated faucets survived the merger.”
Trump Vodka
View attachment 349444
Launched: 2006
Service Rendered: Drunk
Years in business: 5
What went wrong: After labeling the drink as “The World’s Finest Super Premium Vodka” and proudly quintuple-distilling it in Holland from “select European wheat,” Trump was proudly telling anyone who’d listen that T&Ts (Trump and tonic) were about to become the number one drink in the country.
Trump was supposedly attempting to rival Grey Goose for a spot on the nation’s top shelves. No one else seemed to have gotten that message, though, and the drink went out of production in 2011 when no one ever wanted to drink it.
more failures, will continue....
Keep in mind, in 1995 the madman lost almost $1 billion and according to media reports has not paid any taxes. Think about it what can this madman do to our economy, jobs, and businesses?!
Trump Mortgage
View attachment 349607
Launched: 2006
Service rendered: Residential and commercial real estate financing
Years in business: 1.5
What went wrong: Even someone as deluded as Donald Trump probaby should have been able to predict this one. While the bubble hadn’t burst quite yet, in 2006, market prices were already starting to fall. And a few months after that is when Trump Mortgage decided to make its debut, with Trump telling CNBC that it was “a great time to start a mortgage company. I’ve been hearing about this bubble for so many years from you and everybody else in your world, but I haven’t seen it. I will let you know when I see it.”
ask him about it now, Trump calls the business a “tiny deal” that “he never ultimately moved forward with”—which is objectively untrue. Trump did move forward with the company, it’s just that no one wanted to follow.
Trump: The Game
View attachment 349609
Launched: 1989
Service rendered: Family fun
Years in business: 1
What went wrong: In 1989, Donald Trump decided that if people love Monopoly, surely they’ll love what is essentially the same thing but Trump-themed. He convinced Milton Bradley to release the game, assuring them that this face could move 2 million units off shelves in a year.
His face, of course, could not, and the game went out of production after a year. But for the Trump purists among us, you can still buy a (lightly used version of) the game for an appropriate $69 on Amazon.
Trump Magazine
View attachment 349610
Launched: 2007
Service rendered: Entertainment for luxury-enthusiasts
Years in business: 2-ish
What went wrong: The magazine launched in late 2007—just after his mortgage company was forced to shut its doors. Most people might see a failing market and a just-failed business venture as a sign that maybe it’s not a great time to start a print publication dependent on a general interest in luxury goods. Donald Trump, however, is not most people.
While the magazine “saw early success, cashing in on the booming advertising market for yachts and other high-end commodities” (at least according to the closing press release), in actuality, it... did not. As it turns out, people suffering from a major recession aren’t too keen on “yachts” or “high-end commodities” or “anything that requires money.” Who knew.
more disasters coming, will continue.....
Just like his long list of flop businesses, his economic plan would be a disaster for the US economy...... more tax breaks for filthy rich and increase in national debt.Keep in mind, in 1995 the madman lost almost $1 billion and according to media reports has not paid any taxes. Think about it what can this madman do to our economy, jobs, and businesses?!
Trump Mortgage
View attachment 349607
Launched: 2006
Service rendered: Residential and commercial real estate financing
Years in business: 1.5
What went wrong: Even someone as deluded as Donald Trump probaby should have been able to predict this one. While the bubble hadn’t burst quite yet, in 2006, market prices were already starting to fall. And a few months after that is when Trump Mortgage decided to make its debut, with Trump telling CNBC that it was “a great time to start a mortgage company. I’ve been hearing about this bubble for so many years from you and everybody else in your world, but I haven’t seen it. I will let you know when I see it.”
ask him about it now, Trump calls the business a “tiny deal” that “he never ultimately moved forward with”—which is objectively untrue. Trump did move forward with the company, it’s just that no one wanted to follow.
Trump: The Game
View attachment 349609
Launched: 1989
Service rendered: Family fun
Years in business: 1
What went wrong: In 1989, Donald Trump decided that if people love Monopoly, surely they’ll love what is essentially the same thing but Trump-themed. He convinced Milton Bradley to release the game, assuring them that this face could move 2 million units off shelves in a year.
