Safriz
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If you were to listen to Ukraines National Expert Commission for Protecting Public
Morality, youd believe that the Eastern European countrys children are under attack
from the menace of American cartoon
shows like Spongebob Squarepants and
Family Guy that promote the homosexual agenda and the destruction of the family you know, the stuff
conservative Christian activists and groups over here in the States
complain about on a daily basis (and occasionally proceed to accidentally light a pro-gay companys lawn on fire ). The commission is especially concerned with banning the long-running
Nickelodeon cartoon Spongebob because they believe (like everyone
else) that the titular squeaky-voiced character has a homoerotic
relationship with his best friend, a goofy pink starfish named Patrick, with whom the sponge is regularly depicted holding hands. The bureaucrats also find disturbing the fact that Mr. Squarepants an animated sponge who works at an underwater burger restaurant
lives in a pineapple under the sea (absorbant and yellow and
porous is he), and takes boating lessons from a teacher named Mrs. Puff, who happens to be a blowfish. Whats so offensive there? Well, puff is a term often used to describe a gay man, as if Ukrainian
children knew that. (Come to think of it, isnt SpongeBobs grumpy
neighbor Squidward a bit phallic?) The group also takes aim at the popular British childrens show,
Teletubbies because they believe it creates an imbecile who will sit
near the screen with an open mouth and swallow any information.
Ouch, tell that to my 4-year-old cousin. The report warns that male
teletubby Tinky Winky carries what some believe to be a womans handbag. In real life, boys very rarely want to put on girls clothes,
writes the commission. Some of the other dastardly shows under fire include Foxs adult
cartoons Family Guy and The Simpsons, and Pokémon? The first two
are obviously, as the report claims, projects aimed at the destruction
of the family, and the promotion of drugs and other vices. But
Pokémon? I guess its all in the name, which only sick perverts would
interpret as poke a man, or something? Or because the human characters throw balls at each other. I dont know. Im trying here. If all these morality police-like complaints sound awfully familiar to
Americans, its because they are. Conservative Christian groups here
have been whining about these shows for years (for instance, in 1999,
Rev. Jerry Falwell complained that the gay Tinky Winky teletubby was flat-out bad for children). It seems like Ukraine is just fabulously late to the party. Luckily for us, the difference is that in America the whiners are usually
just independent organizations and not actual government agencies.
Morality, youd believe that the Eastern European countrys children are under attack
from the menace of American cartoon
shows like Spongebob Squarepants and
Family Guy that promote the homosexual agenda and the destruction of the family you know, the stuff
conservative Christian activists and groups over here in the States
complain about on a daily basis (and occasionally proceed to accidentally light a pro-gay companys lawn on fire ). The commission is especially concerned with banning the long-running
Nickelodeon cartoon Spongebob because they believe (like everyone
else) that the titular squeaky-voiced character has a homoerotic
relationship with his best friend, a goofy pink starfish named Patrick, with whom the sponge is regularly depicted holding hands. The bureaucrats also find disturbing the fact that Mr. Squarepants an animated sponge who works at an underwater burger restaurant
lives in a pineapple under the sea (absorbant and yellow and
porous is he), and takes boating lessons from a teacher named Mrs. Puff, who happens to be a blowfish. Whats so offensive there? Well, puff is a term often used to describe a gay man, as if Ukrainian
children knew that. (Come to think of it, isnt SpongeBobs grumpy
neighbor Squidward a bit phallic?) The group also takes aim at the popular British childrens show,
Teletubbies because they believe it creates an imbecile who will sit
near the screen with an open mouth and swallow any information.
Ouch, tell that to my 4-year-old cousin. The report warns that male
teletubby Tinky Winky carries what some believe to be a womans handbag. In real life, boys very rarely want to put on girls clothes,
writes the commission. Some of the other dastardly shows under fire include Foxs adult
cartoons Family Guy and The Simpsons, and Pokémon? The first two
are obviously, as the report claims, projects aimed at the destruction
of the family, and the promotion of drugs and other vices. But
Pokémon? I guess its all in the name, which only sick perverts would
interpret as poke a man, or something? Or because the human characters throw balls at each other. I dont know. Im trying here. If all these morality police-like complaints sound awfully familiar to
Americans, its because they are. Conservative Christian groups here
have been whining about these shows for years (for instance, in 1999,
Rev. Jerry Falwell complained that the gay Tinky Winky teletubby was flat-out bad for children). It seems like Ukraine is just fabulously late to the party. Luckily for us, the difference is that in America the whiners are usually
just independent organizations and not actual government agencies.
