The Jokes Thread

[F86 Saber]

Well i've been wondering if there exists such a thread in PDF but havn't been able to spot one yet. Anyways if it does exist please feel free to delete this one.

Lets keep it civilized guys.


I am starting off with a few which may have been heard. Please contribute.

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Khan Sahib found a Magic Lamp, he rubbed it and a Ginnie appeared.

Ginnie " You have freed me and now i will fulfill you three wishes"

Khan Sb....after pondering for a long time.

" Khocha mujh ko aik aise Naswaar ka packet day do jisko main jitna merzi istmaal keron us main niswar kabhi khatam na ho"

Poooffttt...and a Niswar ka packet appears in Khan Sb's hand. He takes two three pinches and is very happy to find the it magically refills.

Ginnie " Ok now what are you other two wishes"

Delighted with the results of the first packet of Niswar, Khan Sb says " Oye Kocha mughe do (Two) aisay packet aur day do"

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A man finds a magic Ginnie who tells him that he can fulfill one wish for him.

The man " Make a road between Pakistan and USA so that i can travel to USA whenever I want"

Ginnie " Sire, there are 7 seas, a lot of mountains and many more hurdles in between so it will not be possible, please think of something else.

Man " Alright, than make me dominant over my wife"

Ginnie after having a thought " Do you want the road to be one way or two way"

 

[JonAsad]

Pakistan and India both find the magic lamp at the same time.
As usual they started fighting over the ownership of the lamp, when accidently the lamb was rubbed and the gennie came out.

The Gennie a bit confused decided to grant one wish each to Pakistan and India.
So again the fight broke who will have the first wish.

Finally Gennie decided to give India the first wish as it seems to himthat its always on the receiving end.

India wished that i am sick and tired of Pakistan they support terrorism and export terrorists to India.. I wish Make huge walls on every border of India so high that no one can enter into India from any where.

Poooffttt.. and there were Huge walls all over Indian borders

Then the gennie ask Pakistan make your wish.

Pakistan after having a little thought Wished fill it with water.

 

[PracticalGuy]

Pakistan and India both find the magic lamp at the same time.
As usual they started fighting over the ownership of the lamp, when accidently the lamb was rubbed and the gennie came out.

The Gennie a bit confused decided to grant one wish each to Pakistan and India.
So again the fight broke who will have the first wish.

Finally Gennie decided to give India the first wish as it seems to himthat its always on the receiving end.

India wished that i am sick and tired of Pakistan they support terrorism and export terrorists to India.. I wish Make huge walls on every border of India so high that no one can enter into India from any where.

Poooffttt.. and there were Huge walls all over Indian borders

Then the gennie ask Pakistan make your wish.

Pakistan after having a little thought Wished fill it with water.

the last time I checked.. it's Pakistan which needs water... LOL.. btw..nice thread..keep them coming..

 

[F86 Saber]

Musafir: Beta aap mujhe thora sa paani pila denge?

Bacha: Agar Lassi ho jae to?

Musafir: Tab to bohat he acha hai

Musafir nay Lassi kay 5 payalay pene ka baad bache sa pocha: Kya tumhara ghar main Lassi koi nahin peta

Bacha: Petay to sab hain Laikin aaj Lassi mein maindak (Frog) gir gaya tha

Musafir nay gussay main payala zameen per day mara

Bacha: Ammi!!!! Uncle nay payala toor diya aap Munna Potti kis mein karay ga......

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[captain Maximo]

good one guys

 

[Mugwop]

When Goodluck meets Bad Luck

 

[Dubious]

Pakistan and India both find the magic lamp at the same time.
As usual they started fighting over the ownership of the lamp, when accidently the lamb was rubbed and the gennie came out.

The Gennie a bit confused decided to grant one wish each to Pakistan and India.
So again the fight broke who will have the first wish.

Finally Gennie decided to give India the first wish as it seems to himthat its always on the receiving end.

India wished that i am sick and tired of Pakistan they support terrorism and export terrorists to India.. I wish Make huge walls on every border of India so high that no one can enter into India from any where.

Poooffttt.. and there were Huge walls all over Indian borders

Then the gennie ask Pakistan make your wish.

Pakistan after having a little thought Wished fill it with water.

lamb beech mein kahan say aai?

But nice joke

 

[Umair Nawaz]

When Goodluck meets Bad Luck

 

[My-Analogous]

2 ghantay aatay ki line main khara rehte huye ek aadmi ghussay se chillaya.
Main Zaradari ko goli marnay ja raha hon.
Kuch dari baat woh wapas aakr aatay ki line main khara ho gaya.
Kisi ne pucha.
“Kyon Maar Diya?”
Usne maayusi se jawab diya.
Wahan pe bhi line lagi hui hai.

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Jin: Kia Hukum hai mere aaqa?
Sardar: Saari dunya main jitni bhi dolat hai, woh mere account main daal do.

Jin: Bakwaas na karo main Jin hon Zardari nahi.

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PPP Walay:
Tum kitnay bhutto maro gay har ghar se bhutto niklay ga...

MQM Walay:
Hum har ghar main saathi bantain gay phir kaisa bhutto niklay ga?

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BAAP: Me tmhari shadi apni mrzi se kronga.

BETA: No!

BAAP: Larki zardari ki beti hy

BETA: Phr Thek hy

Baap zardari k pas gaya..

BAAP: Mein tmhari beti ko bahu bnana chahta hun.

Zardari : no!

BAAP: Mera beta World Bank ka CEO hai.

Zardari: Phr Thek hai !

Baap world bank k president k pas jata hai.

BAAP: Mere bete ko bank ka CEO bna do

Presidnt: No!

BAAP: Wo zardari ka damad hai.

Presidnt: Phr Thek hai

THIS IS BUSSINESS

 

[asad71]

The British !!!

The train was quite crowded and a U.S. Marine walked the entire length
of the train looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a
well dressed, middle aged French woman's poodle.
The war-weary Marine asked, "Ma'am may I have that seat"?
The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular
"Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat".
The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was
under that dog.
Please Ma'am, may I sit down, I'm very tired?
She snorted, "Not only are you Americans rude you are also arrogant".
This time the Marine didn't say a word, he just picked up the little
dog, tossed it out the train window and sat down.
The woman shrieked "Someone must defend my honour! This American should
be put in his place!"
An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up. "Sir, you Americans seem
to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing." You hold your fork in
the wrong hand. You drive your cars on the wrong side of the road."
"And now Sir you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out the window".

 

[asad71]

10 Times Married and Still a Virgin (adult)

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom.

"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was lick it... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer.This time IknowI'm gonna get screwed!"