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In Pakistan, everything is a conspiracy

Nitin Goyal

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If many of the analysts – some much more senior than I – are to be believed, Pakistan and Pakistanis are at the center of a vast network of conspiracies. Everyone from the long defunct KGB- and KHAD to the very real and regular CIA, RAW, Mossad, FSB, MI6, PMDC and the Intelligence Directorate of Nauru are hatching plots to destroy this fledgling “Nation of Muslims” and to eliminate it, as if they are the final boss of some video game or a Bond villain.

Everyone, from respected journalists sitting in their cushy offices, to senior bureaucrats masquerading as intellectuals, to “intelligence assets”, to the barber who cuts my hair – all are convinced that there are some massive conspiracies against everything in Pakistan, whether it is our “Islamic” bomb or some CEO of a company who got too greedy and thought that breaking the law was a good idea to make some money.

The Hazaras that were killed in Quetta? That was a well thought out plan to damage Pakistan’s credibility. That was a conspiracy. The way a social activist was brutally gunned down? That was also a conspiracy. How a well-known model was caught smuggling a large amount of cash? Conspiracy!

You can travel a little back in time. A polio team was killed for trying to administer immunizations? Conspiracy. The polio vaccine itself? Also a conspiracy. Both conspiracies highlighted by that damned “western” media? Another conspiracy! In fact, polio, the disease, is a conspiracy, the vaccine is also a conspiracy, and the killings of those trying to prevent them is also a conspiracy. The media highlighting it and WHO imposing travel restrictions on Pakistan? Another conspiracy. It is as if the conspiracies are breeding among themselves and producing child controversies, however self-contradictory.

A journalist gets shot? Conspiracy! His channel launches into full attack mode? Another conspiracy. Other media groups use that opportunity to endear themselves to other conspirators is another conspiracy. A fifteen year old asks for equal rights to education? Conspiracy. People shooting her, trying to kill her? Another conspiracy. A cleric decides to make a state-within-a-state? Conspiracy. That cleric dies and his brother tries to escape in a burka? Another conspiracy.

Pakistan has state-issued statistics that put our literacy rate below 50%? That’s a conspiracy. The country consistently ranks in the top 20 in the Failed State Index? Conspiracy. We have a wage gap that is growing larger by the day? Conspiracy. We are so corrupt that an official of Transparency Pakistan was caught in a corruption scandal? Conspiracy. The country’s law enforcement cannot take care of its own, let alone the people. Conspiracy. Everything that has gone wrong, from the founding of this country and the caesarean birth of this nation is a conspiracy perpetrated by someone else.

It is just so amazing, that we can find the “foreign hand” or an enemy intelligence agency’s role in anything and everything that is wrong with us. We even blame the very simple and obvious faults of our own at someone else, just so we don’t have to take responsibility for our mistakes. We will do whatever it takes to prove that someone else is responsible for our misfortunes, just to avoid doing the work it takes to fix most of the problems that stem from us and not anyone else. It is such a weird and cyclical way of doing things.

I wonder if this avoidance of responsibility and the blaming of others is a result of some other conspiracy against the integrity of Pakistan...

In Pakistan, everything is a conspiracy
 
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We will do whatever it takes to prove that someone else is responsible for our misfortunes, just to avoid doing the work it takes to fix most of the problems that stem from us and not anyone else. It is such a weird and cyclical way of doing things.

This is not weird. Avoiding responsibility for one's actions is far easier than actually owning up to and then working hard to rectify the consequences. This human trait is across the board, not just in Pakistan.
 
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Pakistani leaders from the beginning in general but especially in the past 25 years have been so irresponsible, selfish and incapable that one has to question if that country can ever become a nation that can stop being the terrorist factory of the world. All these leaders know is how to blame each other and when the bomb blast is too big, instead of admitting incompetence in controlling their own jihadis, they just blame others - India, USA, Afghanistan, Iran, Saudi Arabia, Israel...whatever seems easier to get away with at the moment! Animal flocks behave more responsibly than these people.

The so called NAP has taken a permanent nap! if even the massacre of 100s of ones own school children does not force the nation to act against the madrassah madness, what will?

The worse problem is there is no sign of any of this getting any better. As a generalized fact, there are some 2 million kids being 'educated' in madrassah and are being brought up with very little else than the hateful spirits of the rabid mullahs. The kids from private schools, which is a minority seem to have a slightly better chance of real education bit the vast majority have no chance and are brought up on such garbage in terms of history, values and ideals.

It is a shame.
 
