sanddy
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Lessons learnt from history | DAWN.COM
History is a very tricky subject. A famous
quote by Aldous Huxley says, “That men do
not learn from history is the most important
lesson that history has to teach.” I don’t
agree with this assertion as I have learnt
lessons from history and have actually
practiced a few of them in my life. Another
historian believes that history is the selection
of facts and events that suits our point of
view. This is a universal lesson and is
practiced by everyone in Pakistan.
Examine the speeches of Army generals,
judges, bureaucrats, politicians, religious
leaders, and anchor persons. History is our
favourite subject and all discussions in our
drawing rooms and television programs
revolve around history as far back as 1400
years. Our discussion of sectarian killings
ultimately goes back to the difference in
history. Even a chef on food channels quotes
a hadith from history to tell us the benefits of
some food.
Another historian says that all past histories
were selected biographies of rulers and
powerful men. This is the golden principle
practiced by our curriculum and syllabus
boards that make textbooks for children by
selective biographies from history. So here
are few of my lessons that I learnt from
history:
1. I have learned not to learn a lesson from
the distorted history that was taught to us at
schools. But, I practice what I learned from
my syllabus books. History is for window
dressing, the actual history is hidden at the
back of the Al-******** departmental store.
2. By the time we learn the actual history we
have long passed the age to benefit from
history lessons and are not even useful to
our adult children who are already molded by
false history taught at schools.
3. I learnt from our selective history that
starts from Mohenjo-Daro and skips 2000
years to Mohammad bin Qasim and then
jumps another 500 years to Mahmood of
Ghaznavi. I told my wife about my history
from childhood, then jumped to school years,
skipped my shenanigans in college and told
her about my struggle to make a living
staying clear of my free-for-all lifestyle
before marriage.
4. My resume is again my lesson from
history. I only wrote the success of my career
and omitted the failures and my visits to jail
during my college years. The long gaps
similar to Mohammad bin Qasim and
Mahmood Ghaznavi is a leaf straight out of a
Pakistan Studies book.
5. My children also tell me selected facts.
The torn shirts are because they fell in a
football game, only subjects with good marks
are proudly announced. I find out about the
subjects they flunked in only at parent-
teacher meetings that are held twice a year.
6. All my relatives excel in history. Ask them
about the fight between our grandparents
over a burnt meal that took place some 50
years ago. They will provide an exact
account of the event, expressions and minute
details. The complete command over history
is manifested during marriage ceremonies or
funerals, where all previous family disputes
spanning over three generations come alive,
with proofs and witnesses.
7. People learn so much from history in a
short span of time, that if a person
constructs a house, he becomes an architect.
The next time if there is discussion about a
constructing a house, you have an expert
opinion on architecture. And if you have gone
to a doctor for a sour throat or the flu, rest
assured that he will prescribe the same
medicine for all around him for at least one
decade. He stops this only when the
prescribed medicines are replaced by new
ones.
8. Listen to all TV talk shows and you will
see the lesson of jumping from Mohammad
bin Qasim to Mahmood Ghaznavi being
practiced by all guest speakers and anchors.
In one sitting they will leap from the British
period to Madina city-state and then come
back to the Lucknow pact and then cross
over to the Abbasid period and back to
mismanagement in Islamabad. They will give
example of Al-Zulfiqar in 1979 and prove
that PPP still has a militant wing in 2012.
9. I have also learnt from history that you
can kill all your siblings, imprison your
father, kill and imprison your opponents but
you will only be judged for sewing the topis
for your courtiers and writing the holy book
with your own handwriting. This is practiced
in different forms and we can put this topi on
the eyes of anyone (no pun intended on lal
topi).
10. But the most important lesson is that
while I am learning lessons from
international history, the imperialist control of
economy, foreign policies and extremism in
Pakistan and other grand subjects like
existentialism and free choice, it’s actually
my wife who makes most of the decisions.
History is a very tricky subject. A famous
quote by Aldous Huxley says, “That men do
not learn from history is the most important
lesson that history has to teach.” I don’t
agree with this assertion as I have learnt
lessons from history and have actually
practiced a few of them in my life. Another
historian believes that history is the selection
of facts and events that suits our point of
view. This is a universal lesson and is
practiced by everyone in Pakistan.
Examine the speeches of Army generals,
judges, bureaucrats, politicians, religious
leaders, and anchor persons. History is our
favourite subject and all discussions in our
drawing rooms and television programs
revolve around history as far back as 1400
years. Our discussion of sectarian killings
ultimately goes back to the difference in
history. Even a chef on food channels quotes
a hadith from history to tell us the benefits of
some food.
Another historian says that all past histories
were selected biographies of rulers and
powerful men. This is the golden principle
practiced by our curriculum and syllabus
boards that make textbooks for children by
selective biographies from history. So here
are few of my lessons that I learnt from
history:
1. I have learned not to learn a lesson from
the distorted history that was taught to us at
schools. But, I practice what I learned from
my syllabus books. History is for window
dressing, the actual history is hidden at the
back of the Al-******** departmental store.
2. By the time we learn the actual history we
have long passed the age to benefit from
history lessons and are not even useful to
our adult children who are already molded by
false history taught at schools.
3. I learnt from our selective history that
starts from Mohenjo-Daro and skips 2000
years to Mohammad bin Qasim and then
jumps another 500 years to Mahmood of
Ghaznavi. I told my wife about my history
from childhood, then jumped to school years,
skipped my shenanigans in college and told
her about my struggle to make a living
staying clear of my free-for-all lifestyle
before marriage.
4. My resume is again my lesson from
history. I only wrote the success of my career
and omitted the failures and my visits to jail
during my college years. The long gaps
similar to Mohammad bin Qasim and
Mahmood Ghaznavi is a leaf straight out of a
Pakistan Studies book.
5. My children also tell me selected facts.
The torn shirts are because they fell in a
football game, only subjects with good marks
are proudly announced. I find out about the
subjects they flunked in only at parent-
teacher meetings that are held twice a year.
6. All my relatives excel in history. Ask them
about the fight between our grandparents
over a burnt meal that took place some 50
years ago. They will provide an exact
account of the event, expressions and minute
details. The complete command over history
is manifested during marriage ceremonies or
funerals, where all previous family disputes
spanning over three generations come alive,
with proofs and witnesses.
7. People learn so much from history in a
short span of time, that if a person
constructs a house, he becomes an architect.
The next time if there is discussion about a
constructing a house, you have an expert
opinion on architecture. And if you have gone
to a doctor for a sour throat or the flu, rest
assured that he will prescribe the same
medicine for all around him for at least one
decade. He stops this only when the
prescribed medicines are replaced by new
ones.
8. Listen to all TV talk shows and you will
see the lesson of jumping from Mohammad
bin Qasim to Mahmood Ghaznavi being
practiced by all guest speakers and anchors.
In one sitting they will leap from the British
period to Madina city-state and then come
back to the Lucknow pact and then cross
over to the Abbasid period and back to
mismanagement in Islamabad. They will give
example of Al-Zulfiqar in 1979 and prove
that PPP still has a militant wing in 2012.
9. I have also learnt from history that you
can kill all your siblings, imprison your
father, kill and imprison your opponents but
you will only be judged for sewing the topis
for your courtiers and writing the holy book
with your own handwriting. This is practiced
in different forms and we can put this topi on
the eyes of anyone (no pun intended on lal
topi).
10. But the most important lesson is that
while I am learning lessons from
international history, the imperialist control of
economy, foreign policies and extremism in
Pakistan and other grand subjects like
existentialism and free choice, it’s actually
my wife who makes most of the decisions.
