TWO COWS EXPLAINING THE WORLD!!!

[Xeric]

A SOCIALIST:
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.



A REPUBLICAN:
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none. So what?



A DEMOCRAT:
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being
successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows,
forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The
people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a
cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.




A COMMUNIST:
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.



A FASCIST:
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and sells you
the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.




AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when the cow drops dead.





A FRENCH CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.




A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size
of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.




A GERMAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You reengineer them so they live for 100 years,
eat once a month, and milk themselves.





AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows,
but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.



A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have 5 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.





A MEXICAN CORPORATION:
You think you have two cows,
but you don't know what a cow looks like.
You take a nap.





A SWISS CORPORATION:
You have 5000 cows, none of which belongs to you.
You charge for storing them for others.



AN INDIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You worship them.

 

[Dalai Lama]

Should I be wary?

 

[FreekiN]

A PAKISTANI CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell them off and get ripped off.
You find a thousand cows. (Balochistan resources)
You still get ripped off.

 

[JonAsad]

ANOTHER PAKISTANI CORPORATION:

You have two cows
You transfer them to Swiss Account
You ask for 10 more cows from America
You transfer 8 more to Swiss Account
You still have two cows
You milk one and pay ineterest of another one cow
You have one cow left it is weak and almost dead
and your term is over.

 

[W.11]

pakistani corporation

they have two cows
but cows produce milk worth 100 cows
the milk tastes little different
but pakistanis buy them anyway, they dont care
the milk is jali(fake) milk..
1 drop of real milk becomes 1 litre of milk by mixing water

 

[nightcrawler]

A Pakistani Citizen

You have to cows
you wait till Baqra eid
you sell your cows @ price for 6 cows
you enter mosque & offer money to Maulvi
& ask God to forgive your money-laundering!!

 

[H2O3C4Nitrogen]

A SOCIALIST:


AN INDIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You worship them.

Bulls Eye

BTW i have seen hindus here Eating Beef as if they dont care... we use to make fun like.. Hey ur eating ur Godess...

 

[bandit]

The rest of cows....


A BRITISH CORPORATION -- You have two cows. Both are mad.

A CHINESE CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION -- You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.

ENRON CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.

ARTHUR ANDERSON, LLC -- You have 2 cows. You shred all documents that Enron has any cows, take 2 cows from Enron for payment for consulting the cows, and attest that Enron has 9 cows.

 

[mautkimaut]

Bulls Eye

BTW i have seen hindus here Eating Beef as if they dont care... we use to make fun like.. Hey ur eating ur Godess...

Not all Hindus are vegetarians
.and Hindus worship 33 crore gods, everything is sacred to us.but in the end everything is part of Maya and everything returns back to the great enlightened being,

 

[jbond197]

Bulls Eye

BTW i have seen hindus here Eating Beef as if they dont care... we use to make fun like.. Hey ur eating ur Godess...

Nothing wrong with that.. After all its personal choice and beliefs... BTW I have few muslim friends who are avid drunkard and pork lovers..
We used to make fun of them.. Guys, you are going against your rule book...

 

[Chogy]

An Airline: (I work for one)
You have two cows.

You divide the cows into tens of thousands of tiny, bad, in-flight meals, and sell each of the meals for $25. You buy two more cows with 1% of the profits, and the rest goes to senior management as "performance bonuses."

 

[H2O3C4Nitrogen]

We used to make fun of them.. Guys, you are going against your rule book...

Damn.. its getting hard to be a good Muslim these days..

 

[Frankenstein]

MY CORPORATION

I HAVE TWO COWS

I WILL SELL THEM AND BUY CHICKENS

as I dont like cow meat

 

[nightcrawler]

 

[dray]

Old but informative thread on cows!