SMS Thread!!

[S.U.R.B.]

1 Admi k pas 15 inch ka chota sa Ghora tha
Dost: Ye kahan se lya
.
Admi: Pahar k pas 1 Baba hy us se jo mango deta hy
Lekin wo oncha sunta hy
.
Dost: Baba G mujhy heery ki bori do
Baba ne kuch parha to bori aagai
Wo ly k jb neechy aya to us me kheery thy
Usny Dost ko btaya k meny to heery mangy thy mgr ye to kheery hen
Dost ne jwab dya: Tumhy btaya tha k Baba oncha sunta hy
.
Ab tujhy kya lagta hy k meny 15 inch ka GHORA manga tha ?
pogo pogo pogo?
----------------

Looks like iss Admi ne gharr mein ghoree pal rakhe hee? Ya phir hukka pene ka socha hae?
15"...... is extraordinary.

 

[Xeric]

Wapda waleyo jan deyo
Thori jayi bijli te aan deyo
Menu facebook chalaan deyo
Facebook di bachi mun pher na laey
Koyi hor sala onu kair na laey
Garmi naal hun saah ne sukdey
Tuadi pain de viyaah nai mukdey
Mobile di battery mukki payi ae
Paani wali tanky sukki payi ae
Toilet vich v jaa nai sakde
Tissue naal kam chala nai sakde
Ki ki apne dukhre dasiye
Pal vich roiye pal vich hassiye
O baaz v aa jao HARAM DEYO
Thori jayi bijli te aan deyo.

----------------------

An Army officer was arrested for chasing a Nude Girl down the Marriott lobby being Naked himself.
His lawyer won acquittal citing Army Regulations:
"It is not compulsory for an Officer to wear a Uniform at all times, as long as he is Suitably attired for the Sports in which he is Engaged"

---------------------

Men's pearls of wisdom:
1-When I was born,I was given a choice;a big dick or a good memory.
I don't remember what I chose.
2-Panties are not the best thing on earth but next to the best thing on earth.
3-Pills are second best thing which women can put in mouth to avoid pregnency u know the first.
4-Having sex is like playing cards,if u don't have good partner u better have a good hand.
5-I tried phone sex once but the holes in the dialer were too small.

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Pakistanis work on the "Principle of Rockets"..
It does not mean we aim for the skies..
.
.
It means they do not start working unless their tail is on fire.!!

----------------------------

Father:
Beti bari ho k kiya bano gi...
Beti:
1)Maa banugi.
2)Shadi karungi.
3)Study karungi.
Father:
Jo marzi karna bas zara tarteeb seedhi rakhna.

 

[Xeric]

PM saab aap tu har jaga hi 30 second mein choot jatay hein.
Veena ka PM sexritariat mein bayan...

----------------

Aik jungle main aik Sanp rhta tha..
Us ko jb b bhook lagti thi wo kisi drakht py charh kr chirya k anday kha jata tha... Or hoty hoty wo sary anday kha gya. To jungle ki tamam chiryon ny jungle k badshah "shair" ko shikayat lagai..
Shair ny sanp ko bulaya or usay 3 din qaid main dalnay ka hukam diya.
Chiryon ny kaha ye Na'insafi hy ye saza to bohat thori hai...
Shair bola shukar kro ye jungle hy Pakistan nai warna 30sec ki saza hoti...

-----------

WIFE: Be Gentle plz its My 1st time on BED.
HUSBAND: What..! But you have been "DiVorcd Thrice"
WIFE: Yes...!
My 1st Husband was a "PhilosPher" He only talked about it...
2nd was "JUDGE" He just adjourn till next date...!
3rd was "EngiNeer" He needed a year to design a new way to do it...!
AND YOU are a "Lawyer" so this time I know I am going to be "FCUKED" Like ur Clients...

--------------

Teacher:
Batao Woh Konsi Aurat Hai Jisko 100% Sahi Pata Hota Hai K Uska Shohar Kahan Hai?
Student:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"BEWA AURAT"

---------------------
Driving test:
What do you do at a red light on signal?
Girl:
i usually respond to texts, check my emails, see updates on my facebook, and apply makeup again

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Boy ne ****** Girl se poocha:
Facebook use krti ho..??
Girl: Nai, mera rang wese e chitta ay..

 

[Abu Zolfiqar]

dude where do u find this stuff

 

[Xeric]

dude where do u find this stuff

Have lots of friends who think sending SMS is the best way to pass their time during load shedding.

 

[Abu Zolfiqar]

Have lots of friends who think sending SMS is the best way to pass their time during load shedding.

i hear you on that.....when there is no load sh*tting my nieces and nephews do the same.

An Army officer was arrested for chasing a Nude Girl down the Marriott lobby being Naked himself.
His lawyer won acquittal citing Army Regulations:
"It is not compulsory for an Officer to wear a Uniform at all times, as long as he is Suitably attired for the Sports in which he is Engaged"

 

[Xeric]

That's exactly how it is written in 'Army Dress Regulations'.

