POLITICALLY INCORRECT
UPSET BY PUBLIC CRITICISM, AISHWARYA DIVORCES TREE
Noted cine star Aishwarya Rai has divorced her husband of four years, a tree. They were joined in holy matrimony to ward off evil, but Ms Rai, whose previous admirers include Inspector Clouseau, is dissatisfied with the results. A representative of bharatmatrimoney.com confirmed that they had received the mandate to find a replacement, and were scouting forests across the country. A banyan tree in Tirupati has reportedly been rejected by the actress for being ‘too gnarly.’ Ms Rai’s ex-husband was not available for comment, but his gardener reported that he has been shedding heavily. “He is devastated,” said the gardener. “He never thought he would find someone as wooden as her, and now he has lost her.”
