Our Einstein and Anti Terrorism Strategies

[Tehmasib]

I would like you people to be introduced to the Einstein of Pakistan. He has discovered some astonishing facts and therefore has established some amazing handy theories. He is not only his rival in technical terms but he also has paid tribute to Einstein by having a hair style analogous to that of Einstein. Yes, ladies and gentleman you have guessed it right, our worthy interior minister, Rehman Malik.Pakistani nation can never pay him back for his efforts for having dispelled all the securities threats to this nation.





He has put forth a number of theories which have their impact. According to his “Theory of Mobile Boms”;”All cell phone connections should be disabled on any major event to prevent bomb blasts”. The theory has other derived advantages as well. People will not get credit recharged on Eid and other occasions and hence it will economize the society as well by saving money. Less number of calls means less consumption of battery and hence reduces the need for mobile charging which eventually will improve the abysmal state of energy sector in Pakistan. Also, it will help saving a home as husband will call no one on Eid, it will keep his wife satisfied and she will not suspect him. See how a single theory of this genius man has brought so many side benefits with it.





According to another theory, “Theory of Bike Terrorism” invented by Malik, “No biker should be allowed on the roads from 9:am to 7:pm”. Theory have myriad of benefits, it not only helps control the terrorism acts in the country but also carries the benefit of low fuel consumption, helping the energy sector once more. It also saves life of those bikers who do one wheeling and also saves them from flu and cold as winter has arrived. Look how a single theory has solved terrorism, energy and health issues in one line. Have you ever seen a man genius than him?





His research does not end here; he is working on a number of other research areas as well, mainly related to the security and how to reconcile with MQM. Lets not discussed later, but let’s explore the former a little more. Having looked at his excellent theories, we might see following theories in the future by The Einstein of Pakistan.
· “Because of the acts of shoe thefts in Mosques, Mosques should be shut down to prevent this heinous act”.





· “If a person is suffering from flu, he should immediately have his nose amputated, no nose, no flu”.





· “As the water is contaminated in most of the areas, water supply should be cut off to provide a hygienic environment.”





· “Because of the security threats to politicians, National Assembly and Senate should be shifted abroad, so that decisions for nations’ prosperity are made without any pressure”





· “The balance of load shedding between major and minor cities is not equal. In order to divide it equally, there should be 24/7 blackout in the country.”





These theories will prove highly effective and will develop a society having justice,health, prospering energy sector with a peaceful environment.
Theories which Einstein presented were mere laws of physics, which were already there in the nature; however theories invented by Rehman Malik are a genuine product of his own genius brain.
In the end I would like to say that International Body for Nobel Prizeshould award Mr. Rehman Malik Nobel prize for peace in recognition of his efforts in providing immaculate theories to promote security, peace, health and energy in a society. Government of Pakistan should also bestow upon him some civil award for doing this great service to the nation. We as a nation would also like to thank him for his relentless efforts to make this country a place safer to live. He would surely remain as one of the most astute minister Pakistan will ever have.