 

[Xeric]

Why I hate C.I.D..
An exmple..
Lady:rahul mera bhai tha.
Daya:kya? Rahul tumhara bhai tha?
Lady: han, rahul mera bhai tha.
Abhijeet:rahul sach me tmhara bhai tha???
Lady:ha sir... Wo mera bhai tha.
ACP: My God, iska matlb , tm rahul ki bahn ho0....:-D

-----------------------------
During class, teacher trying to teach good manners, asked: If you were on a date having dinner with a girl, how would you tell her that you have to go to toilet?'
.
Michael: 'Just a min I have to go pee.'
.
Teacher: That would be rude & impolite.
.
Andrew: 'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the toilet. I'll be right back.'
.
'Better, but it's not nice to say toilet at dinner table'.
.
Little Johnny: I would say: Darling, may I plz be excusd for a momnt? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce to you after dinner ;-)
.
The teacher fainted

-----------------

A lawyer on vacation, had affair with the innkeeper's daughter.
When he visited next year, he was surprised to see a baby in his girlfrnd's arms.
"Helen, why didnt u tell me? We cud hav gotton married & baby wud hav my name!!"
"Well," she replied, "when my family found my condition, we sat up all nite talking n talking and finally decided it is better to have a bastard in the family than a lawyer!!!"
geo aitizaz!

-------------------

Senate key seat , LPG Ka quota, wife made head of women cricket board , daughter got job in geneva. Yeh sub kisi b wakeel ko kuta bna sakte hn.
Geo Aitizaz

 

[Xeric]

Sher k retaire hony k bad Jungle k sary janwr naye badsha ko chunne k lye ijlas me ikhaty hoye thy
Loomri sadart
kar rahi thi
Cheeta, hathi, gorila keh rahy thy k badsha usay bnaya jaye
Achank kuta khara ho k bola k is bar badsha usay bnaya jaye
Loomri muskura k boli!
Maa sadky jaye Ye jungle hai Pakistan nai.

-----------------

Ameer ki olad: papa aj buhat garmi hai
Papa: Hum aj hi A/C lagwa lenge
Ghareb ki olad:
Abba aj kinni garmi ay
Abba: Chal teri tend karwa k le awan

----------------

Boy:- Namasty G light kab aye ge.
Wapda wala:-
janab namasty Q bola.
Boy:- Q k ap par salamati bhejna pore Pakistan walon se ghaddari hy...

------------
After 9th baby,
Woman to Priest:
"i Don't know why i get pregnant so often,
There Must b something in the air."
Priest :"Yes my child,
Ur Legs":-D

 

[Abu Zolfiqar]

here's my one-liner of the day:



a big F*CK you to Pakistanis who elect crooks and dont pay their taxes......

 

[Xeric]

Nurse ne Bacha Sardar k Hath ma dia
to
wo Khushi se chillaya;
Ballay Ballay..
Puttar hoya g Puttar hoya..
Nurse chillai;
Kanjra Kuri hoi a..
"Meri Ungal chad"

---------------

Woman's tongue :p
and
MAN's eye
Relax only
when they die ! :

-----------
1 molvi k hath se kawwa gosht cheen k urr gya
Morlvi guse se: gosht wapis kro wrna loud speaker me ailan kar duga k kawwa halal hay...

-----------
Cockroach to a guy who's about to kill him:
"You're just jealous that I can make your girlfriend scream louder than you can!"

---------------
Girl: Dunya ko batado k u luv me
Boy ne girl k kaan mai ahiste se kaha 'I love u'
Girl: Tmne ahiste se Q kha?
Boy: Qk tum hi meri dunya ho.
MORAL: Topi ;-) ..

 

[Xeric]

Molvi Sb ne Sehri k liye Doodh mn Jalebian Bhigo k rakhin.
Jb sehri ka time hua to Molvi sb ne apni Bv sy kaha k ja kr Jalebion wala piyala lao.
Bv ne dekha wo jalebian to Billi kha gai thi us ne molvi sb ko bataya.
Molvi sahib ny kambal orty huwe kaha
"Fer roza v Billi e Rakhy"

--------------
girl: mama main apny boy friend ko kia doon?
mama: Wo dikhta kaisa hay?
girl: Wonderful
Beautiful
Smart Cute
Nazuk shahzada
mama: Mera number de do

-----------------
Husband to wife:"Honey, I swear if u go 2 India they will worship u."
Wife:"Am I that beautiful?"
Husband: No, u look like a COW...

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Aftr Drinking:
Men talk unnecessarily
Bcme emotional
Drive badly
Stop thinking
Fight 4 nothing
.
Women can do all ths widout Drinking!
Naturaly talented..!

 

[Xeric]

3 Signs That The Person Is Working In The Army.
1. Stressed
2. Depressed
.
.
3. Still Well Dressed.

---------------

Qiamat ke 10 nishaniyan.
1. Zardari ghareeb ho jae ga.
2. Altaf Hussain Karachi aa jae ga.
3. Mushraf per mukadma chalay ga.
4. Shari Rahman perda karay ge.
5. Shaikh Rashed shadi karan gay.
6. Imran Khan PM ban jain gay.
7. Ch Shujat ko bolna aey ga.
8. Fazal ur Rahman pent shirt pahnen gay.
9. Misbah ul Haq taiz taren 50 ka record bana lay ga.

-------------
Have you ever noticed that when you shout in pakistan " OYE BEGHAIRAT"
.
.
About 10 people turn around ? :p

------------

Advantages of being a man:
People never glance at your chest while you're talking to them.
Your *** is never a factor in job interview.
You can eat a banana in public.
The world is ur urinal.
And the best one, here it goes...
You can buy condoms without the chemist imagining u naked!

 

[Abu Zolfiqar]

slacks may be modest but still nicely pressed

under those scars and cuts, still got the handsome well-kept face that's asking to be caressed

3 minute chit chat leaves others damn impressed





should i keep going lolz

 

[KRAIT]

Xeric, keep it up, ungli and cockroach wale Awesome the....