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I dont have anything to say about the title but the content

 
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The author needs to realize that conspiracy theories exist everywhere in the world. We just have more problems and events that can be labelled as such, and a lack of education that makes people more gullible. But even developed countries have conspiracy theorists. The US, for example, has a large amount of conspiracy theorists that call everything from the moon landing to the Sandy Hook shooting a hoax.

This is not something we need to add to our list of crises.
How a well-known model was caught smuggling a large amount of cash? Conspiracy!
The way a social activist was brutally gunned down? That was also a conspiracy.
A journalist gets shot? Conspiracy! His channel launches into full attack mode? Another conspiracy. Other media groups use that opportunity to endear themselves to other conspirators is another conspiracy.
Bad examples.

The model herself named certain people and there is clear evidence of certain politicians being involved, for example the fact that Zardari's PA's pass was used. Suspecting Zardari (or any other politician) of trying to smuggle cash is in no way a conspiracy theory.

The Social activist being killed was actually conspiracy by whoever killed her. It wasn't a spontaneous thing, and it wasn't a 'lone wolf'.

The journalist getting shot was actually a conspiracy by whoever shot him. His channel then blaming the Intelligence agencies was actually the channel spreading a conspiracy theory.
 
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If many of the analysts – some much more senior than I – are to be believed, Pakistan and Pakistanis are at the center of a vast network of conspiracies. Everyone from the long defunct KGB- and KHAD to the very real and regular CIA, RAW, Mossad, FSB, MI6, PMDC and the Intelligence Directorate of Nauru are hatching plots to destroy this fledgling “Nation of Muslims” and to eliminate it, as if they are the final boss of some video game or a Bond villain.

Everyone, from respected journalists sitting in their cushy offices, to senior bureaucrats masquerading as intellectuals, to “intelligence assets”, to the barber who cuts my hair – all are convinced that there are some massive conspiracies against everything in Pakistan, whether it is our “Islamic” bomb or some CEO of a company who got too greedy and thought that breaking the law was a good idea to make some money.

The Hazaras that were killed in Quetta? That was a well thought out plan to damage Pakistan’s credibility. That was a conspiracy. The way a social activist was brutally gunned down? That was also a conspiracy. How a well-known model was caught smuggling a large amount of cash? Conspiracy!

You can travel a little back in time. A polio team was killed for trying to administer immunizations? Conspiracy. The polio vaccine itself? Also a conspiracy. Both conspiracies highlighted by that damned “western” media? Another conspiracy! In fact, polio, the disease, is a conspiracy, the vaccine is also a conspiracy, and the killings of those trying to prevent them is also a conspiracy. The media highlighting it and WHO imposing travel restrictions on Pakistan? Another conspiracy. It is as if the conspiracies are breeding among themselves and producing child controversies, however self-contradictory.

A journalist gets shot? Conspiracy! His channel launches into full attack mode? Another conspiracy. Other media groups use that opportunity to endear themselves to other conspirators is another conspiracy. A fifteen year old asks for equal rights to education? Conspiracy. People shooting her, trying to kill her? Another conspiracy. A cleric decides to make a state-within-a-state? Conspiracy. That cleric dies and his brother tries to escape in a burka? Another conspiracy.

Pakistan has state-issued statistics that put our literacy rate below 50%? That’s a conspiracy. The country consistently ranks in the top 20 in the Failed State Index? Conspiracy. We have a wage gap that is growing larger by the day? Conspiracy. We are so corrupt that an official of Transparency Pakistan was caught in a corruption scandal? Conspiracy. The country’s law enforcement cannot take care of its own, let alone the people. Conspiracy. Everything that has gone wrong, from the founding of this country and the caesarean birth of this nation is a conspiracy perpetrated by someone else.

It is just so amazing, that we can find the “foreign hand” or an enemy intelligence agency’s role in anything and everything that is wrong with us. We even blame the very simple and obvious faults of our own at someone else, just so we don’t have to take responsibility for our mistakes. We will do whatever it takes to prove that someone else is responsible for our misfortunes, just to avoid doing the work it takes to fix most of the problems that stem from us and not anyone else. It is such a weird and cyclical way of doing things.

I wonder if this avoidance of responsibility and the blaming of others is a result of some other conspiracy against the integrity of Pakistan...

In Pakistan, everything is a conspiracy


Both India and Pakistan have lots of conspiracy theorists especially in media.
 
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Please. What conspiracy did we have?

Pakistani media conspiracy? RAW RAW raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw

Indian media conspiracy theories? Hi Hess HI, isi, Hi Hess Hi


Here is the Indo-Pak combined song (imagine the back ground song. Dum maro dum, mit jai ghum, bolo subha shaam).

