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Marital Jokes

Son of Mountains

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A wife mentioned to her husband that for her birthday she would like something that accelerates from Zero to 100 in 5 seconds.





She was expecting something like this:






736C.jpg



But her husband presented her with something very different:





422W.jpg






The husband is in a critical but stable condition in ICU:P

.....................................................

How to Make ur Wife Happy?

Its not difficult to make a wife happy.
A husband only needs to be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a chef
5. an electrician
6. a carpenter
7. a plumber
8. a mechanic
9. a decorator
10. a stylist
11. a driver
13. a psychologist
14. a pest exterminator
15. a psychiatrist
16. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. All time romantic
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate
45. give her compliments regularly
46. shopping lover
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her for anything
50. not look at other girls...

So easy to make ur wife happy......

...............................................
URDU version:
Agar Columbus married hota to kabi America discover na kar pata kion keh Us se kisi bivi ne ye nahi pocha:

1- kahan ja rahay ho?
2- kion ja rahay ho?
3- kis k sath ja rahay ho?
4- mujhay Bhi le chalo apnay sath.
5- wapis kab Aao gay?
6- Ghar reh k hi discover kion nahi kr letay ho?
7- Meri Ammi ko he le jao sath.
8-Mere liay kya gift lao gay?
9-Pohanch kar fone karna.
10- wapsi par dahi aur anday letay aana.

ENGLISH version:
If Columbus were married, he would never be able to discover America.
He could discover because no wife was there to ask:
1- Where r u going?
2- Why r u going?
3- With whom?
4- I also want to accompany with u.
5- When you will come back?
6- Why don't u discover America while staying at home?
7- Conduct my Mom too with you.
8- What gift you will bring for me?
9- Ring me when you reach there.
10- Bring eggs and yogurt when coming back.
..................................................................

A Husband's diary:
"Now I always watch my wedding video in reverse
&

I luv the end when she takes the ring off,goes out,jumps in the car & heads back to her father's home"

(To be continued........)
 
.
A Husband's diary:
"Now I always watch my wedding video in reverse
&

I luv the end when she takes the ring off,goes out,jumps in the car & heads back to her father's home"

A Man used to Keep his wife's Photo in Pocket

Bcz

Whenever He Is In Trouble
He Looks At the Photo &
Thinks...



"If I Can Face this,
I Can Face AnyThing"
.......

Wife: jaanu aap ne shadi k pehle saal Eid per mujhe Lohay ka bed banwa k dia tha, is dafa
kia irada hai?

Husband: is saal os mein current chornay ka irada hai...!

........

Free advice:
If u want to b happy for a short time:
Get married

if u want to b happy for long time:
fall in love.

if u want to b happy for ever:
"Dont think of these two ever"
 
. . .

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