His face, of course, could not, and the game went out of production after a year. But for the Trump purists among us, you can still buy a (lightly used version of) the game for an appropriate $69 on Amazon.
Trump Magazine
View attachment 349610
Launched: 2007
Service rendered: Entertainment for luxury-enthusiasts
Years in business: 2-ish
What went wrong: The magazine launched in late 2007—just after his mortgage company was forced to shut its doors. Most people might see a failing market and a just-failed business venture as a sign that maybe it’s not a great time to start a print publication dependent on a general interest in luxury goods. Donald Trump, however, is not most people.
While the magazine “saw early success, cashing in on the booming advertising market for yachts and other high-end commodities” (at least according to the closing press release), in actuality, it... did not. As it turns out, people suffering from a major recession aren’t too keen on “yachts” or “high-end commodities” or “anything that requires money.” Who knew.
more disasters coming, will continue.....
))
According to the Urban-Brookings Tax Policy Center (TPC) estimates that a plan consistent with the revised "Trump tax plan would reduce federal revenue by $6.2 trillion over the first decade of implementation and by an additional $8.9 trillion in the second decade".Just like his long list of flop businesses, his economic plan would be a disaster for the US economy...... more tax breaks for filthy rich and increase in national debt.
And that's why, three hundred and seventy economists, including eight Nobel Prize winners, co-signed a letter that asserts, "Trump is a dangerous, destructive choice for the country. He misinforms the electorate, degrades trust in public institutions with conspiracy theories, and promotes willful delusion over engagement with reality.”
Wake up people, before you lose your job, your business, your car, and your house!
Trump Ice
View attachment 349650
Launched: 2004
Service rendered: Hydration
Years in business: Less than 1
What went wrong: In 2004, Donald Trump decided that people were crazy about the water available in his hotels and casinos, announcing that “it was so good that people wanted to buy cases of it.” Attempts to distribute widely failed, and the water is once again relegated to Trump’s own properties.
The New Jersey Generals
View attachment 349652
Owner: 1984-1985
Service rendered: Football
Years in business: 2
What went wrong: Since Trump couldn’t buy an NFL team of his own, he settled on the next best thing—the short-lived United States Football League established to challenge the NFL. Realizing he had a million other projects on his plate, though, Trump quickly sold the team only to buy them back again in the very same year.
Things only got worse from there, according to Business Insider, “The team folded one year later, in 1985, along with the entire USFL. People blamed Trump for the demise of not only the team, but the entire league. Allegedly, he was trying to pull the Generals into the NFL — and made poor investment decisions in the process.”
Talking about the ordeal now, Trump notes that he “did something I rarely do with the USFL. I went into something that was not good.” As rare as every single endeavor on this list.
Tour de Trump
(Side note, listening to his BS, reminds me of his bogus election promises
Launched: 1989
Service rendered: Bike races
Years in business: 2
What went wrong: Keeping with the theme of taking an iconic, wildly successful established tradition and turning it into a fucking mess, Donald Trump decided that he’d bring the Tour de France to us, just—you know, Trump-ier. When asked why he didn’t go with something that made sense, like the Tour de America, for instance, Trump said, “We could, if we wanted to have a less successful race. If we wanted to down-scale it.”
The first year, which sent riders from Albany to Atlantic City, actually managed to bring in some bag names, but unfortunately for Donald Trump, he just didn’t have the money to keep his name attached. Two years after starting the circuit, he was forced to sell his race to the DuPont Corporation, which then changed the name and removed every last trace of Trump.
Trump on the Ocean
View attachment 349653
Launched: 2012
Service rendered: Restaurant/catering hall
Years in business: 0.3
What went wrong: Located on the boardwalk in Jones Beach, Long Island, the gargantuan dining space totaled 80,000-square-feet with a 14,000-square-foot basement, all of which we’re sure looked great for the four months before Hurricane Sandy hit. According to Eater, the state had actually shot down Trump’s proposal four separate times since 2006. Once the hurricane took down Trump, though, he agreed to kill his plan—much to the delight of the surrounding community who never wanted it there in the first place. (there you have it folks, short and stupid, disaster
short break, business disaster will continue.......
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