RAW RAW raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw, Hi Hess HI, isi, Hi Hess Hi
Hi Hess HI, isi, Hi Hess Hi, RAW RAW raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw,

RAW RAW raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw, Hi Hess HI, isi, Hi Hess Hi
Hi Hess HI, isi, Hi Hess Hi, RAW RAW raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw,

RAW RAW raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw, Hi Hess HI, isi, Hi Hess Hi
Hi Hess HI, isi, Hi Hess Hi, RAW RAW raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw,


enjoy!
 
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Pakistani media conspiracy? RAW RAW raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw

Indian media conspiracy theories? Hi Hess HI, isi, Hi Hess Hi
It is not a conspiracy. Its a well known fact that ISI takes part in terrorist activities. Everyone from Mullen, Panneta, heck even George Bush Jr. have alluded to this FACT.
 
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It is not a conspiracy. Its a well known fact that ISI takes part in terrorist activities. Everyone from Mullen, Panneta, heck even George Bush Jr. have alluded to this FACT.

For the "believers" their favorite conspiracy theory is always a "fact".
 
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If many of the analysts – some much more senior than I – are to be believed, Pakistan and Pakistanis are at the center of a vast network of conspiracies. Everyone from the long defunct KGB- and KHAD to the very real and regular CIA, RAW, Mossad, FSB, MI6, PMDC and the Intelligence Directorate of Nauru are hatching plots to destroy this fledgling “Nation of Muslims” and to eliminate it, as if they are the final boss of some video game or a Bond villain.

Everyone, from respected journalists sitting in their cushy offices, to senior bureaucrats masquerading as intellectuals, to “intelligence assets”, to the barber who cuts my hair – all are convinced that there are some massive conspiracies against everything in Pakistan, whether it is our “Islamic” bomb or some CEO of a company who got too greedy and thought that breaking the law was a good idea to make some money.

The Hazaras that were killed in Quetta? That was a well thought out plan to damage Pakistan’s credibility. That was a conspiracy. The way a social activist was brutally gunned down? That was also a conspiracy. How a well-known model was caught smuggling a large amount of cash? Conspiracy!

You can travel a little back in time. A polio team was killed for trying to administer immunizations? Conspiracy. The polio vaccine itself? Also a conspiracy. Both conspiracies highlighted by that damned “western” media? Another conspiracy! In fact, polio, the disease, is a conspiracy, the vaccine is also a conspiracy, and the killings of those trying to prevent them is also a conspiracy. The media highlighting it and WHO imposing travel restrictions on Pakistan? Another conspiracy. It is as if the conspiracies are breeding among themselves and producing child controversies, however self-contradictory.

A journalist gets shot? Conspiracy! His channel launches into full attack mode? Another conspiracy. Other media groups use that opportunity to endear themselves to other conspirators is another conspiracy. A fifteen year old asks for equal rights to education? Conspiracy. People shooting her, trying to kill her? Another conspiracy. A cleric decides to make a state-within-a-state? Conspiracy. That cleric dies and his brother tries to escape in a burka? Another conspiracy.

Pakistan has state-issued statistics that put our literacy rate below 50%? That’s a conspiracy. The country consistently ranks in the top 20 in the Failed State Index? Conspiracy. We have a wage gap that is growing larger by the day? Conspiracy. We are so corrupt that an official of Transparency Pakistan was caught in a corruption scandal? Conspiracy. The country’s law enforcement cannot take care of its own, let alone the people. Conspiracy. Everything that has gone wrong, from the founding of this country and the caesarean birth of this nation is a conspiracy perpetrated by someone else.

It is just so amazing, that we can find the “foreign hand” or an enemy intelligence agency’s role in anything and everything that is wrong with us. We even blame the very simple and obvious faults of our own at someone else, just so we don’t have to take responsibility for our mistakes. We will do whatever it takes to prove that someone else is responsible for our misfortunes, just to avoid doing the work it takes to fix most of the problems that stem from us and not anyone else. It is such a weird and cyclical way of doing things.

I wonder if this avoidance of responsibility and the blaming of others is a result of some other conspiracy against the integrity of Pakistan...

In Pakistan, everything is a conspiracy
Indians are more obsessed with conspiracy theories. They don't even spare pigeons and camels from their paranoia when it comes to blaming ISI and Pakistan for even the littlest of things.
 
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Indians are more obsessed with conspiracy theories. They don't even spare pigeons and camels from their paranoia when it comes to blaming ISI and Pakistan for even the littlest of things.
Very well said dear.
 
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